Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment processing speed question - what if high?

Yup. Barely there is still there. Especially since she's functioning 4 grades ahead, she's clearly a good candidate.



I understand how nervous you are about school for her. It's scary. But trust that you will find the way. Have you read the "Least-Worst" article on Hoagies yet? I highly recommend it. I go back and re-read it every time we have to make a choice about school. http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/least-worst.htm

I'd also suggest that you recognize now that even an educational solution that seems PERFECT may outlive its usefulness pretty quickly. 6 months to a year is a pretty normal life cycle, and that's disconcerting at first. ("Didn't we just go through all this last year? Gah!") More flexibility in the situation can extend that time. You might be one of the lucky ones who finds an educational solution that just works long-term, but most HG+ kids bring at least some head-scratching every year, even if the choice is ultimately not to make major changes. You get used to it. Honest.

Also, be assured that as long as you're doing the best you can do for your child, it will be okay. You will make it work eventually, and kids are resiliant. Try not to feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It's hard not to, but try not. You will find a solution that works.

Good article, Kriston, thank you.
What makes this even harder is that the older DD is already DYS but nothing is a perfect fit for her at school, either, so I feel like my head is going to split in two trying to think about two very different kids, two different schools, yikes.

You are right, it really will work out as long as they are loved and we are trying to make schooling appropriate.

I think the perfectionism apple doesn't fall far from the parental perfectionism tree. We have to learn to let that go. I'm still working on it.

I sympathize with feeling like you can't do this for your 2nd child, too. We finally got to the point that things are really pretty easy with DS8. Homeschooling is clicking along well. He's got a part-time school-for-homeschoolers that suits him beautifully. He's happy, he's well-placed, he's got good friends he sees often. All is well...and along comes DS5, who was supposed to be my easy one! Making the decision about what to do with him next year is even harder than it was when we had our hardest year with DS8. I didn't think that was possible!

The things I have going for me now are experience and confidence. I think you should take advantage of those, too. You know a lot. You've been in the trenches. Trust your gut.

Wow, your DS8's situation sounds really wonderful. I don't think we have anything like that here. Good luck with DS5, I know how you feel!

I think we're really lucky. But even with basically free reign because of homeschooling, it took us 2 or 3 years to figure it all out.

And even then, when we started discussing whether to keep DS5 in public school or to homeschool him and send him to the s-f-hsers as many as 4 days per week, DS8 suddenly decided that maybe he wanted to take more classes there, too. Of course, to get his academic needs met, he'd have to be in the algebra class with 13+yos, among other complications.

*sigh*

We're working it out. It's a never-ending process.

Lovely! Nice to have some anwsers. I think this puts the 'maybe she just looks gifted due to super high processing speed' worry to rest.

I don't have any IQ score myself, but seem to resonate with the 'very high processing speed plus bottle neck working memory.'

I'm wondering what your DD's working memory score is like., and if you see it in 'real life.'

For example, my son and DH can 'see' 3 digit numbers in their head, as if on a blackboard, while my mind's eye gives my giant 'forest' insights in a flash, but doesn't say much about the trees. I believe that this relates to my lack of spelling ability - one of the basic techniques of teaching spelling is to close one's eyes and visualize the word. I do fine with 4 letter words, but basically can't 'see' more than that.

Another way it affects me is that sometimes my best advice posts are totally unconscious. I think about something to write about and tell my story and then I see the connection and 'so impress myself.'

so I'm curious if what your DD's working memory scores are like.

Smiles,
Grinity

I will tell you when I get them. I looked at the scores today but don't have the report. I remember a few of them, but not that one, I am curious, too! She is a terrific speller, so it will be interesting given your example.

So where does this leave you now, aside from the DYS application? Are there other specific issues? What's your next step for school? With what can we help you?

I'm not sure, thank you so much.

She is grade skipped one grade and I have been told that next year all differentiation will happen in the room, with no "pull out" program. I am going to demand that she be given appropriate work. I am skeptical that she won't just be sitting in the corner reading a book for her differentiation, without real instruction at her level, but maybe I should try it.

The psychologist today said that maybe she could do online or homeschool for academics but then go to school for PE, art, etc. That sounds wild and wacky - because inevitably she will miss something fun here and there and be annoyed. She did make friends this year, so going to school is something I'd hope we could continue. But, each day, ever since probably November or Dec, she insists that she is learning nothing and is bored and doesn't want to go, except to see her friends. I can't decide when homeschooling might come into play, I hate to take her away from these nice kids. She is getting pulled out now for a few minutes of enrichment a few times a week, but it isn't enough, obviously.
Ugh.

My recommendation: don't rule anything out without looking into it. More options are better for you than fewer at this point. Learn about everything you could conceivably do. Keep a running list of pros and cons. But don't reject anything completely. DS8 has been out of the public school for the better part of 3 school years, but we still consider public school every time we rethink what to do with DS8 for school. Why limit yourself?

Advocating with the school to make things work for your DD is certainly the place to start. No question!

But do know that you don't have to limit yourself to that one choice right now. More options--even if you choose not to take them--will help you feel better about the school if you stay there and will help you to feel less powerless while advocating. You're in the research phase.

A number of kids here do an online, independent study sort of thing at the back of the class for some subjects. I suspect others can address this better than I, but it is a pretty standard form of differentiation that can work well.

I know a couple people for whom partial homeschooling (pulling the child out for an hour or two during the day) is a good solution. See what's involved. The drawback is that your DD might be "neither fish nor fowl," not really fitting 100% in either the homeschooling community or the school. That depends upon how much time she's gone and how big a deal it is to her friends. But it can solve both the academic fit and the social setting, especially if the school and the teacher like the idea. They can make sure she's present for parties, special activities and fun stuff...or if they want to sink things, they can make sure that she misses them all! Communication with the school and the teacher are vital.

As for full-time homeschooling and friends: realize that school friendships can be continued through playdates. Also, though it wouldn't involve those same kids she's with now, your kids would almost certainly make friends in the homeschooling community, too. No pressure, but before you worry about the social, I'd suggest researching what is available socially for homeschoolers in your area. Remember that every homeschooler is in the same boat socially, and as a result, they get together often. That part's not as hard as you might think.

Finally, know that there may also be other options available that you don't even know about now. We didn't know the school-for-homeschoolers even existed 3 years ago.

I ask practically everyone I meet, especially people with gifted kids or some special needs, about their school situation and how they feel about it to try to find out those schools and resources that I don't yet know about. 99% of it I'll probably never use, but knowing that I have some aces up my sleeve if circumstances shift is really reassuring.

I'm babbling, but hopefully there's something useful there.