Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Question about Montessori and amount of writing.

This reminds me of my job. I have to come up with a technical solution to a business need then distill the design into a simple costing model. I then have to explain all aspects of the design AND the costing model to everyone so that THEY can understand it and sell it and implement it across timelines of several years. Some days and some months are very, very, very frustrating for everyone.

The real world is not easy at all - and the smarter you are, the harder it is. Being able to deal with frustration is a very valuable skill. Being able to defer short term gratification for long term gain is the root cause of success in life. It is like running a race - there is pain, but is the pain destructive or just noise?

I agree with this sentiment 100%. But speaking only for my children and from my experiences, what is being described here would be potentially destructive. If my kids' Montessori teacher made them do this much writing (esp. at the age of just six) they would very quickly begin to hesitate to choose work and when nudged would choose on the basis of what work would have the least associated writing.

I see no problem with forcing a child to write more so as to develop the skill, regardless of whether they like it or not. I force my kids to practice the piano every day and they don't like it. But I wouldn't want them to dislike school and not be able to pursue their interests because the associated writing component was too onerous. Not at the age of six.

P.S. I don't mean criticize this teacher. The teacher in this case knows the child and has said she wants to see how it goes. Sounds very reasonable so far.

[quote=JaneSmith]If my kids' Montessori teacher made them do this much writing (esp. at the age of just six) they would very quickly begin to hesitate to choose work and when nudged would choose on the basis of what work would have the least associated writing.

This is EXACTLY what ds does! He had about 15 different practice lessons to choose from to reinforce his spelling words at home last week. He went through the list very carefully and chose the one that he thought would require the least amount of writing. When he has to generate his own writing/thoughts, even if it's just filling in a blank or coming up with a list of words in a particular category, he chooses short words. For example, if he thought of the word, "airplane," he might try to see if he could make the word, "jet," fit so that he could write a shorter word. I have many examples of this kind of thing. I, too, see no problem with him facing some adversity or struggling through a challenging task, but when it causes him to hate school, cry about having to go morning, and cry every afternoon when I pick him up, are we doing more harm than good? 6 year olds are supposed to enjoy school and look forward to it. The teacher is wonderful, and I feel certain she'll do whatever she can to ease his stress. I just wonder how flexible the school will be in the long run if this turns out to be more of a problem than just a kid who needs more practice with writing. I guess the bottom line is that I need to really sit down and discuss this more with the teacher. We are so new to the school, and I'm already very vocal about his needs. I don't want to interfere so much that I'm not letting the teacher do her job. I also don't want to be my son's enabler in his pursuit of underachievement!

Yes, while I want to be supportive of ds, I do not want to feed into the negativity. Any suggestions for motivating him would be great! I will also speak with his teacher, of course, but I'd like to help ds feel more positive about school and feel good about how far he's come. In just 3 weeks, his writing looks like it's from a different kid. It's a huge improvement, but to him, it's just "too hard," "too much," and "he can't do it." He says he wants to go to another school, but I'm afraid he's learned from our previous experience with making a school change that he can just say he doesn't like it and we'll let him try something else. Maybe he'll evenutally find a school where he can play Wii all day! (He was at the other school for 2 1/2 years before we made a change, and it's not something we want to do again.)

does your ds notice the improvement?

maybe that will encourage him...

I'm not sure if he notices or not. I keep telling him how much his writing has improved, but he's such a perfectionist. Anything less than perfection isn't good enough. I am planning to go in with ds and the teacher next week and show ds his writing samples from the beginning of January compared to now.

Ds also says that it might look better but it's still really hard for him to accomplish that. This is a kid who hasn't had to learn to work hard at anything (until now). Maybe it just seems "TOO HARD" because he's not used to being challenged in school. Or, maybe he has a writing disability. I just don't know.

Maybe your school would be willing to compromise a bit. We recently toured a Montessori school for my son and the Head of School made a point to mention they teach the kids how to use what looked like an old-school word processor. It was basically a keyboard with a small window on the top that showed what was typed. He said it was a way for kids to get their thoughts down (you can print from it) when their handwriting wasn't clear or they had trouble writing. He made the point that kids will need keyboarding skills more than handwriting in the future, and having the keyboards cut down on frustration quite a bit.

I know I can type a heck of a lot faster than I can handwrite something, so that made a lot of sense to me. Maybe the school will allow your son to do a certain percentage of his work on a keyboard instead of handwriting it?

Hi JenSMP,

My DS6 is homeschooled so I don't know how helpful this is but I just want to reassure you that I don't think your child is atypical of a six year old. I know boys (in general, but especially gifted boys) are notorious for hating to write because their motor skills are not on par with their cognitive development. I imagine the experience is even more frustrating for a perfectionist. That is certainly the case for my 6 year old boy. He recently started online school. After a placement test, his teacher wanted to put him in 4th grade but I requested for 4th grade math and 3rd grade language arts solely due to his handwriting and spelling. His reading/comprehension/vocabulary/grammar are all OK at 4th grade but his handwriting just isn't there. For example, yesterday he was doing a writing test. He had to make up a story, which he verbally told me in wonderful detail but when it came to writing it down, he didn't want to continue. I usually don't push him (I usually just scribe for him if he refuses to write) but because this was a test, I told him he simply had to do it or I was going to send him back to school (which he hated more than anything). So he wrote, the whole time complaining and wiping tears. I felt so horrible. In the end, he wrote two sentences, carefully choosing only simple words he knew how to spell and making the sentences as simple as possible. I said, "What happened next?" He said, "I decided this is going to be a VERY SHORT story." I just didn't have the heart to pressure him any more. It was pretty traumatic for me too. I asked the teacher for permission to scribe for him or have him type his writing assignments, except for those times when the assignment is specifically practicing penmanship. I think at age 6, the most important thing for a kid to learn is the love of learning. The motor skills will catch up with the rest soon enough. I could be wrong and I might regret not having pushed him more, but this is what I think right now. I just wanted to share my experience and my thoughts because I could totally relate to you and your child's anxiety. I hope it all works out in the end for both of our children!

My DS is in the same situation as yours. Was in a montessori school skipped kindergarten and is now the youngest in his 2nd grade class (January 13) so very similar. He skipped kindergarten in the montessori school BUT they would not move him up until he could write. One summer I spent everyday practicing with him. That is the one thing I had to push with him. But I think it had to do with a great teacher. She knew if he could not write no matter how smart he would not succeed in skipping a grade. I was grateful to her and it forced us to really work on writing, which of course he hated.

Ditto in Mr W's Montessori School. They have real computers for the kids, but have some VERY rugged keyboards for them!!

A lot of people told me to take typing in HS and I never did.

Mr W will take typing as soon as he is ready.