Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy swimming lessons

My thoughts in this direction have been that it may benefit the next child if the instructor thinks outside the box more; but the director even said that she has a different personality, and way of doing things; so she can't get beyond the way she thinks. Heavy sigh.
I am going to pull him from the class. He really wants to take lessons; but she actually causes him to have nightmares with her acting so disappointed in him. Thank you!

Adding a different perspective here. Maybe this is a case of lopsided expectations due to comparing a gifted (or highly gifted) swimmer and your son, who sounds above average or more to me. Disclaimer: this analysis is based on what I've seen other kids do while watching my three taking lessons.

I haven't seen a lot of preschoolers who can swim laps and who have a "fierce kick," much less ones who are ready for a swim league. Most kids that age (even in the warm climate where I live) are working on getting in the pool or approximating the crawl for 15 feet. I wonder if your son's teacher is expecting your son to live up to the abilities of the other girl. (?)

I mean, goodness, he's five years old, which is a bit young to be focused on "work" in a pool. If the other girl enjoys it, great for her. But your son shouldn't be pressured into misery if he can't keep up and/or doesn't want to. He's just a little boy and this is supposed to be fun. And please ignore her mom; you don't have to organize your son's life to meet her needs.

Have you told the director direclty that your son is unhappy, that you think the teacher is part of the problem, and that you're thinking of leaving the class? It's wonderful that they created the class for him, but if the teacher is being too impatient with him, what's the point? If the director thinks the problem is exclusive to your son, yet he was able to work with the boy himself without the same problems (?), you might not have much luck getting anyone to meet you halfway.

I keep thinking, "He's a little boy!"

HTH,

Val

When I first read your post I didn't register his age, and I assumed he was more in the 8-9 year range. I think making a 5 year old "stick" something out that isn't working just doesn't make sense, not to mention you are spending a lot of money on swim lessons that are not working. I understand having a child who self selects an activity finish that session (particulary if it is a team, unless there is a serious issue), but I tend to see that as a 6-8 week commitment, not full year, and in this case you are asking him to do this activity.

I would go to the director and say that while you so very much appreciate their help in scheduling, this teacher is not working out. Ask if there is any way that one of the teachers who did work out with your son could do a morning class, and if they can't help you, go elsewhere. If they can, thank them profusely and say that you would be happy to speak with the instructor about why you made the switch. It doesn't have to be about her, but you might explain why the fit just wasn't working, and maybe she will think about her methods some.

Cat

Just some thoughts. Swim lessons should be fun for the child but it also is an important lesson to take especially if you have a pool on property. I really don't see how overbearing, disapproving instructors are going to help advance anyone's skills and the risk of this approach turning him off to swimming or not advancing or even back sliding in his abilities is too much of a risk. If you are not getting the director's backing than pull him out. It sounds like you have other options. And if you are worried about what message you are sending to your son just remember that you can vocalize what you want him to come away from this situation with: how about you understand his frustrations and clearly the class he is taking is only causing more frustration for him when your only wish is for him to learn swimming but have fun doing it.

I just joined a SENG group in my area, and they all agreed with me to leave. I have tried speaking with the teacher and the director; so I always try to work things out before just bailing, more for their education.:) I am always thinking that at some point, someone may understand. So, I am happy with our decision to leave. I had to give 30 days notice. Today may be his last day; although I have to pay for 3 more lessons (oh well). He is 5; and he is learning to deal with different personalities; but at this point he doesn't need the pressure; and his emotional welfare is more important to us. I was able to join a great gym this week (for me, finally - that has a great kids area for him with a basketball court, slide tunnels, movies playing, and computers to play games on:); and he is getting a swim assessment there on Saturday to see which group he would fit into; so hopefully that will work out instead. I told them about needing a good personality match; so they will let me view the class prior to joining. Thanks to all for your support!!!