Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums 2 yrs 8 mnths reading sentences should I encourage

To me... "encouraging" means showing her how to decode words or how to blend... either verbally or using something like a chalk board. When my DD was 2 I knew that all I had to do was show it to her and she'd have understood. I didn't. I was too worried about the whole "hothousing" issue. I read to her and would tell her what a word was if she asked but I didn't do anything else. I waited until she figured it out for herself... or in her case... watched a Leap Frog video and was shown from that. The first time she was shown how to blend from the video.. the light bulb went off and she took off from there.

What that told me was that if they're ready to learn... they're ready to learn... regardless of their age. I "discouraged" her by deliberately not showing her although I knew she would grasp it easily. If I had shown her... then she would have been reading at a higher level much earlier. Would it have mattered in the long run? No. But it would have mattered to her and it would have put a stop to all the frustration she experienced because she wanted to be able to read everything. Once she grasped the concept of blending it's like her soul was lit up (forgive the cheesy line) and she gobbled up anything I could tell her or show her.

Is it teaching? Yes but only in the sense of everyday teaching such as "Look Honey, that's a dog. Dogs bark to say hello."

but instead its...

"That's the word CAT. You say the sound the letters make to read it. Kuh-a-t. Now put an H in front and it says huh-a-t HAT"

I think I was silly not to have shown her. It wouldn't have hurt her.

I have come to believe... that in some cases... teaching reading or math or any other academic subject is no different than teaching a kid about butterflies because they have an interest in it.

(As long as they are totally into it of course!)

The way I look at it (the way I did look at it when my DS was that age, and the way I still look at it with hindsight) is this. If she were going to school in a few months from now, then maybe, by not encouraging her (e.g., by not having time to listen to her read and help her with words she's stuck on) you might be able to stop her being able to read fluently before she starts school. And there might be some advantage to doing that: you might save her a little boredom that way. There'd also be disadvantage to it of course, and I don't know how it'd balance. However, you're not in that situation. She's 2 and reading sentences: whatever you do, short of locking in her a cupboard for the next three years with no written words, she's going to be reading fluently before she starts school. So whatever you do, she's going to need accommodations when she starts school, or she's going to be bored. Once you're in that state, there's nothing to be gained from not encouraging her (although the *dis*advantages of that course are still in place). On top of that, if a child is going to need accommodations, there's a lot to be said for the child *obviously* needing accommodations - it can be easier for a school to see that they have to do something for a child who's reading chapter books when they start school, than that they have to do something for a child who's reading picture books.

Of course, you still have to be careful that you don't go beyond encouraging in the sense of following her lead! It can be tricky, really, to know what's optimal. (In the context of another thread I found myself thinking that the conjugation is "I encourage, you push, he/she/it hothouses"!) What I felt comfortable with with my DS was (a) buying reading scheme books (because they are fully decodable, unlike picture books) which (b) were only ever read by DS (not read to him by anyone else) and (c) allowing reading and looking at books in bed at night.

Your daughter is giving you the opportunity to learn some lessons many parents don't fully understand until their kids are teenagers or adults. The first is that we actually have very little control. It is easy during the toddler and preschooler years to think you have a lot more control over your child and her universe than you ultimately really do. Parents can try to make the athlete the scholar or the mathematician the actor, but it rarely works for long. Your daughter is demonstrating that she's developing just fine. It isn't your job to control that.

The second possible lesson is that our fears can really get in the way of enjoying our kids and developing strong relationships with them. That fear comes out of love and a desire to protect, but that makes it no less damaging.

I encourage you to approach her development with an open mind. This may not be the kid you expected and she may surprise you. But, something being different from what we expected doesn't mean it is bad. I too was where you were years ago. I felt terrified about grade skipping. I feel glad I tried to shed that fear and really look at it with an open mind because it was the road to having a happy, well adjusted kid.

I would strongly suggest you get a copy of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-Gifted-Children/dp/0910707529/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

I could have written this!!!

and this... practically every week I feel this way ...

