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Anyone else have a gifted kid who will not go #2 on the toilet yet?? DD is 6 and we have tried all kinds of things to get this sorted out, but she just can't so it.

It totally freaks her out. As a matter of fact, she needs to not be wearing any clothes or jewelry other than a pull up to do the deed. Something truly psychological going on here.

Ped keeps saying that she will grow out of it, and she won't go to college in pull-ups but how much longer can this go on?

Thank you for reading

Our 6 1/2 year old will poop in the toilet, and we've FINALLY gotten him to attempt to wipe himself. We still have to check when he is finished (we make him wipe 3x) because he is disgusted by the possibility of not doing a good enough job on his own. He refuses to go at school or anywhere but home unless dh or I (or grandparents) are there. It took him a long time to grow out of using pull-ups at night because he just wouldn't wake up to go pee. He just grew out of that about a year ago or maybe less, and we didn't try to "train" him by letting him have accidents. We just let him keep wearing pull-ups at night. When he had a week of dry pull-ups in the mornings, we decided to stop using them. After that, he had maybe one or two accidents and hasn't had an accident in close to a year now. As for the issue of holding it when he needs to poop, he's actually created a severe case of chronic constipation and has been medicated for this for years. It's not the exact issue you are dealing with, but I think it has something to do with control and hyper-sensitivity. Did she have a bad potty experience (i.e. painful bowel movement) in the past? This can cause kids to develop a fear of pooping, and she might associate pain or discomfort with the toilet.

We've potty trained six and they are all different. We had one that wouldn't go on the toilet, so we told him that was fine, but he would have to take care of cleaning himself up and throwing away the dirty pull-ups, wipes, etc. I would stand beside him and verbally direct him on the details. This was unpleasant to say the least! I really didn't have the time/energy, or the patience for the process. However, I was truly tired of diapers in our home. After a few times, it worked. I guess he didn't like cleaning it up either.

Our gifted son was willing to go on the toilet, but wouldn't wipe himself. He was terrified of not getting clean enough. To help him, we installed a full length mirror on the back of the commode door. This solved the problem and gave him a lot of independence. He still freaks out a little when he has to wipe somewhere where there is not a mirror, but the deal is he tries and then we visually check for him and tell him if he needs to do more.

Hope I haven't given too much detail. Potty issues can be embarrasing! The good news is that I agree with the ped...they eventually all get the hang of it.

Movingup6, I love the mirror idea! That cracks me up. We just might have to try it. I'm tired of checking! LOL

That's a great idea about the mirror!

Both of my kids are different. DD6 used to hold it in until she was so constipated she would cry on the toilet. I actually had to take her to the Dr and get x-rays to show her how bad it was. She goes fine now. DS5 has never had an issue going #2, but he isn't very good at wiping. I'm going to have to look into the mirror idea!

That has got to feel like crap (sorry couldn't resist). Seriously, age six, I'd seek out more help. This could be really socially limiting for her and it may be the kind of thing that in a just a couple of visits a psychologist could help her get on top of.

This is my DS6. We've never had issues with him going either in the toilet, just the wiping aspect.

Me too! Good idea!

Thank you for your replies. I think we will try the first step of making her clean herself up etc. That will probably gross her out just enough.

I also like the mirror idea because she is obsessed with us getting her clean enough so I can only imagine how freaked out she will be if she has to do it herself.

And yes, DD has had constipation problems since she was a baby and has the hemmoroids to prove it. It turned out to not be dietary, but low bowel motility. So she has been medicated since age 2. Still she will have flare ups now and then and it becomes very painful and upsets her. So I'm sure this all plays in.

Thanks

This has been our life for two years now, and I do think hypersensitivity has something to do with it.