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I agree completely (see title of this message).

I'd also like to point out that gifted doesn't mean shy. I know lots of outgoing gifted people.

Val

Cue Stephen Stills (yes, I'm that old) and "love the one you're with"!

And of course you do--of course you cherish that wonderful little girl with all your heart, of course you embrace her uniqueness, of course you wouldn't change the essential her for anything in the world, of course you can help her find ways to grow and learn and stretch herself--and stretch yourself, too! Parenthood has pulled my heart and head into wild new shapes and sizes, as it does to every parent; it's a hard job, but that's OK. It's a great job--the best!--too.

Go out for an ice cream and have some fun with your sweet little one, who is her own wonderful, unique, precious self!

peace and love from that old hippie
minnie

Grinity

that is exactly what i felt (my title rather than yours), i know there are enough gifted and outgoing people, but those are the ones who are successful in life, that is exactly what i want my child to be... rather than book worm and keep that to herself, who cares if somebody is gifted or not finally it boils down to how successful you are in your life (how much money u earn)....the world is cruel and not for people who are shy and can not speak what they wanted, if you are bold and outgoing ( i am not telling this just because she could not speak during a meeting) everything is at their feet, see all those at managerial positions..
But given choice............. (my title of topic)

The words you used are considered very harsh. There is a cultural and language difference and something has been lost in translation.

Or not.

I agree with what Jesse said. As a very shy child, it was very hurtful to know that my outgoing mom wanted me to be more outgoing. From my perspective, she wanted to fix what wasn't broken. She has never really understood me, no matter how many ways I've tried to explain. I even had her read the chapter on introversion in Silverman's book.

I also think it's important to note that being shy/introverted is not some large barrier to success. (It didn't stop me from becoming a litigator, for example.) I vaguely recall reading that there are quite a few closet introverts amongst successful people.

When she is older, the circumstances of your child's life may motivate her to speak in ways that she's not willing to while she's young. This is something she'll have to do for herself; I would not advise forcing her.

And one last thing, don't overlook the connection between introversion and perfectionism. The more confident a person is about their knowledge of a subject, the easier it is to speak about it.

Must be tough to find the fine line between challenging her to succeed or just boosting her self-esteem with work performance that is too easy for her. �Everybody needs a little bit of both, a balance. �Some people worry too much about the self-esteem, and some people completely disregard other peoples discomfort. �Most people try to find a healthy balance. That sounds like what you're trying to do but �"one class is too hard, one class is too soft". Don't worry, soon you'll find the one that is "just right.". And that too shall pass.

Also, some people buy their kids flashier clothes to help them get past the "break the ice" thing, like for the first week of school. �Sometimes it's easier to come out of your shell in a costume. Try sequined shoes and other bling. �I've heard it works for some people.

Umm. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think it's important to let your child be the person she is and let define success for herself.

Many members of this forum have complained that some teachers and others say "You should just let your kid be a kid!" when they see our preschoolers reading. As though there's only one right way to be a kid --- and it doesn't involve liking math or science or reading before kindergarten. Our kids are being kids: they're being the kids they are. And this is okay.

So maybe you need to let your daughter be the person she is. By this, I don't mean that you should let her have anything she wants. I mean that you should accept her shyness as a part of who she is and don't try to force her into being a person she's not. Gently and positively helping her overcome shyness is good. Dumping on her and saying she'd be better off "dumb" is not.


I'm bold and outgoing and gifted, and I would definitely not say that the world is at my feet. WoW, that would be nice, but it's just not the way life is. I bet even Bill Gates gets frustrated with the system, just like everyone else.

Finally, as someone who works with children who have a hereditary developmental disorder and who could be described by uninformed people as "dumb," I can tell you that their families would give anything if their children were intelligent and healthy. They would not give a hoot about being shy or not. I know that we have our problems with schools, and they're real and they need to be fixed, but they're nothing compared to what families of developmentally disabled children go through.

Just my two cents.

Val

Well put Minnie. Guess I'm one of your fellow tie dye wearers.

The biggest gift we can give our kids is acceptance. The world needs all kinds of people.

Perhaps therein lay the problem. If you don't boast about it then there is no expectation.

Read up on introversion and you may well find the answers to your frustration and at the same time gain valuable insight into your daughters life and personality. Just a thought.

http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....troverts_Now_I_Understand.html#Post70489

That's true. �You should never brag on your kids or they'll make you out a liar. �A few months ago I was at the lake at a cook-out and another mother with a kid the same age as mine noticed I didn't put a swim pamper on him under his trunks. �She was all impressed. �I said yeah, it was very easy. �I saw this idea online. �I got a bag of m&m's and bribed him with choosing a "potty candy" every time he went. �Made a big deal out of it, let him chose which color. �He potty trained himself immediately without schedules or reminders. � Wouldn't you know it he wet himself while we stood there talking about it. �:)

But my son does all kinds of things well in the comfort and privacy of our family that I don't think he'd do in front of strangers. �It's normal. �Don't worry about it. �But are you concerned about the shyness holding her back socially when she's advanced academically? �I think you made it unclear like maybe you wished you'd held her back to stay at the top of the class rather than being in the middle of her new class. �Probably not, you did chose to skip her. �