Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school combating early start nay sayers

We got an interdistrict transfer to get Wolf into 1st instead of K this year. We tried for early enrollment in K and were told to homeschool it then move into first (which they then forgot saying... Sigh....). Wolf is doing wonderfully and can't imagine being in a K class and we can't imagine it either!

I've thought about and defended our decision a lot. Here is some of what I have come up with:

Socialization? That is EXACTLY what you are concerned about the next time the school brings it up, thank you very much, nice of you to mention it, I was just going to bring it up myself. Wolf does so much better with the 1st grade (1-2 year older) cub scouts he's with and the up to 6 year older Independent Study kids he works with. He'd be gong nuts stuck with ONLY kids his own age. The majority of them have no idea what he's talking about half the time and have no interest in multiplication or predation or knowing every detail about whatever the current passion in. Who says good socialization means children of the same chronological age? You are looking for a good social fit not just age wise, but brain wise. Same chronological age kids are easy enough to find outside of school.

Puberty? Kids hit puberty at different ages anyway. Not only that, but in outside classes your child will be around kids of varying ages so what does it have to do with the price of tea in China?

Getting to Middle School? Won't be an issue if we skip him now because he will grow up with the same kids he'll be going to middle school with. It will be a lot harder socially AND emotionally to do a grade skip later.

College at 16 (or 15, 14, 13...)? That's what community colleges and online college classes are great for. Community colleges often have high schoolers enrolled taking supplemental classes (at least around here). They have students ranging from high school age to grandparent age. What makes my kid so different? Also there are TONS of online classes where age is not a factor at all. The kid will be judged by their work and involvement even more so than in physical classes. Besides he might not even want to go straight to college anyway, what's wrong with taking some time off for real world experience?

thanks so much everyone...i feel better. i loved the comment about how we will settle for one grade skip, when there really could have been more. i feel that way....kindergarten a year early will still not be enough of an accomodation for him. they will be learning the letter "a" and he will be in the back reading the teacher's manual. lol. he taught himself to read about a year ago....and i believe what we see now is really just the beginning. (i say this not only as a parent who knows her son, but also as a former teacher- with 5 years experience in kindergarten.)

i will work on my tough skin, broken record response, and then learn to smile and wave and take my success(should we get it).

Hang in there. I am already learning tha I need to have a really thick skin in order to raise a highly gifted child. DD is already reading some (between a end of K- mid 1st grade level) and according to placement tests is in 1st semseter 1st grade math, and she won't be 3 till March. Every school in our area refuses to even consider early entrence including the privae schools. So that leaves DD being 5.5 when she is supposed to start K, and here they do a letter a week to. DD would go insane now dealing with that, much less in 2 and a half years. I can't imagine how horrible it would be for her.

The socilization stuff unerves me, as dd actually gets along better and is more comfortable, and more herself when interacing with kids who are currently in K and 1st grade. When with groups of kids her age she gets very quite and introverted, which is not her at all, and simply watces puzzled. And then when she does go up and try to talk and play usually it ends up with one of the other kids in tears. Not because dd is mean, but because she tends to scare them. They are sill parellel playing and get quite frightened by her games she wants to play with them. DD gets very frusteraed and upset and says "I was just trying to play with them. Why won't they play with me?" It actually hurts me to watch.

Right now we are working on first grade math workbooks when DD wants. She asks, I never push, but somedays she will sit and do 10 pages in a sitting. I have already been hearing from others those responses that I am puhing her, hothousing etc. Shrug. I know I am not, I know my daughter, and others who spend a great deal of time with her see it as well, so I am trying, but it takes awhile for that skin to thicken. Hang in there.

Good luck!

I didn't realize that dd#1 was unusually bright when she started K, but I saw no reason not to start her b/c she didn't seem not ready. She did make the cut-off, but by a matter of days. The then-principal at our neighborhood school also strongly encouraged me to hold her out a year. If I recall correctly, her words were, "the younger students invariably fail" followed by some doomsday speech about how I may not see how bad of a choice it was immediately, but she would fall further and further behind every year b/c she was so much younger.

Not only did she not fall further and further behind, she quickly rose to the top and skipped a grade. Now she's an 11 y/o 7th grader and doing great.

I've given up on the concept of convincing people who are set in their opinions of the wrongness of those opinions. I'm settling for doing my best to meet my individual children's needs and tuning out the rest of the chatter.

When will you get your answer as to whether they will let him start in the fall?

