Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school reaching out of loliness's hole

I have so much in my head regarding this gifted stuff, myself and my kids... I am having a hard time prioritizing what to ask first etc. I thought I would just put it out there and see what people have to say.... I don't want to "hothouse" my kid. I don't like the term. So I have been trying to just follow her lead... She loves Starfall..ohhh my. So I thought I would just try and see what happens if we played for as long as she wanted... 1 hour 50 minutes later she gets off my lap and wants to play with the little letters puzzle... A while later she brings me a book to read....Then over to the fridge with the magnetic letters to spell a few words... She counts everything. I have to say I use some of this to help make things happen. For example we went swimming and it was late when we were done so she was not wanting to get dressed...I encouraged her by we can put your shirt on and count the trains on the shirt. Well it worked.... I have no idea how much to correct her... Like she goes to the fridge to spell bus from the starfall program and she gets the right letters but puts them in the wrong order... Do I correct this or just think wow thats great and let it be. I feel like I am lying to her if I don't say something...Today she was counting the stairs and said seventeen instead of seven... Do I correct that or leave it? None of our play group knows the letters yet so I can't ask what they do... I am also just so concerned for her well being having watched my first one struggle with school issues and friend issues. Her birthday is after the cut for Kindegarden and I worry about that even though its a ways off. Financially it makes a difference though for us...Okay so there I have been thinking of making this post for ages and maybe just part of it is to reach out to others in the "same boat". Thank-you for reading this far and any input is more than welcome.

I don't know if my answer is the best but I can give you what I did during that phase.

IE. spelling bus on the fridge but in the wrong order. I would praise her effort and say great job as I put them in the proper order so she visually sees the correct word spelling.

IE. 17 instead of 7. My response would be "Yes, 7 8 9, etc."

I don't see this as correcting because you aren't saying NO, basically you are acknowledging her trying but providing the right answer.

With numbers, DD would do something similar to what you described when she was younger. I think it is due to rote memorization at that point. She was always skipping over some random number; usually 7 or 9. But I would recite it back to her, making sure to highlight the missed number but always encouraging her; it wasn't long before she had the rote memorization down. Once they get beyond rote memorization and see it as representation of something more the mixing up of numbers and/or dropping of numbers tends to go away. At least that is how DD progressed.

Hi flower,
It IS tough to know what makes sense for our kids (I say "our", but mine is definitely not in your league, so I can only imagine your bewilderment.)

I think its wonderful when you can use learning as an inducement. Seems completely appropriate. (Now, the other way ("count the trains so we can go swimming"), at her age, not so much.) I think the way to approach it (and you're going to have to fine tune it depending on the circumstances) is not to point out the mistake, but do mention the right thing. For instance, when she says seventeen, you can go "Yeah, seven, eight, nine." or when she spells sub instead of bus, you can say, "cool! sub!" If she asked about it you can say something like (enunciated where appropriate, "I know it's sub and not bus because it begins with an s."

Flower, my younger DS (26 months) is exactly the same way. While he's extremely athletic and can keep up with the older gang on his scooter or bike outside, when we're inside he's all about Starfall, puzzles, and books, books, books. He is trying to read everything, and he counts all day long, too. I'm sure you're not hothousing DD, since there's no way I'm doing it to mine either. (I now HS my DYS6, and between that and running around town constantly, it leaves little one-on-one time for little DS during the school year!) It's just who they are.

If your DD is like my DS, she probably just loves to practice her new skils. It's a very common trait in gifted toddlers. IMO, we should just embrace it and enjoy that time together! I do often gently correct (ie, "that's it....seventeen!) if I think it's part of a skill set that he's working on mastering. I usually pick my battles, though, to try and not frustrate him. (for example, mine is making huge strides right now with sentences, so I am trying to encourage that and usually don't correct him when he leaves out articles, etc.)

FWIW, my older son was exactly the same way, and he is extremely social and "popular" around his age-peer friends even while we homeschool. There's no use in worrying about any of that right now. INO, their personalities will lead them through the social issues, not anything we do to encourage their learning!

I agree that most toddler moms aren't in the same place. I probably irritated more than a few moms when my older one was at this stage, since I just figured all the children were around his level. Now I know not to bring these things up at playgroup, and to just nod and smile when someone else brags that their 2 year olds know a few colors or letters.

