Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Do you ever feel like you're in over your head

Most Days, Tofu!

Hi no5no5,


The message I was sending was to the original poster who queried if any other parents felt in over their head. But I think I may have been unclear -- to clarify, I was not complaining to my DS at any point, just to the anonymous web. I would imagine it's a fairly common type of in-over-head-feeling around here, but perhaps not.

Take care,

Polly

Polly - I get where you are coming from. My kids read and comprehend faster and understand things I don't get. It can make a Mom feel not fit for the job somedays. I keep repeating the message people have different learning abilities. One day, I was reading out loud a Math puzzle book and was having trouble understanding it. My DS9 grabbed it from me and said he knew what to do.

my daughter, three,also has a terrifying memory (in my mind) and can memorize long songs, involved stories, poems, line after line from movies, etc, but thank goodness she doesn't expect me to do it because my memory feels pretty limited lately with an almost two year old and a three year old. She also likes to play with Playdough for hours. She makes figurines and has them act out stories. I think it is great when my child sees my limitations because it makes her less intellectually dependent. Yes, she can go to mommy for answers, or we can go to a book or the Internet, but it is also a good lesson for her to see that SHE can be the one who knows more at times and get comfortable with that role because she is going to find herself in it many times in life. Now I am not saying I don't try to answer things and I am not asking her to be "grown up" at 3, just saying that you don't have to be good at that particular game with your son to be providing for his needs. Someimes not providing is providing, in the sense, for his understanding that others may not have the same interests or abilities... that said, I wish I had more energy. She is up at 5 am like a rocket asking questins literally dancing and singing and while I am up and interacting, I probably have a tenth of her energy right now...

Okay. I though you were saying that you discussed with your son that you had an old brain, but maybe I misread. I think my post came across as pretty snarky, but I was really just trying to help.

Polly. I understand what you were saying and also have the toddler who has the crazy memorization. It is amazing to me how I can read a book once, maybe even twice and she can recite it verbatim. And I'm not talking short little books with one line per page but rather books meant for older kids with a couple of paragraphs per page. And we find ourselves playing similar games that you talk about but I have to confess that my DD doesn't sound as demanding as your DS and I am definitely thankful for that because I, too, would be in the same boat as you. It is only when I jump in with her game that I get corrected but she is quite content to just use her memorization to kick start some imaginary world that she participates in. (From reading the posts from other moms talking about the crazy memorization I have concluded that the over the top early imagination goes hand and hand.) I suspect that your son just has a different personality and is why he demands your input. In time he will understand it isn't that you don't want to play, just that you don't have the same skill. Big hugs! I know it can get frustrating because we are adults and SHOULD be able to keep up with toddler games but our little toddlers don't play the way they describe it in the books!