Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums THINKING BIG About Gifted Education Non-success stories.

After two years in schools with gifted education ( differentiation and enrichment for the first school, which was code for "we do nothing", and "self - contained" - don't you love that label?... for the second year) we finally found a wonderful performing arts charter school where our son is thriving. No matter what the label that gets stuck on your child or how good the program is touted to you as parents, nothing matters unless the school puts your child's success at a premium, doesn't treat your child like a number, respects you as parents who know your child better than anyone (yes, Mr. Psychologist, I DO see my child differently than other people....I'm his mother!) AND if the schools don't take FAPE (free and appropriate public school education) seriously as in the letter of the law, it won't matter where your child goes to school. Gifted education was not the answer everyone starting from 4th grade at Montessori proclaimed it to be. Only you as parents will know the right fit. Or, as Joni Mitchell once sang, "people will tell you where they've been, they'll tell you where to go, but till you get there yourself....you'll never really know".

There are plenty of good schools that don't work for some good kids. Glad you found a school that works for your son Sonora!

Grinity

With both my dd's I wished I would have skipped kindergarten alltogether and just had each go directly to 1st grade, sort of did that with my older one by putting her in K halfway through the year.

Like many people, our primary "nonsuccess" was with trying a differentiated program for DS's first semester of kindergarten.
We truly believe that acceleration would also have been a nonsuccess, though, and here's why....

Background: In the first week of K, the school asked to give him placement tests and evaluated him at 3rd grade LA/spelling, 4th grade reading, and 2nd grade math. However, he has a summer birthday and was still "5" for handwriting and gross motor. (They also made a big deal about the fact that he didn't know "phonics" because he was a whole-language reader. That was a laugh since he tested at grade 8.9 in national placement ranking when he took a standardized reading comp. test in May.)
Anyhow, the principal suggested we place him in a 1st/2nd grade "combo" class for accelerated learners.

HOWEVER, when I spoke with the 1st/2nd teacher, she told me that she could not move him into other classes for his LA/reading groups because it was logistically too difficult. She said to do this and keep him from missing other subjects, she would have to line her schedule up perfectly with both the 3rd and 4th grade teachers, and there were too many variables that came up to make that work. Even at the start of his K year, beginning 2nd grade work was not going to keep him challenged where he was at.

On the other side, too, she made a point of the fact that his handwriting was still in early-sentence mode, and he was going to get slowed down compared to the rest of the class who could write so much more clearly/faster/more at a time. This was actually true at that point in time, 'though he's caught up to the average 3rd grader in handwriting now that he's 6.

Since we knew this wasn't the right fit, we decided to let him stay in kindergarten while we tried other options. They tried lots of differentiation, but it was far too little and not worth the extra chaos. Luckily for us, we discovered homeschooling, and are now with a fabulous charter who fully supports where he's at. His lowest curriculum is 2.5 grade levels ahead, his highest is middle school, and yet he can participate in activities with other children his age if he wants. We can also keep him enrolled as a 1st grader on paper, which will hopefully allow us to stay with this charter all the way through "8th grade" even though he'll likely finish high school curriculum by then.


I read so many wonderful acceleration stories, yet I have so many questions. I would have to guess that most other YS kids are like mine and don't get nearly enough even by 1 or 2 grades of acceleration. Some schools make pullouts work, but I wonder how they get around the issues our teacher described. Plus, even "new" subjects seem so basic at grade level. (For ex, our certified teacher just pulled out the regular school's geography materials for grades 2-3, and quickly discarded them as too basic for DS, but most people wouldn't do a pullout 3 grade levels higher for geography!) Do the accelerated kids find that some topics are meeting their needs but others just won't be able to? I'm always very supportive of acceleration and like to learn more because we know that we'll have to do that too if we reintegrate again some day.

My DD is not nearly as accelerated (or in need of acceleration) as your son, and we're only a week into the grade skip (1st to 3rd), but it seems like her asynchronicity has helped her find a balance early in the year, but if she has a growth spurt in one of the lagging areas, it makes the end of the year harder.

So for K, she was ideally placed in K - she couldn't read on entry, was young for grade and not socially mature compared to her older classmates, and did not have great gross motor skills. Maybe slightly ahead in math and fine motor, but not so much that she disenjoyed K. She had a huge growth spurt in reading, a slightly smaller one in maturity, and ended K enough ahead that we contemplated acceleration, but decided she didn't need it.

For first, she had an OK placement at the beginning of the year, but had a huge growth spurt in math, gross motor, and maturity, and really started complaining about being bored. Her 1st grade teacher asked us if we thought her placement in first had been a mistake, and it totally wasn't - she needed that year. But really, she mostly needed the first 4-6 months of it.

So far, third seems to be OK. She anticipated being behind in math, but they're starting with such basic review, and she catches on so fast, that I think she's going to start and stay towards the top. Her reading has historically been above her math, but wasn't so much an interest last year - if she has a big reading spurt this year, I could see her being way ahead in reading, although she's high average now. Her fine motor is good enough to keep up with the increased writing load and introduction to cursive. But her writing isn't fast enough that she finishes her work early, so that's the lagging area that's keeping school interesting for her at the moment.

