Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums THINKING BIG About Gifted Education Non-success stories.

all I know is NOTHING has worked for DD#1 and I'm just so sad. Where do you all live that your public (?) school teachers are actually suggesting your kids be accelerated or are even open to it? And are all your kids work producers? Mine REFUSES to do things, especially writing...it's been an issue since Kindergarden (she's in 3rd now) and NO ONE has offered a single solution that actually works. Part of me is secretly pleased that she has everyone jumping all around, but since I'm one of those people, I am utterly EXHAUSTED! School is totally ruining my ability to appreciate my wonderful, serious, creative, interesting little person!
I am getting ready to go to the mat with the school because I feel she would be better off in our less than 500 kids K-12 magnet (global citizenship) but I feel like they are not really willing to explore "special treatment" for my kid...that they would rather tell me to take her to one of the schools in our district that does have GATE classes...

You what I DO know doesn't work? WAITING. and that's why I'm trying to get my 4.5 yo in kinder early...that's going to be a real fun battle, I'm sure

Well, both my mother (who is undoubtedly gifted, but was educated before there was such a thing as gifted education) and my gifted DH were accelerated.

Both of them wish they were not, despite succeeding academically.

My DH was both intellectually and athletically gifted. Being the smallest and youngest boy in his class was frustrating for the athlete in him and he never really got over that.

My mother was always ahead of her older peers academically, but lacked confidence because she had less social maturity than her classmates. This was the root of a lifelong struggle with anxiety and depression.

I don't know what the better alternative would have been for either of them and neither of them were dealing with the current system ... but acceleration was not a great solution in either case.

Since I accelerated and was gifted athletically, I found my athletic interests outside of the school system, I figure skated competitively. Then grade level doesn't affect you.

And I did cheerleading, so socially I could be accepted easily, even though I was younger. There are options.

My mother's siblings earned hard PHDs. My mom did not get anything past a BS.

She was easily the smartest of the bunch as she helped them with their homework in HS and college though she was the youngest. She could read the book and then solve the problems.

I have a number of short stories she wrote when in 2d-6th grade. The early ones were 20 pages long with the later ones 40 pages. They are very well done. About half are about the same character, a young girl who wants to be included in adult things.

She came of age in the 40s and 50s when young girls did not do sports nor were they academically encouraged.

At her funeral, a number of HS and work friends showed up.

I learned that she could hit home runs in grade school and middle school playing baseball with the boys teams. There is a stunning photo in a yearbook of her as a sophomore sitting on a piano singing. She was very pretty, slim, and tall. She completed algebra II, the highest math course in her HS, as a sophomore. I also found out that she spent most of her time in HS sitting in the back reading. I also found out that her dad was physically abusive especially to her.

And she never developed the discipline to focus on her writing, though she rose quite high in the companies she was in. A boss from work told me she could spot fraud by talking to people or eyeballing detailed financials.

Looking back, she probably had no outlets for her talents most of her life. And more valued for her looks, cut off from sports in late middle school, and with a limited academic program in HS, she found barriers everywhere that she had real growth potential.

I had some great chats with family yesterday at a birthday party; my brother-in-law (quite a smarty himself) was commenting that this is a great time to grow up a girl. I said I didn't think there was a better time (admitting in my head, yes there are still barriers).
I took 6 girl nieces and my daughter to the nearby excellent air and space museum and for the big group photo, asked them to say 'FUTURE ENGINEER!'. They really enjoyed that one; each and everyone of them is smart and most are obviously gifted. All are interested in science, math and just plain old building things. We had a blast.
My mother's story is similar to Austin's, she was excellent at everything she got a chance to do, but those options were limited.

To answer cmac's question, we are not in a place where whole grade acceleration is encouraged at all, but as you get up in higher grades subject accel. becomes an option. Imo, that is great for a moderately gifted child but I have a kid who needs more math in K already, so we are working on differentiating for that specifically, but is has been a struggle. More later as I have to run.

What didn't work?

Not accelerating DD because she was small (10th percentile height in K). Although in my defense, I'd read that seeing the age group your child is drawn to is a good way to determine their social level. She played "down". Although now I know that was because in her multi-age classroom the creative, musical children were younger. Now, in HS, she makes friends with the upper classmen faster than her own grade level.

Also, it didn't work to trust the public school to understand that even a high achieving child can have a learning disability.

My DS7 is NOT a work producer . . . can barely write a sentence, which is a big part of why we didn't accelerate him at his teachers suggestion.

And frankly, I think his teacher suggested the grade skip b/c she didn't want to be bothered to do the extra things he would need for in-class multi-subject acceleration. So it's not that she understands DS so well, it's just that she didn't want to deal with a pushy mom. You know, every mom thinks their kid is a genius.

We got the principal on our side, and ultimately the result is a slightly higher book for reading group, and DS is basically self-educating in math and science. Seriously, the teacher can't even be bothered to look at the computer he's working on during math class to see what it has him doing.

So maybe the answer is to find a lazy teacher.

In terms of writing- is it his handwriting? He doesn't like writing? Maybe you can try to home once a week to have him write 3 brief sentences about something fun.
We are doing Handwriting Without Tears for my first grader- his handwriting has gotten alot better. I think he just needed more practice.

Yeah, we did that. We tried him typing too. We've done O.T. We're in the midst of an evaluation now for L.D.

My DS's school suggested a grade skip simply because they had nothing else for him - his 1st grade teacher said he had nothing to teach him - even that wasn't really enough. The second grade teacher was very excited to do something for an advanced kid until she realized that he was way ahead of her kids too and we were pushing her to differentiate for DS.

I don't think anyone on this board has had a situation where the schools have just bent over backwards to provide our DCs with the best possible accomodations, but I have been at my DS's school since the 1st week of K when I realized that he already knew everything she said she was going to teach him that year. Over a period of time, I built a relationship with people inside and outside of the school to get to my least worse option (this is a frequent term here), then I applied to a different district's HG program and we are still working with the school. So, while success might not really happen, I think you can get to a point where it is not as bad as it once was. I think you are well on your way