Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments What would you say to teacher???

Hello all! Well, need your great advice again Just received an e-mail from teacher saying that if there are any more "late" assignments from ds9, that he will lose his privilege to participate in a reading enrichment activity..."No more second chances as several students would love to participate and are being responsible which is part of the programs expectation"...Granted, my ds isn't the most organized, but he has improved dramatically with remembering to bring home assignments etc...The "late" assignments usually are his failing to tell me to sign my signature on a certain page alerting his teacher that I've looked at it. I volunteered to be the "enrichment reading" leader knowing that my son would be in it. I'm also volunteering in his classroom for other "enrichment" activities that everyone is able to participate in, besides volunteering in my other children's classrooms!!! Believe me, if I knew she was going to drop this bombshell, I would have let another parent pick up the slack on this one for a change!!! We are suppose to start the program next week, and this has been the one thing lately that my ds has been so excited for!!! He had his assignment done for it already last week!!! I don't know why, but for the last few weeks I've been feeling like she's out to get him I just don't know how to handle this. It seems so silly to me to take this away from him when he has improved so much in the "remembering" area, yet am I just being to easy on him and contributing to his lack of responsibility/remembering??? I trust your advice. What would you do/say??? Thanks everyone!!!

It seems like you should get some sort of bonus points for being a parent that clearly wants the best for not only your children but all your children's classmates and that you're willing and able to volunteer to make it happen! She should at least give you the respect of trying to talk to you about it before she fires off a letter, IMO.

Do you help currently in your DS9's class so that you could maybe try to bring it up casually one day when you're there? I know it's hard for a teacher to get into an in-depth conversation during school hours, but maybe you could tell her that you were wondering if you could get together and talk about the enrichment reading. I think you definitely need time to plead your DS's case, which to my mind sounds like he's learning to do better.

I know that teachers have to maintain order in their rooms, but it does sound petty, IMO, to take this opportunity away from your son for simple office-keeping infractions.

And, I definitely think you don't need to be in charge of reading enrichment if your son isn't even involved!

I hope it works out.

I don't think it's very fair of her to try and kick him out of the reading program because of something unrelated, especially when it hasn't even started yet! I would point out to her that it has already been an incentive for him to improve and that it would definitely be a negative incentive for further improvement if he were to be kicked out like that. I would (knowing me and how I react to things like this) also start signing every single page that he brings home, no matter what it is, just to be contrary. And I would not continue on as the leader of the program that they kicked my kid out of, either. But that's just me.

DD11 has improved in organizational skills, but at 9, she would forget assignments at school or forget to drop homework in teacher's basket. Her teacher wasn't the most helpful in figuring out a solution to the problem. Often I wouldn't even know there was homework based on assignment book notes. I started to put little reminders in her assignment book, check all papers when she first came in and we would make a trip to the school to pick up papers. I think sometimes she was happy to forget homework since it was quite easy. But after missing out on playtime with friends while going back to school, I noticed a difference.

IMHO the teacher's punishment does not fit the "crime". If he/she was concerned about homework, this should be discussed and he should be given a warning and a chance to improve. To take away something he is excited about, may disengage him from the learning process all together.

Jen

This program hasn't even started yet and she's already trying to hold it over a child's head? I'm sorry but I just think that is absurd. Maybe I'm misunderstanding.

Also, if the program expectation is responsibility it seems to me that would extend only to the assignments for that program, unless there is some specific written rule that you should have been notified of beforehand. Otherwise, I wouldn't think she'd have much of a leg to stand on to remove him from this program (please don't tell me she's the only one with decision authority - that is a bad set up, yuck.)


Of course you can't really say most of/any of that to her, the advice from others to chat with her casually about it are better ways to start. I would be irked, however.

