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    Joined: Dec 2009
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    There was a princess themed birthday party at a friend's house the other day with twenty little girls ages three and four, and my lovely DD stood out as "one of these things is not like the others". She was talking and making announcements to the entire room and non-stop talking (her voice is booming for the shortest kid in her preschool)in a way that bordered on disruptive, though could be entertaining. The other kids were so quiet in comparison. Then there was the cake riot she incited by getting all the kids to shout "cake cake cake!" to demand cake sooner. They were all laughing and it was lighthearted, but she was clearly "out there." She got the kids at her table to get very silly and goofy and was the ringleader of rowdiness.

    One of the moms next to me started talking about how mature her daughter was and how her older sister is so advanced that she started reading in kindergarten (she has no idea my clown of a child started reading at two) and I think the hidden message was "my daughter can't relate to rowdy children beneathe her intellectual development" and maybe she is right on some level: I am sure my DD looks like the kid who will be throwing paper airplanes in class. I know some of the really bright kids on here were the quiet ones that liked more mature company,and at times I wish I had the contained, mature appearing child, but I love my little fireball and might be bored with one who was too reserved.

    The other kids really liked playing with her and she seems popular, but I do wish she was able to tone herself down just a few notches. Another mom said how quiet her child became in social situations and I said, "must be nice" and all the moms laughed very loudly and my DD turned to the group and said "all the mothers are laughing at me" and they all looked stunned that she realized what was being said. I somehow forget that nothing slips past her...


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    TwinkleToes

    You and your daughter can come to all our birthday parties and ALL our kids can be as loud as they like and we will sit around and talk about how wonderfully exuberant and charming they are. :-)

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    LOL - I personally love to hear stories like this because my DS is DEFINITELY like this, and my daughter has become more like this as she has lost some of her mommma cling and some residual toddler shyness. They can both be very silly and goofy. They love to make people laugh and a crowd brings it out best.

    We have a group of a few friends with GT boys DS's age. When they were younger there were 2 boys that always got kudos for their maturity and poise. We were out with all the boys and these 2 guys were stand outs because they weren't that silly and would be chatting with the adults. Both these boys are very comfortably MG. DS is the HG-PG kid with a wild sense of humor and chameleon skills. DS will surprise people if they get him alone. I've gotten cornered a few times after DS had a one-on-one conversation with an adult who hadn't spoke to him one on one before.

    If you think about it, these people skills will definitely serve them well as adults. I tell myself that all the time when one of my kids is embarrassing me. laugh

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    thanks for sharing the story.

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    Originally Posted by TwinkleToes
    One of the moms next to me started talking about how mature her daughter, who was sitting next to my daughter, was and how her older sister is so advanced that she started reading in kindergarten (she has no idea my clown of a child started reading at two) and I think the hidden message was "my daughter can't relate to rowdy children beneathe her intellectual development" and maybe she is right one some level,I know some of the really bright kids on here were the quiet ones that liked more mature games, but she has no idea what is actually hidden behind all that noise...or maybe they do because every once in awhile they might hear something come out of her mouth that gives her away, but I get the feeling no one would think a kid who acts like that is bright.

    My DD is typically very quiet in group situations and I often think that others can't tell that she's smart. (Personally, I'm glad that others can't tell, but I do wish that DD wasn't so intimidated by large groups.) Maybe this mother is having the same insecurities that you are--thinking that everyone is assuming that her kid isn't bright because of the way that she is acting. I wouldn't assume that there was a message of superiority there; and, in fact, to the extent that there might have been, you should keep in mind that people often communicate superiority when they feel inferiority.

    It sounds like your DD was the life of the party. Be proud of her great social skills, not embarrassed that others couldn't see her intellectual gifts as well. smile

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    Originally Posted by no5no5
    Maybe this mother is having the same insecurities that you are--thinking that everyone is assuming that her kid isn't bright because of the way that she is acting. I wouldn't assume that there was a message of superiority there; and, in fact, to the extent that there might have been, you should keep in mind that people often communicate superiority when they feel inferiority.

    I think this is very often true. And I find myself more comfortable during these interactions when I think about them that way. The vast majority of people are NOT malicious in their intent and are just thinking out loud or expressing their own insecurities.

    I often get asked if DS takes drama or acts (no - but maybe he should as an outlet), but almost never get asked about his GT-ness. Unless someone catches him one on one or he starts talking about what he's doing in math. Even his reading choice aren't quite as stand out as a 3rd grader in a area with lots of strong readers. He can read about anything, but wouldn't choose to necessarily. He still enjoys kid and young adult fiction. He did read some adult sci fi novels lately. The math does stand out though.

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    I hope that as your DD grows she doesn't let the social status quo get to her. When I read your stories it puts a smile on my face and I can't help visualizing a little Pippi Longstockings. There is just something so pure about a child that beats to their own drum and doesn't really care that they don't quite fit with the herd. Thanks for sharing.


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