After reading through all the wonderful response, I can't add too much... other than my perfunctory hat-tip to "A Nation Deceived."

If you haven't already done so, take some time to read through the report, "A Nation Deceived"
http://www.nationdeceived.org/

There's an executive summary to get your feet wet (http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Nation_Deceived/Executive_Summary.aspx), and then you can plow into the full report for all the gory details.

The executive summary is probably a better introduction for whatever administrator you're trying to persuade. They can always find their way to the complete report should they be so inclined.

This article might also be of use, because it addresses some of the concerns of NOT putting your child into an appropriately challenging environment:
What a Child Doesn't Learn
http://www.wku.edu/academy/?p=430

Our son skipped K, and started 1st @ age 4y11m. He just completed a second skip from 4th into 5th and is doing very well, both academically and socially. I can't begin to imagine what a pickle we'd be in had we started him out in K... or worse, followed the popular approach 'round these parts and red-shirted him.

Lastly, for a giggle or two (which will probably come in handy about now), be sure to check out Hoagie's "Ridiculous Things I Heard Today" (http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ridiculous_things.htm)
You can compare the nutty & frustrating things you are hearing to what others have heard in their encounters with teachers, principals and others.

My response is always "if he was a freshman in high school, and he played basketball like Michael Jordan, would it be fair to him to play with the freshman or with the varsity?"

When sports are involved, it's ALWAYS a different response.

Of course, then they move on to maturity level, saying he wouldn't be mature enough at this age or that age which ALWAYS cracks me up because people who have NO idea how old DS is or what grade he is in almost always comment on his amazing maturity level - they automatically assume he's 7 or 8 (just short).

Thanks for this post gratified3. I have to admit I am one of the parents that has heard this over and over. It gets to the point that you just expect this, so when my 3 yr old is on the playground and shows no interest in playing with the other kids (all her age or younger), I think, yep, here we go. I'm not even considering that she is having fun playing her own game using her imagination which quite frankly is advanced and probably a little too much for the kids if she tried to bring them into the play. I know she is well liked at school and have noticed that the 1st graders adore her. Though I have not witnessed it, I suspect that the 1st graders involve her in a lot of their play time. One day while picking her up they ran over to her and hugged her saying her name and than asked me what class she was in. They were shocked to find out that she was only 3. I have also noticed that the same 1st graders don't show the same attention to the other younger kids. DD is a kid that has always gravitated to older kids so it isn't shocking that she seeks the 1st graders out, but it still shocks me how welcoming they are with her. I think your post re-enforces what I seem to overlook. Katelyn is not a 'normal' child but she isn't anti-social either. She is just creating her own path and I have to allow her the freedom to do this and not worry that she will never fit in.

I agree 100% with gratified3. However, that's when there's no one here but us chickens...

I don't think that it's necessarily a bad strategy with the school to say something like what WannaBeGTEduc is suggesting here, especially if the school is playing the "not socially ready" card about behaviors that a skip might fix. I think we have to use the tools we have at hand to get our kids the school fit they need. If the school is trying to fight the social fight, then turning it back on them could be a smart strategy.

Side note: I think the social thing often has a lot to do with how "pop-culture-y" the HG+ child's interests are, especially in elementary school. The kid who is into the latest video game characters and Lego sets (or whatever) is probably going to have an easier time making friends than the kid whose passion is nuclear physics, especially if the Lego lover's personality is extroverted to begin with.

I argue it this way: "We realize that DS9 probably won't be ready to move away to college when he's 16. Our plan is to give him a year or two to explore his options. He can take classes at one of the local community colleges to find out what he's most interested in. He can get a part-time job, do an internship, or a combination of these things. He can do something else that strikes his fancy, like improving his ice skating. We think of this as giving him a gift of time."

The only response I've ever, ever received to this statement is "Wow, that's such a cool idea." (Because it is! )

If it helps, I typically don't volunteer anything about my kids' (I have three) grade and subject accelerations. But if someone asks, I'm honest in a matter-of-fact way about it. This seems to help.

An interesting thing is that some people will open up and say things like, "You know, my daughter's Kindergarten teacher told me she reads her words very easily, and maybe she should try harder ones...."

I read this this morning and it seems to confirm a trend that I'd seen with my nephews' friends:

"30.7 percent of 16-year-olds got their licenses in 2008, compared with 44.7 percent in 1988."

That seems like it would make this argument to a grade skip or early entrance a non-issue, right?