Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums THINKING BIG About Gifted Education A warning from a gifted adult.

Agreed.



And agreed.

I am a Mensan and I am a secretary. I love my job and I have enjoyed the experiences I've had in Mensa.

I don't know the basis on which you rest your claims about "most" Mensans; it is downright impossible for you to know "most" Mensans to any degree, much less thoroughly enough to pass such judgment.

But I understand that you must have been having a rough day and needed to vent. I sympathize with the challenges you've faced in the past and those that you have not yet met. Perhaps you need to spend a little time gaining perspective and developing compassion, though. College students have endless opportunities for volunteering; I suggest you look beyond yourself for a chance to make a lasting, positive difference in the lives of people who have suffered far more than you have.

Ach

Many of us here have experienced much of what you are going through. My line has always been that it's so not about getting into Harvard, it's about not becoming the unabomber.Hang in there. One good thing is that as you continue in academia there will be more and more smart people. Not, however, a majority!

It's probably fair to guess (code for, I can't be bothered to try to look it up right now) that most PG children have at least one PG parent, so yeah, many of us have BTDTGTTS. At 22 (and indeed for many years beyond that) I too thought I'd never have kids, because my life had not been one I'd want to give someone else, and I didn't know how to give a child something better. I think I do now, and I dare to claim that my DS is in a better path. Don't give up.

I'm far from PG, yet I face the same challenges with the general population daily. And at 15, I went through many of the same thoughts as you are. Now at just a tad under 40, I still have my moments, but learning about myself through parenting my HG DS and keeping him on a path to succeed has been the best gift anyone could've given to me. What doesn't challenge me in the workforce or the "real" world is made up for with all the challenges that come with raising children in general, but especially one that is gifted. Sure DS will face the issues I have, but he will go about them with full knowledge of himself and learn to rise above and become successful both academically and socially.

The road of life is not easy for anyone, but moreso for those on one or the other side of the "IQ" spectrum (for lack of a better description). But it doesn't make it worth the ride.

You are young (yes, I am sure you are tired of hearing that), but maybe you will bless this world with another gifty from your gene pool.

How horribly dissolusioned you sound! I'm sorry for that and the pain in which you have lived. For you I wish peace. I hope that through your struggles, you one day find freedom. I believe that true happiness can come only after feeling the depth of dispair. I'll hope for you that at the end of your journey you are rewarded with the peace, happiness, and freedom to be who you are.

Thank you for all your insight. What you have to say has immeasurable value!

Crazy Daisy

Ach, I am wondering if you could tell us a little bit about your path through school: what worked for you, what didn't? Since you had IQ testing, I'm guessing that your parents were aware of your high abilities -- did they try to "ajust" the system to fit you, were they unsure of what you needed, or were they unwilling or unable to make changes? Did you have any acclerations in school or situations that did meet your social and educational needs? What do you think would have make your growing-up experiences better?

I think we are all here trying to give our kids the chance to be challenged in work, comfortable in society, happy with themselves, and compassionate about others. Sometimes that takes a lot of work, and I'm curious if you could give us insight into what you, so recently having gone through growing into adulthood, think would help our kids.

I'm sorry but it sounds as if you are one of many excuse makers I encounter. Are you taking the time to get to know people? I mean on more than a surface level. I work with special needs students some with a 40 IQ. everyday they show me a new and interesting way to look at the world. Yes they are frustrating at times as are all people. I always ask them to make the best use of what every abilities they have. That is all that can be asked of anyone. Learning that social interaction is a matter of give and take is vital. You may want to look at the multiple intelligences, I am sure there are areas in which you display deficits, as there are for all of us.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

Granted, there's it's a little ironic to warn parents against raising a bitter child by doing XYZ in terms which seem pretty bitter, given the ACh feels he's avoided that outcome.

However, I think it's a mistake to lecture too much on the hubris of calling people morons. ACh is expressing his frustrations, from his perspective, and warning parents that their kids may experience the same.

Working (or learning) with people who can't see nuance, who expect everyone to think the same or who cannot see the glaring fault in a given strategy is frustrating for anyone. Repeat that experience and multiply it ten-fold and you can relate to ACh's experience.

Telling him he shouldn't feel a certain ways is no answer to his warning that our own kids may feel that way regardless of our views on how things 'should be'.

ACh -

I am curious to hear your thoughts on the responses you have gotten so far.

- EW

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I hope as you move into graduate school and adult life that you find ways to connect with people you have more in common with. I encourage you to continue to keep an eye on your depression and make sure it is properly treated.

I believe your experience represents a true and not uncommon experience with being PG. Fortunately though it is not the only one. There absolutely are PG kids who are quite happy. I'm the parent of one of them. I believe what parents do makes a significant difference. While we don't have control over our kid's IQ, we do have the opportunity to make a big difference in their experiences by doing things such as:
learning about the social and emotional needs of gifted kids
making carefully considered discipline and lifestyle choices
considering educational alternatives including homeschooling, grade skipping and early college
listening to our kids and being their sounding board and advocate
paying attention to mental health concerns

Parents should be hopeful. The fact that they've made it to this list already suggests they are on the right track.