Hugs to you all!!! Well, I feel like I'm not going crazy after all lol The more I thought about it, the more I thought that this is absolutely ridiculous...Taking away learning and reading as a punishment??? So he is who he is, and I want to applaude his improvements in executive functioning (even they are are too small or not fast enough) for dear teacher. At first I was so worried about (almost getting anxiety!!!) for making sure that every morning before school, ds had every single thing possible signed, initialed, laminated, highlighted, kissed, and sealed...haha...Well, you get the point! After reading your replies, I feel empowered again!!! Thanks again for your kind support. I just love this forum

I'm surprised you didn't get a warning from the teacher -- she really should have e-mailed you several 'late assignments' ago about this, so that you could let your son know he needed to make a bit more effort to stay organized, or risk missing out on the class he loves.

That said, as far as her overall attitude (that the enrichment activity requires a certain level of organization), I'm afraid I side with the teacher, based on my experience as both a parent and a teacher. I have two reasons:

First, it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that organizational skills are required and/or emphasized in an enrichment class. When students at my school are invited to join an enrichment class (Latin, for example, in lieu of the vocabulary and grammar portions of Language Arts), they and their parents are told that it will require harder work of them than the regular class would; part of that higher level of difficulty is staying organized. I can tell you from experience that no matter how much HG-PG kids need or deserve to be in the class, they just aren't going to get much out of it if they don't have good study habits and organizational skills.

And if they've been getting that message consistently, from both teachers and parents, since the primary grades (that's a big 'if' with some kids!), they almost always do brilliantly in the enrichment class, because they have learned how to use their extraordinary abilities well.

Second, requiring a parent's signature on an assignment isn't meaningless. In my opinion it serves three purposes: it gets the child used to communicating with his or her parent about homework; it gets the parent to at least cast an eye over the homework; and it lets the teacher know both those useful habits are being developed.

Hello hip...Thanks for the teacher's view. I have to admit that I expected to read exactly what you wrote I definitely do understand the importance of organizational skills, and teacher knows we value this. This is something that we are always working on, and teacher is well aware of that. Ds has made leaps and bounds since 3rd grade, so I want to cheer him on for the little improvements he is making and not for what he's not. He is thrilled with himself for remembering what he does, even if he may forget his lunchbox in his desk. He is a classic ENFP personality child, so this skill is hard for him. It's always his "goal" at conference time to improve in this area. Yes, he did receive a warning about possibility of not participating. He was well aware of that. I think holding this over his head is frankly, mean. Seriously. This enrichment class is a shared inquiry discussion of books. There is not a whole lot of "organizing" involved, except for reading the book and writing down your questions/thoughts. Teacher knows that ds thrives on reading. She knew he had his reading and notes done a whole week before enrichment was to take place....And without ever being asked to do so! He was so happy with himself. Trust me, they need ds in that reading class....He's the one that adds some zest to the discussion haha We had our first meeting, and most of the other students hardly said a word...errrr....A little frustrating seeing that he is the one (and a few others) that clearly needs this little extra enrichment....Oh, and it's not even being held during regular classtime....After school...Sorry I'm rambling...Just can't understand why some teachers focus on certain things (clearly we are very involved parents) when there are about 25 other kids in her classroom that REALLY need her help???? Well anyways, all is good for now

Oh, and ds is highly visual-spatial, which doesn't help matters haha If his teacher could really understand how he is structured, this would make total sense, but his teacher is seeing ds in terms of how SHE is structured...Auditory-sequential. In the beginning of the year, I and psychologist in gifted kids, had given her several "helpful" handouts on visual-spatial learners. Doesn't dear teacher REMEMBER this??!!?? lol

Well....if the idea of being "differently organized" doesn't fit into the sequence of beliefs, perhaps the idea and all of the supporting materials were discarded? I've noticed that my sequential friends are much better at tossing things out than I am. Then again....my more sequential friends would say I've never recieved anything I didn't think I'd want to see again later !

Seriously though...I think we place such cultural emphasis on the supremacy of physical organization that organization has come to be seen as a virtue rather than a trait, where as we place the strengths of visual-spatial learners in the category of a "mere" trait or talent.

FWIW, I do think that kids need to learn organizational skills, but the consequences of late assignments should be logical. The only way it should impact the enrichment is if the assignments are FOR the enrichment and/or the enrichment happens to offered during a time all students are normally in a study hall situation making up late/missed work.