For DD, this would have been the kiss of death at 2. If I showed her how to do something, she wanted no more of it. She loved to teach herself. And I'm glad she did, because she had an unusual path to reading, as is often the case for gifted early readers, and I'm sure that if I'd tried to teach her she wouldn't have learned as well. I think that if a child is smart and driven and ready to learn to read at 2, he or she is smart and driven and ready to do it without lessons. And lessons can only get in the way.



I think there is a difference between teaching a skill and teaching (talking about) facts. I think teaching a child to read is perhaps more like teaching a baby to walk. Sure, a baby needs support and encouragement. But will he learn to walk sooner if you pick up his feet and show him exactly where to put them? And if he does, what have you gained? I just see no point in this sort of thing absent a disability (in which case explicit lessons can be crucial). Why teach a child what the child will teach herself?



I'm not so sure of this. I think early readers often progress at very asynchronous rates. While my DD read sentences first at 2 and was fluent before 3 1/2, it was not a smooth process. It took almost a year for her to progress from reading (hundreds of) sight words to sounding words out and I can imagine that it could have taken much longer. Then she progressed very rapidly for a while, but she was absolutely in love with reading at that time. It all depends on her continued interest, after all.

Brilliant. I agree completely. And I think this works both in terms of holding back a child who is ready to progress AND in the sense of hothousing a child who is not driving the learning process. Both say to a child "What you are is not right. Change."

If you don't accept a child, accept that the skills s/he wants to learn--whatever those are--are right for that child, you are teaching that child something alright, but it's not a healthy lesson!

Hi Gargi,

My best thought is to not even think about school right now. Get her the Bob books or whatever she wants.
Ask her: What would you like to read, do, go, learn today. Let her lead with her interests and you'll have a happy kid.

I would consider skipping pre-school, or at least the one of the years of pre-school. Your time might be better spent going on field trips together and enjoying each others company.

My girls are 7 and 10 right now and trust me, the time goes by so fast!!

Your daughter sounds like a joy. Kids this intelligent can be very draining to their parents, so make sure you take care of yourself.

Neato

Welcome to the gifted world.

(Hope I'm not repeating someone else's post.)

Do stop by (google for it) Hoagies which has lots of articles on giftedness. There are also lots of articles here at the Davidson website. Later on, I'm sure you'll enjoy reading the articles at SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted)

Whatever you thought a child of 2, 3, 4, 5 , etc etc should be like -- or what is "normal" can now be tossed out the window. Your child is normal in the context of other gifted kids -- and even this group has a lot of variations.

While she is young, read and read, so you'll be more prepared to understand her, when she is sad, frustrated, or happy, and more prepared to consider her pre-school and school.

Prepare yourself, emotionally, mentally, ... come here and post often and vent, if need to. The internet is great, you're not isolated and can get help and knowledge easily. Knowledge about gifted children will help you help your daughter.

Your concern re: her not skipping grades is just your current/immediate thought. You may re-consider quite a lot of things in the next 3-6 months.

Do post on this discussion board as I've always found this place to be a very supportive place.

Best wishes.

gargi,

Awesome job following your child's lead! YOU are doing a great job!!!

My dd started reading about the same age. I remember trying to divert her interest with ASL and plant identification ( we would go on long walks and id plants with latin names). I thought it would slow her reading down a tad. I don't know if my efforts "helped", at 7 she is easily 8+ grades ahead of her age peers.

Please keep us posted! It helps us folks with older kids too.

Chrys

Thanks to all of you for so much support and all the answers I am reading all the comments in depth. I needed these opinions, if I even tried to speak with other parents or even as much mentioned that my child can read at 2 years they would think or say I am hot housing her ! This is the only forum which can undersand and advice . I will keep you all posted about how she is doing from time to time.

I may not post in other forums but will be reading all your posts I am new to this there is a lot to learn for me !