We did not correct at all at that age. Or, I should say, we did correct a few times, had it backfire horribly (DD would stop trying something altogether if there was any indication that she was doing it wrong) and gave it up immediately. Now that she's 4, I do correct her once in a while, and she tolerates it well, but we've done a lot of work to help her overcome her natural perfectionism.

Wow thank-you for the responses... I feel a sense of relief.... How much playing on Starfall do people let there kids do? The counting thing was easier when it was a skip of a number..then I could just count with the right number in the place. This seventeen thing is a bit strange because its like a correction to do anything about it....

Another question is does anyone have a developmental breakdown of pretend play. Sometimes I have spoken about what my DD is doing in the playgroup and gotten those funny blank face reactions from people so I thought maybe I should explore that area and be aware.

Like PP posters say. I wouldn't correct DD directly, I'd probably encourage her for her effort and then maybe casually tell her something like oh look b-u-s is bus. We see this a lot with puzzles. She LOVES jigsaw puzzles but doesn't have the fine motor skills to do them herself. So I ask her where the pieces go and she tells me. Many times it's right but if she asks me to put them in the wrong spot I do and she almost always says "no" and then tells me somewhere else to put them.

As for the time on starfall. Not too much but I get bored with it quickly! Especially since she always has an overwhelming urge to bang on my computer as hard as she can when she plays...

I'm not sure about the pretend play either? I think I read somewhere that on average kids start between 15-18 months. DD started at 8/9 months so I just tend to keep my mouth shut about it (except for in very general terms). Or I might say, yeah, she really likes XYZ but not go into detail with how she plays with it, for instance.

How much time to allot for playing on the computer really is up to the individual. DD started early on the computer and before long was independent on the computer. She had starfall and pbs bookmarked and had no problem getting into the sites. She could also spend a good hour if not more on it. It really got ridiculous and I was ready to pull out an egg timer to shorten her time when her interests shifted and now she hardly ever gets on the computer. I, personally, think when she was barely 2 there wasn't much she could do on her own and the computer gave her that independence, but as she got closer to three she was finding out she could do more and more and this shifted her interests.

Some people would argue the potential damage of allowing such a young child on a computer period, let alone leaving them to navigate through the system by themselves and for longer than 10 to 20 minutes. We saw no issues from her using it. She definitely fine tuned her motor skills.

Thank-you for the response.... I figure there will be alot of differences of opinion. I know its ultimately up to me and my family for what works...but I was curious and its nice to have a side from someone who 'went for it'.... I really want to just follow her lead and it is not text book by anymeans. I think there should be a book for working with advanced toddlers or something. Stories from parents and how they survived and thrived including such things as toys that they are interested in but will not choke on. My DD does not put things in her mouth except to irritate me...but that still means she puts things in her mouth.... The computer is a bit big.... The toys that she is interested often have small parts and so I don't feel comfortable being completely oblivious to what she is doing with them. I think the book could include the feelings that go along with watching your child do something that they are not suppose to be doing by a long shot...both the wow cool and the ohh my and the what does this mean...how do we handle this... did I really see what I thought I just saw...Maybe there is a book already out there but if not someone on this board should collect stories and do it! An anthology.... ahh I am off point.

I am glad to hear that you had no bad reprecussions...How did you keep your work safe on the computer...Like accidently slips into files that should not be changed? What mouse did you use? My DD is getting more and more independent and some motor skill development would be great to have along with the phonics stuff. I have looked on the pbs and not sure what you are referring I keep getting just like links to various things...thanks

haha ... off point is my specialty.

As for your questions:

http://pbskids.org/ is the site I was referring to. There are a few for pbs but some are pay for sites. This one is free.

Concerns about getting into my files: I'm lucky in that my DH is a programmer and works for a microprocessing company which means we have tons of computers in this house. When DD started to show interest in the computer; DH set up a separate computer in the living room for her. I'm sure computers will be a major part of DD's life but we concluded a long time ago that she will never have one in her room. And we are advanced in the technology industry and know how to lock things down and eliminate most of the dangers but even then we won't allow a computer in her bedroom. (See ... told you ... queen of off point!)

Mouse: She started with a smaller laptop model which fits their hands a lot better than the big desktop kind, but now she has a big wireless one and has no problems using it. Some people use trackballs for the young ones to start with but having used both types myself, I find track balls to be a mirror of mouses and you have to retrain your hand when using the mouse.