Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Should I have her tested

Hi,

Welcome, your daughter has some things in common with my DD who just turned four this month. I had her tested at 3.4 and she was in the gifted range, but since she was so young, we may do it again down the line.

We actually wondered about Asbergers or sensory issues, but those things came back negative and it seems her sassy attitude, intensity, hyper energy etc. has other causes. She likes to take over in her classroom and will approach a group of ten adults and march over and speak to them as though she is one of them.

Things that I am doing that may or may not be helping include giving her fish oil for emotional balance, and trying to use some techniques from the Nurtured Heart Approach as well as the Kazden Method. Both approaches are geared towards positive reinforcement.

If you don't mind me asking, did she have any Asbergers traits? My DD has a freakishly good memory for facts, doen't like change in her routine, has huge tantrums, and doesn't seem to get some social cues, but the other children love her and she has a very vivid imagination.

What will you do if you find out she is gifted?

Best of luck!

Hi Grinity! I do see what you mean, it's entirely possible that she would in fact understand Harry Potter. She understands complex, abstract concepts and can apply them appropriately in conversations. I guess maybe it's just that I don't want her to grow up too fast...my husband and I had to. We certainly don't want to baby her either, which I don't feel we do.

She goes from being very child-like to being very adult-like and this can happen in the span of what seems like 2 seconds. She'll watch an "On Demand" show in Hebrew, French, German, etc. with subtitles yet will thoroughly enjoy Blue's Clues.

Your advice is invaluable, thank you. Though giftedness is not necessarily new to me...having what appears to be a gifted child is.

Thanks again! :o)

Azuil

Hi TwinkleToes! Thank you so much for your response. She did get tested for Aspergers and it came back insignificant. She used to line things up in a very orderly fasion, and once in a while will still do that but she is very perceptive of social cues, when you're kidding, etc. A girl in her classroom whom she does not get along with came to her one morning and told her that another girl in the class wasn't going to be there...my daughter looked at her and said, "does that mean you'll be nice to me today?" That threw me for a loop.

She used to play more on her own when she was a young 3, lined toys up and did not like her routine being changed. It has occurred to me that I think she gets very intent on what she's doing and dislikes interruption. I stated on another thread I think that she actually called her teacher a "bad teacher" to her face and when I asked her why she said it, it was because she interrupted her, so she still really dislikes having to adhere to a strict schedule.

She does have a phenominal, scary memory...her direction sense is uncanny as she can tell you how to get home or go to a place once or twice and tell you where to turn when you go back.

Using a digital clock has really helped our daughter. She's been able to read one since 2. It helps her transition though she has really improved on being able to do that unless she's on the computer playing games...well then the sassy behavior begins. More arguments are avoided by utilizing the clock.

Our daughter's do sound very familiar. Her behaviors have gotten better. One of the most frustrating things for me however is that she is so sensitive to the behavior of others that in one day she can regress a good years worth! Put her in a room with adults or older children and she is stellar! Put her in a room with kids her own age and chaos ensues! Sometimes I feel so, well I guess defeated in the sense that I see her regress to such a degree and it takes me forever to get her back on track at times depending on the situation.

Wow I can talk! Anyway thank you for your resonse...I wish you the best!

Hi,

Clocks and timers have been helpful for us too since the "authority" is a third party in a sense. My DD often acts like a spastic two year old around kids her age and younger. She gets overly excited and then can spin out of control. She doesn't hurt anyone, just gets too loud, too rambunctious, etc. When I said she didn't get social cues, it was more that she would come on too strong and not back off when it was clear that she was over-stepping bounds. She also can be too touchy and not understand that other children may need space. She is better around older kids and adults. We met a nice 6 year old at the library yesterday and the older girl showed her a computer game and it was so nice to see how she interacted with her. We just don't know many kids who are older than she is. Does your DD have very many regular playmates? My DD is very extroverted and theatrical, and most of her alone play involves acting out scenarios and making up stories.

