JJsMom -- I love finding out how non-unique I am (except I can't read music...) The other day a friend of mine complemented me and I said "Thank you," in a kind of brusque way, because what the heck do you do with complements, and he said "Well, it's true," and I said "Thank you," probably even more rudely, because it's all I can do... Like, come on, you know I can't take a complement. I'm being as civil as I can about it...
I guess it's because I only feel like I deserve it if it's something that I had to work hard at?
Cat -- Thanks for reminding me that a lot of this is the parent's issue. And, in the scholastic world, a lot of it is "the system". I find myself doing things re my dd just to follow the status quo and then I realize, "Wait, thisis dumb. I know this is dumb. She doesn't like it, I don't have to do it, so we're stopping now." But, it doesn't just apply to the "system" but to our own personality/parenting styles.