Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy MY FIRST POST

Very sad indeed.............he currently goes to a private school that promised working at each child's level. Problem is, they have no one that can work with a gifted kid. The answer has more often than not been.........more work, not necessarliy more challenging work

I am so praying that he gets in Davidson!

Brenda

Davidson isn't the cureall to everything - but it has been a very uesful resource.

The school we are using has allowed us to provide a private tutor for math - which is cool. However, she is following the curriculum and just modifying it with less busy work.

So.... not just less work, but less material covered. Hard to get them to understand that an extra hour of math work at his level would go a long way....

Mary

Hi Jaxmom - I'm sick of me right at the moment, but it's all there on the Davidson Parent's Forum, so assuming you get it, you'll hear all about it. If you don't get in, perhaps you'll ghostwrite my memoirs - it could be filed under "horror" at the bookstore, or perhaps "farce." My prayer is, that by the time your in and reading my past, my son's school will be so ideally accomidated, that I will have lost interest in this topic entirely and be (mentally) somewhere else. Have a good weekend.
Trinity

Trinity, I will pray for that for you...........and all of us too The more I read, the more angry I get. I can not believe some of the stupidity out there with education/politics and gifted kids. I am seriously thinking of pulling my kid & doing homeschool with the help of one of his teachers who has worked wonders with him! I do work from home, so I think I can make it work??

Hang in there.............have a good week

Hi Jaxsmom,
I found myself retyping "the story" and since I had it dreged up I though of your question, and will repost it here. It's so easy for me to "forget" how painful that time was - which is good. But it was so bad. In retrospect i think my son was inattentive in school because he was depressed and anxious, perhaps clinically. I don't think that's true now - Thanks Be. Here it is:

When my son was in 2nd grade, the school asked our permission to complete a "behavior scale" and gave us one to complete at home. Then we had a meeting. We were told that our scale revealed that our dear son was at risk for 9 or 10 catagories like: agression, anxiety, atipicalily, depression and that his in school scale showed him as "significant" even worse in those catagories. Then we were told that even though our son's teacher had 20 years experience and was particularly strong in handling kids with ADHD, that our son's behavior in class was "like nothing she has ever seen before." Our state has a law that school personel are not allowed to give a diagnosis. I thought this was very innapropriate. So we went to a local child psychologist who noted that our son tested "very superior" on the WISC III in many of the substest but average or below average on a few. Although we liked this gentleman, I feel he was unqualified to interpret a WISC III that was so high. His take on our son was that our son might certianly be a little bored at school, but that the behavior problems where due to the splay in his scores, and could be thought of as a "relative" Non Verbal Learning Disorder. When we shared back our "diagnosis" there was another meeting where they showed us checklists about NVLD and ADHD and have multiple school specialists explain to us why ADHD was a better fit than NVLD. If I had know then what I know now i would have realized that unaccomidated giftedness is associated with many of the things they were concerned about. My belief is that a child like this can not be evaluated for NVLD or ADHD unless they are in an academic setting which is appropriate for them. I wish I was in a position to homeschool or try private schools but I am not, and my son reports that he likes his school and his friends. It's two years later, and a wonderful 3rd grade teacher, and a 4th grade teacher who tries her best to accomidate him in the classroom have improved the situation quite a bit. BTW, when we asked the school for single subject acceleration, our son was evaluated by their specialists and found to "not be a very deep thinker in math." and turned down. (He got the highest possible score in reasoning on the WISC IV that they regave him this January.)His behavior at school is "so-so." Thankfully He was accepted into the Davidson Young Scholar Program and I have had so much support and information! It's my glimmer of hope. I am still trying to work within the Public School system.

Jaxsmom-
I just went back and read the post where you're thinking about homeschooling. It seems like if you have the help of the teacher who you know can work with him, that you're in a good position. What does your son have to say about it? My guess is that if you pull him now you can coast on his gifts, but if you pull him later, after he gets like my son, you'll have to rebuild his trust in the world. That's a pretty delicate process. If you bring him home now, he can always go back into school when he wants to.


What ever you choose, I'm happy for you. I think that every gifted kid who gets thought about before "the behavior" starts is a win for the world.

Hi Trinity,

Wow, you have been thru it haven't you. Thanks for telling your story. I am glad that this organization is there to support you as you attempt to work with your school system. Your story & the stories that I have read about schools and our kids make me so sad and so angry.

I really am feeling like the homeschooling is the best option for my son. I am still trying to work out a few last minute kinks, but hopefully, I can pull it off .

Have a great week...........

Trinity -

I wonder how many of us have the same story - or so similar. I guess that the 'good' part was that we hit bottom in kindergarten. The principal was very careful not to diagnose - but she told me stories about kids with Aspergers who were so much better off in a public school with special ed.

When the psych did the test - we were lucky. He hadn't dealt with kids like Snoopy before -but he did some reading before talking to us and gave us pretty good information or no information. Refused to label ADHD until we got an appropriate educational set up because - lo and behold - all home problems had started after the school year and there was a sharp difference between home scores and school scores on the behavior scale.

Anyway - We pulled him from school and homeschooled. I would give anything if we had pulled 3 months earlier. I kept fighting it out though - thinking somehow they would listen.

It took nearly a year for my son to recover from the experience and regain his trust of teachers - and himself. He had fully bought into the teacher's idea that there was something wrong with him.

He's doing fine and dandy now - although he still isn't being challenged and the school is making 'attention span' noises. (Different school.)

We are going to do a real consult with a gifted expert and find out just what it should take to meet his educational needs. I suspect that knowledge is power....

Mary

Hello (still here waiting)

It is so sad what is happening to these children.School's don't even seem to care or make an effort.I sometimes feel that they KNOW all along.But due to lack of accomodations and funds, they ignore the situation. Often creating FICTIONAL lables!

Does it truly all add up to $$$$$$$$?

No. It is more than that. Many teachers literally know nothing about gifted kids - or if they do, only moderately gifted kids. HG kids and PG kids are rare and some teachers may never see a kid like mine in their career.

Yes, money does come into play - but so does the way that teachers are educated.