Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school "She's very young. She's really young."

At first read, I thought you were saying that she should have been skipped later, but on second reading, I think you are saying that a skip, in addition to her early entrance, would have staved off the school problems. Is that right?

I was curious if anyone skipped or early entranced, and thought that their child needed it, but wished that they could have had the skip later instead of earlier. Just curious.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

yes, that's an interesting question Grinity, I'd love to hear any responses on that.

I had the funniest chat with another Mom at a preschool birthday party that dd3 attended the other night. There is a boy who just literally has been 'in like' with dd since she walked into the classroom on the first day, he is sooo sweet and funny and nice and forthright that the fact that he has attached himself this way is not the least bit bothersome. He is just so cute. Day 1 when I picked up dd, he is holding her arm and saying he really likes her and wants to know (from me) if she likes him.

Anyway, of course his mom has been getting an earful about dd from him, lol!, and when she met me we just had to laugh about the whole thing.
She asked me why I picked the school and I explained how I appreciated that they would at least leave a bit of a possibility of early admittance to k open for dd (and that I think she's really smart, from what I can tell). The other mom asked a ton of questions about how is that done, does K cost more, her ds4 is already ready for k in a lot of ways (and he would only be about 2 weeks 'extra early'). She knew our county wouldn't accept any child before age 5 to k, and so on, so I knew she'd been looking into it already. Well I was happy to fill her in on the little I knew on the subject, and we agreed it would be really nice if they could do this together! It is a long shot for dd, much more so than for her own son; it would be really nice for them both to have a familiar face...
And I do think this boy is really very smart too, after speaking with this mom, and getting a chance to check out the kids running around, it seemed to me that out of the 15 or so kids at this party just a very few had this same serious 'spark' that I am used to from dd; maybe it is just 'outgoing' personality vs. introvert, but there seems to be more to it.
In any case, dd and her ds seem like kindred spirits, so that, in and of itself is cool.

Hey Grinity,

You probably know our story by now so I wont rehash it but... here's what I've come to appreciate:

* grade skipping has been better for us to do in the early years. Yes, there's some "HOW old is she?" stuff to deal with, but it's all pretty minor. If your child can already read, sitting through a letter a week in kindy/pre-primary/year 1 is pretty torturous.

* grade skipping is pretty treacherous in the tween/upper primary years because of socialisation/sexualisation issues. It was hard for DD 8 to have any street cred among 10-13 year olds when she wasn't allowed to watch M rated movies, watch video hits and generally wasn't up with all the latest goss on TV shows.

So... I reckon skip early during lower primary and then find an alternate path later on (sideways moves, homeschooling, etc.) The caveat to all this though is that I now have come to believe that early entry isn't preferable. All things being perfect, I now appreciate that it may be best to delay entry to school as long as possible...

jojo

Yup - DS13 got a skip during 5th to 6th and it was a lifesaver. Now DS13 is in High School (9th grade) and I'm seriously looking for a way for him to do 9th grade again next year. He really needs that extra years worth of growth now that the grades here in the US are so 'high stakes' - not sure how I'll figure it out, but I have a few ideas. My poor DH can barely keep up!

Grinity

So, are you saying that in hindsight you wish that you had found some other solution to the problems in 5th grade, other than acceleration?

No, I don't regret grade-skipping at all even though we've had to find alternative solutions higher up the ladder. For me, it's important just to find a solution to the here and now and then worry about next year/term when it arrives!!!!!! jojo

I'm pretty sure that all of us could imagine 'better/other' solutions - I would have loved for my son to have the option of a school for PG kids so that he could be with children his own age and readiness level. Unfortunately, the nearest 'gifted' school was 1 hour from our home. Working full time I just didn't feel like I had it to give. I also wish the imaginary nearby school was affordable, and could have started in 1st grade.

I would also have loved to be able to homeschool, or have a local coop that 'got' gifted kids. I wish that I lived near family members who were willing to homeschool my son while I worked.

In hindsight, I wish I had had more of a sense of who I am as a gifted person when I was choosing career path and where to live so that my son wouldn't have been so much of an outlier in our local public school system. LOL@me! But then, I wouldn't be here!

I looked and looked for other solutions to my son's situation, and the acceleration was definitly the 'least worst' option at the time. I don't regret it for a moment. There was no other way given the resources we had.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Well, had a couple of good/quick chats with the teachers in dd3's classroom. I just took a moment to ask one of them about the idea of dd going to K in the fall, and that I had spoken with the director about considering the matter. I didn't want the director to just ask them out of the blue, I wanted the teachers to have a chance to form an opinion (one way or the other). Teacher 1 seemed ok with the idea, but I think it surprised her a bit so we'll see. I just asked her to observe dd and let me and/or the director know what she thought later in the spring.
When I was picking up dd later that week, teacher 2 was there and complimenting dd on all the things she knows, colors, numbers, letters, etc., and I just figured I would ask if she'd chatted with the other teacher about considering dd for k in the fall. She sounded very enthusiastic once the idea was explained; she said above all, socially dd seems very very confident and ready, so that was good to hear. I know that 'social' aspect can be a big hindrance in a lot of people's minds and can be rather subjective.

Anyway, the more 'traditional' one of the two seemed less enthusiastic, but in the end it sounds like it is probably up to me to just say 'try it'... very interesting!

So OF COURSE the second I have any kind of hopeful feeling about this whole thing, the director shuts me down.
This morning, like clockwork, she tells me dd is just too young. I asked if she talked to the teachers for Paja, she said she talked to the kindergarten teacher. I asked if the K teacher talked to dd. She said no but the teacher just can't have a 3 year old in Kindergarten. (She would be 4.5)

You don't even know how old my dd is and you are telling me she's too young?
And what age did you tell the k teacher she was?

So, anyway, I left the building rather than start freaking out, and called back a bit later to arrange a more formal discussion. She is pretty nice but I am sorely disappointed; being not really sure how much dd needs this makes is harder, for sure.
I just don't know; when it was just going to be an easy trial period of a few weeks I figured it was definitely worth giving it a go. (Now I don't even want to keep her there if that is their attitude - it's just a bad way to look at kids, imo. )

Things I am going to ask about -
when was the age policy created, because I asked about it specifically when we reviewed the school.
what is the curriculum for K vs. Preschool 2
what can they do for dd if she is (wildly) bored in preschool

and, just maybe, I'll ask who I can contact at the HQ to discuss this.

please let me know if anyone else has ideas on this one...
thanks