Wow are we talking about the same kid here? Holy cannoli! Seriously this sounds EXACTLY like my daughter at that age. She's almost 5 now and she is understanding more about boundaries though she still gets too excited and wild-like. When she's around older kids and adults she's not like that at all unless they start getting that way with her. It's as if she has no idea what to do with kids her own age...honestly I think she's trying to do what she "thinks" she's supposed to do with them, and when they finally decide to stop being "wild" she can't quite get out of that mode.

The more mature the child is, the more mature she is. We met a 2 yr. old actually a little while back who was exceptionally mature for such a young age...obviously very bright like his mother and she got along beautifully with him...course he did pretty much whatever he told him to do so yes that was in her favor LOL.

My DD has playmates though I wouldn't call them regular...I'd like them to be more regular. I belong to a Mom's group and we meet up quite often actually. She is also very extroverted and theatrical...same as your DD...I'm amazed at how parallel their little lives are.

We're in Chicagoland! My ds-now-8 tested with Elizabeth Mika in Gurnee when he was 5, and she was phenomenal. The price was right, too -- she charged (at that time) $500 for both IQ and achievement testing.

HTH!

Thank you so much Mia...I truly appreciate it! I have emailed Elizabeth so hopefully I will hear something soon.

Have a great night!

Azuil

This board has been a comfort to me because it our real life, I haven't met anyone with a similar child, but on this board, plenty of children have similar traits. I feel bad that I thought something was wrong with her at some points and the more we look, the more it seems it just has to do with her being gifted and sensitive. She doesn't have a single playmate that she can connect with beyond the super-silly-spastic thing she can do around kids her age. I wish she had a child who she could connect with on her level of imagination and language. She also knows not to speak to kids her age about certain topics or to use more advanced language. This has been frustrating for her her whole life I imagine. The one difference between our girls is she was an early talker with language so clear at times I literally thought I was imagining things because she sounded so "adult." She repeated words like kicking, tweezers, water, etc. at nine or ten months in a clear voice. SCARY, but there are kids on here who did more earlier. That actually normalizes things for me. What are your DDs gross motor skills like and what are your plans for K?

Hi TwinkleToes...I've only been on this board a short time but I've really learned a lot not only about my DD but honestly, about myself LOL. I knew I was labeled gifted in music and athletics, but I never realized that my own "oversensitivities" were "normal" I guess for gifted kids. I always thought I was nuts. Ok well I am in a way but hey...I celebrate my wierdness. :o)

Anyway her gross motor skills are good...early on she rolled over at 8 weeks and sat up on her own at 5 months. Around 8-9 months she was starting to stand up but she decided she didn't want to walk and began crawling at 10 months. She would walk however around tables but wouldn't let go till one day in Texas we were visiting my best friend and she has an older daughter who was running around so my DD I guess decided this was a good time to do so. She finally walked and started running practically LOL. She climbs very well too.

Her fine motor skills however are not as easy for her. She can write but it has taken some time to get her comfortable with the idea. I would say fine motor skills are more of a weakness for her though I wouldn't say substantially so...enough to warrant any kind of assistance. Her speech was interesting in that I swore at 10 months of age I heard her say airplane and she never said it again. She really didn't say much until just at 2 but I had already signed her up for speech therapy...she was just starting to say words. She probably would've been fine, part of me thinks she just didn't want to because I wanted her to...which is certainly a big part of her personality to date!

As far as Kindergarten...I wish I had the funds to put her in Montessori or some other private school though we do live in a town where the public schools are top notch. I'm frustrated however with the fact that Kindergarten is only 2 1/2 hours a day, which to me is a waste of time.

What are your plans for Kindergarten?

Though I really want to have her tested...paying $500 just isn't possible for us. I can only hope that she gets her needs met in the schools. I will no doubt advocate I assure you...just frustrated that I am unable to make it happen.