Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Working within the system frustration!

I'm trying to work within my system to advocate for my DS7. We've been doing much better this year and still we have a lot of work to do.

I'm in a blue state so gifted is mandated which you would think is great. Only there are about 50 different policy manuals each at about 100 pages to read through. Some of them contradict the others, some are so vague as to be useless and some of them are changed as soon as I ask a question in my favor. Very frustrating.

My latest question was ignored for two months and then answered, only totally not a policy answer. I want to see it in black and white. "Yes" my DS7 can do this or "No" we can't provide that and here is the document to prove it. How difficult is that for a state with written policies on gifted education? UGH!

It is frustrating. I would try to start at the beginning. Who are going to be the decisionmakers in your case. Ask them (in writing and if you think it will be an issue, in a formal letter) to provide you with copies of the policies they will follow as they make decisions re: your son. You are right that a moving target will make it very difficult. Just identifying the decisionmakers can be a huge task, but also make a huge difference. Don't wait too long to go up the chain of command - I very much regret waiting 2-3 weeks for an answer. That is unreasonable and answers should come faster. If not, go up the chain.

Once you have identified the policies you will need to learn them well.

And well, then the fun begins. If you are getting some cooperation, then some of the following may not apply - but if not, my suggestions are:

do everything in writing and mail the letter, keep a copy and if necessary send it return receipt or certified or something like that (it signals that you are serious). Include dates by which you expect a response. Don't make threats. Keep a record of every call, email, meeting, contact, letter, etc.

if you find someone sympathetic, use them. Sometimes that is all it takes.

Good luck, Cat

Have you contacted your state gifted association to help you wade through the paperwork?

Thanks Cat. I have been dealing with the people at the very top. Mostly they just ignore me since they know their own policies actually support what I'm asking for. It's just that no one has ever called them on it before.

I keep getting we only do blah blah. Then I respond saying, "Okay, great. Can I get a copy of the policy that states this?" At which point they begin ignoring me again. Or mis quote the policy, which is just annoying. Then I quote them the actual policy and ask them if there is perhaps an updated policy that I am unaware of or a different policy. More ignoring.

I did get a hold of a person today on the phone and she neither confirmed nor denyed the question I'm asking about. She just mentioned that it may be that we don't have the teachers available and that is why I'm being told this. More blah, blah...

I'm seriously about the documentation so I've been putting everything in writing via email. I hadn't thought of sending a certified letter though or putting a date of when I expect a response. I can see how that may get them to pay attention. I'm definitely going to try that!

Inky - I don't think we have a gifted association, at least not one that helps with advocacy. We have something that comes up online but it doesn't seem to be active.

I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable to just get a question answered. It's just so absurd!

I am not sure if you are in a public or private school for look into the state department of education. Many times there are educational consultants who work freely on your behalf in getting issues resolved with the public schools (I even know some that have been willing to try and step in to help out advocate for a private school too, though the school isn't required to listen, hearing it from a professional educational consultant that works for the state and is aware of all of the state mandates and policies may help.) Worth looking into perhaps.

Another great idea! I hadn't thought to ask if there was such a thing and rest assured no one would offer up the information. I'm asking today! The people on this site, rock!!!!

Since it came up, I'll post this link for state gifted associations. Last spring, I was looking at a move to NC and contacted the head of their gifted association who was very helpful. The move never materialized but it was a wonderful resource.
http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=609

This is a bit off-topic but related.

A dear friend of mine works in a good public school system as an administrator of a high school. She manages the special education for the school and says the parents of these kids know their rights and fight for their kids. Every e:mail that asks a question ends with something like "I look forward to hearing from you by close of business on Tuesday." Every letter request has a deadline, every meeting with the school is accompanied by an attorney. My friend applauds these parents because they are the ones who get what they need for their kids. She commented to me once that until the families of gifted children use these tactics, a school may never get serious about your child's needs. It's hard for the schools to differentiate, but they still need to do it! Typically the schools that are good at it had a family pave the way some time before.

I applaud your tenacity. What you do now will also help future gifted children in your school. Keep it up!

Thanks Eleanor! and I think I missed my calling. LOL! By the time this is over with I'll make a great advocate for anyone in my area. Maybe I should start an organization?

I'm going to look at that link Inky - maybe it has something for me

How big is your school district and are you dealing with principal or a super or ??? I am lucky that I am in a fairly small district - 1 large HS, 2 Middle schools, a handful of elementary, and I knew if I had to I could go to a board of ed. meeting and make a big stink (although I had heard the super. would probably be helpful) - luckily it didn't come to that.

In a big district, if you are dealing with a central administrative office you will have to go about it more formally and with proper documentation. I would also ask for what you want and what you think it allowed under the policy. You don't have to go on and on, just make the request, quote the policy, and show it applies to you.

For example:

I write to request that my son, DS, be accelerated from 3rd grade to 5th grade for math and reading.

According to District Policy #55-555, subject acceleration is allowed when [blah blah blah - quote the policy verbatim].

Our son meets the criteria outlined in #55-555 because [scores, tests, teachers recommend, whatever it is].

Because our son falls within #55-555, we would like to meet immediately to discuss our request so that he educational needs can be met in a more appropriate manner. We expect to hear from you by X date."

One thing that can help is to find out from a special ed parent what protections they have. I am not an expert at all in that, but I think in our state the school has to reply within 10 business days to any requests, communication, etc. If you follow what they are used to with the special ed. requests, you might find they are programmed to respond.

Cat