Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Will she ever slow down!?!

Lol - Thank you all. Nice to know we're not alone

Thanks for the advice and we're implementing most of those strategies. I do insist my time and explain that as a family we're all entitled to have some time to do things we're interested in. Once I have extracted her from around my neck begging me to keep playing, she's very good at entertaining herself - though not so much the stopping talking (I like them mandatory quiet time idea - will definitely give that one a go).

I put time limits on those games that really bore me and I explain that while I can see it's a game that she loves, that as an adult such and such a game is only interesting for me for so long, but that she is welcome to keep playing it. I also often say "I'm done for pretend games today, I'm happy to play a board game, do some craft, read etc or I can help you set up what you'd like to play and then I'm going to do x".

I think sometimes she has a whole scenario playing out in her head and she has an idea of where she wants it to go, so it can be very hard for her to switch gears. I do give her some warning when I am going to stop playing so she can get her head right, but that brain keeps whirring away.

I'm not sure if it's a positive or negative, but she doesn't do this unless she's one on one with us or a couple of very trusted family members. (I was going to say negative - as she really doesn't give anyone a sense of who she is, but hearing your stories, perhaps there are some positives!). So at preschool, she's as quiet as a mouse and in most social settings, even with us there, she's very quiet too (I remember the parents of one of her friends asking me if I had any concerns about her speech when she was 3 because she then, as now, she barely says a peep at other people's houses - then we'd get in the car to go and and it would be yammer, yammer, yammer!). This seems to be a part of her desperate need to fit in by going under the radar - a story for another day!

Mine is a mouse in school when she is supposed to be, but the hand is ALWAYS in the air and always answering questions but she CAN turn it off when it needs to be. Maybe that's why at almost 9 it hasn't stopped at home (it's bottled up all day while in school! SIGH!)

My DS 4.5 also is a continuous talker, also with the imaginative stories. I thought we were the omly ones who had to be characters. It's 3 of us, so it's always in groups of 3. And he also takes in information from everywhere and then makes stories up about them, lately in reposnse to a timeline of eras he has decided we are saber tooth tiger (him delightfully pronounced swaber) I got to be the woolly mammoth and DH was t-Rex after a time travel device was created to bring trex into our time period!! DS is learning about audience, he used to not stop talking when I would buckle him in and then close the car door, I admit I paused before opening my door occasionally and could see his mouth moving, now he pauses and just starts right back up once I open the door. He is okay with minimal input when walking or driving, the occasional related question or comment is fine, and now he wants to tell his stories to himself, he will go into his room, not now mommy I am by,myself to tell my stories. The first time he closed his door on my dh, it was a little insulting till we realized it was freeing. But I don't cut him off because one of my clearest early memories is a parent saying to me, honey, you've talked for x minutes straight now you need to be quiet for X minutes. I was so insulted, but I can't say I have never tuned out and I have been caught too - mommy how was my black hole traveling around the sun, what, what???

DeHe

Lol! DeHe, apart from going off to her room to tell stories, you describe my life. DD does exactly the same thing in the car (and I often take a pause - just to clear my head of noise!). Similarly dd will find a way around any unlikely scenario - love the time machine, fantastic

I agree re not asking her to stop, and I don't unless I really need to concentrate at which point I tell her I'd love to hear what she's got to say, but will need to come back to it. Though often she's well and truly on some other topic.

It was kindergarten meet and greet day just a few weeks ago. DD5 and I lined up to say hi to the teacher. She wouldn't stop talking! She said "hi" and she wouldn't stop talking to the teacher. There was a long line after us. So I told the teacher, "Good luck! She doesn't stop talking." And I dragged her away. We walked 5 steps away from the teacher. DD5 made a sharp U turn and headed back to the teacher. I caught her in time before she started rambling again.

No, you are not alone.

That's interesting - but isn't it the case that what was insulting was not being asked for quiet, exactly, but rather realising that your speech had been timed rather than listened to? We all have different things that strike us as unacceptable things to do to children and it's often to do with what was done to us. I couldn't give you a specific example to explain why, but to me, one thing that seems unacceptable is tuning my DS out, that is, pretend to listen when I'm not. I want him to listen when people are talking to him, and it seems to me that that gives me an obligation to listen when he's talking to me. This is one of the reasons why I feel free to tell him when I can't listen right now, or any more. Sometimes I do even say "I can't really pay attention right now" while still letting him talk on, but at least then he's had fair warning that I'd fail any test he set!

Hey blob

get the same here. If he would serttle down into a book he would probably quieten his head down.

Just to say - yet again - good CDs/audiobooks do have some effect, especially if they are played when he is doing something else (like playing with his Lego or drawing)

I was in the ER recently (just dehydrated and didn't know). They had me hooked up to a heart beat monitor and a fetal heartbeat monitor while I was getting my fluids. They had to come check because it looked like I had twins because my own heartbeat was matching the baby's at 160 bpm. The hubby left with the boy to get dinner and my pulse went to normal, 60-80 bpm. They returned and it was right back to 160. I said, I told you the boy never let's me rest. He needs constant attention. He's always in my face. And he doesn't stop. Ever. If I go to the bathroom he brings a stool to stand on so he can be right in my face still talking. Colinsmum, I'm glad you said it's okay to not listen as long as I don't pretend to because I do tell him, baby, I need a break. Baby, I can't listen to you right now. Sometimes I feel bad I keep reading the other mothers say they always listen, always answer. He gets a lot of attention. I don't dodge his quiestions because he's young. I don't ignore him for long. And I do tell him that I need him to give me some space. I just couldn't believe the heartbeat monitor proved the effect of that kind of intensity so clearly.

Add us to the list! I remember when I was in the hospital to have DD8. The babysitter said she could not handle another day with DS then 18 mos. because he never stopped and she was exhausted - she was 20!

Since the Magic School Bus is the "hit" with my big girl...all her liitle stories and play adventures involve the MSB class and bus! LOL!