Second would have been a bad placement for her. And fourth would have been an impossible placement for her. Although, having seen how third is starting, I think she might have been able to rise to the occasion and do the work in a 4th grade class, with sufficient support and motivation.

I read so many wonderful acceleration stories, yet I have so many questions. I would have to guess that most other YS kids are like mine and don't get nearly enough even by 1 or 2 grades of acceleration. Some schools make pullouts work, but I wonder how they get around the issues our teacher described. Plus, even "new" subjects seem so basic at grade level.

Yes! I would totally agree with this. DS skipped 1 grade but could easily be skipped again but I don't want to 1) upset other child in that grade 2) make him soo much younger than the others in his public school. I know we need to do something though. He complains about homework because he already learned it in class, etc. His grades are great but he never has to study. It sounds like you found a great fit for your DS, he is very fortunate to have a great program!

As someone who skipped a couple of grades and didn't have to homework, I had the worst study habits and it really caught up with me in college. I could cram for a test and do well but I didn't really learn anything. It was so goal oriented.

Since my DD is small for her age and already one of the youngest in her class, I am using the CTY as a pull out for her math in grade 1.

Every time I hear about girls doing OK socially after a skip, it seems they are tall for their age and or, their birthdays were not so much past the cut-off. DD is already a head shorter than her peer classmates.

I am finding that using a lot of horizontal diversification with Mandarin, science at the museum, sports and pull outs on the math and her teacher lets her read what she wants, that it works for now. But DD is only just 6.

Ren

FWIW, my DD has a May 31 birthday (September 1 cutoff). She was not the youngest in her class before the skip, but was at the young end. Many of her 3rd grade classmates are 18 months older than she is.

She's also about 50th percentile height-for-age. She was very concerned about being the shortest kid in the older grade, but most kids are slowing down some in growth as they hit 8 and 9, so you don't have to be a particularly tall 7yo to avoid being shorter than the smallest 8yo. If your DD is already significantly shorter than her age-mates, she's obviously going to be significantly shorter than kids a year older, but it won't necessarily be as big a difference as you think.

DD doesn't even come up to the shoulder of her (very, very tall-for-age) best friend. She's been just as socially involved (in terms of party invitations and playdates) as a 3rd grader as she was as a 1st grader, and I like her friends better this year than I did last. Her first-grade friends tended to be low-average performers in school. Her third-grade friends are much smarter - they recognize DD as being smart, but not so smart that they feel outclassed, if that makes sense.

I had my concerns at the beginning of the year, but the skip has been a good social move, as well as a good academic move. I'm sure that's not always the case, but I thought it might be helpful for you to hear an anecdote from the other side.

My DD9 was early-entranced into K with an early September birthday, so she was the youngest in her class. Still, at the 75th percentile for height, she was on the slightly high end of average. Then, she skipped a grade, so she is by far the youngest in her class. Sure, there are kids a lot taller than her, espcially now that she's in 5th grade and some of the girls have started to hit their growth spurts, but there are also several girls, two years older, who are the same size or smaller. With puberty beginning anywhere within a several year range, she may yet start growing at the same time as some of her older classmates (her brother started growing quite early). And, even if she doesn't grow early, in a couple years she'll still wind up as one of the tallest in her grade. To me, it is totally worth it to have her be on the shorter end for a few years so that she can have so many of her other needs -- both academic and social -- met. Besides, none of the parents of these classmates of hers who are short ever thought of holding them back because of that. Sure, it happens for boys some, but rarely for girls. So, while YMMV, height has been a complete non-issue for us.

Too, I should add, my DD has been completely integrated into the social groups of her new grade. She is, it turns out, one of the most popular girls in her grade, with everybody wanting to hang out with her and invite her to parties. She still has most of her friends from the grade before the skip, but she truly fits in much better with the kids in her current grade. She used to be shy, I think because she felt like she had to hide her abilities and her true self, but not anymore! Also, parents sometimes worry about what being smaller will mean for sports. Now, my DD is not likely to end up a professional or olympic athlete, but she is currently on a 5th/6th grade volleyball team and totally holding her own as a player.

I just wish she had a peer group, like I did, for the acceleration or grade skip. She is in the 15th percentile for height, as of her early Sept physical. So she is generally a foot shorter than kids in the second grade. She has some friends in the second grade that have birthdays around the same time, so they are just a year older and they are so much bigger. I am not worried so much in the early grades, it is more fitting in those beginning hormonal ages in middle school and how much she would feel the need to fit in.

I was reading about the influence a parent has on a child and peer pressure is much more influential on the scale, according to some study. I know that is average and depends on the child. But since we are seeing so many stories about bullying and suicide, I do not want to underestimate the peer pressure on a child that skips grades alone.

Right now the pace is working with the accelerated math.

Ren