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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 81
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 81 |
One of the things I've noticed about GT adults is that they (being perfectionists) tend to notice the things that they did wrong in a given project. So when someone compliments them, it embarrasses them and they feel it's necessary to point out all the mistakes they made.
I wouldn't encourage your DD to deprecate her work. I would encourage her to say, "Thank you" perhaps followed by "I worked hard on it" or "I spent a lot of time doing X." This way she's taking ownership of it; acknowledging that it didn't come exactly easy (even if it was easier than many people would find it); and (hopefully) she's setting up the internal idea that work/challenge is important.
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 313
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 313 |
One of the things I've noticed about GT adults is that they (being perfectionists) tend to notice the things that they did wrong in a given project. So when someone compliments them, it embarrasses them and they feel it's necessary to point out all the mistakes they made. That would be me. I tend to devaluate my work because I see so many people do just as good as I do.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 81
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 81 |
That would be me.
I tend to devaluate my work because I see so many people do just as good as I do. And yet, you work hard on the things you've accomplished. And the people who give you compliments don't really want you to say, "no, you're wrong. it's not as nice as you think it is." 
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,777
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,777 |
I wouldn't have thought of it as being rude, but since you put it that way it does sound kind of rude. Thanks for the insight.
Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 313
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 313 |
And yet, you work hard on the things you've accomplished. And the people who give you compliments don't really want you to say, "no, you're wrong. it's not as nice as you think it is."  When I get compliments, I usually change the topic after a quick thank you. However, all I can think about are the mistakes that I made along the way.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 125
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 125 |
It took me until I was 22 to be comfortable with getting compliments that relate at all to my intelligence, or with talking about being gifted. The scary thing is, I'd say that's better than average.
For me, the change came when I started studying gifted education and learned more about what giftedness is and how it affects personality and thinking style as well as just mental agility. Self-understanding and self-acceptance contribute a lot to social interaction. I'm curious: what kind of atmosphere surrounds your DD's giftedness? Do you talk openly with her about her intelligence and the way her mind works?
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