Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Recommended Resources More school decisions...ALREADY!!!

Thanks everyone! Definitely food for though and lots of great insight. Sometimes you can just be too close to a situation...tough to see the forest for the trees.

Well, ds started the Montessori school today, and he had a great time. He was as happy as a clam when I picked him up. He came home talking about polygons, herbivores, motherboards, its vs. it's, and football! He got to take a DVD player apart to find the motherboard; he was even able to explain what that is. He also said he did a lot of writing today but not one complaint! It's like pulling teeth for me to get him to write anything. So, first day was a success.

He used to come home from school in tears and couldn't seem to recall one thing he did all day. I was in shock when he recalled all those details. Another child told him to "get out of his face," today, and I think that hurt his feelings a little (he has personal space issues), but he let it roll off his back. He just told the kid that he was not being nice. Normal kid stuff, but he's usually so sensitive. I am proud that he was able to let it go without dwelling on it. We'll see what he says in two weeks, but today was good! I'll take that!

Oh, that's a good sign! Yay!

JenSMP,
I pm-ed you about these schools

Well, we're in to the second week at the Montessori school, and so far it's still a huge improvement from the Catholic school. Ds is happy when I pick him up at the end of the day, although he does seem tired. His only real complaint is that the day takes too long and that he has to write ALL DAY long. I asked the teacher today about how he's adjusting, and she says he's doing ok. She said he was not very focused today, and they're keeping an eye on that for a few weeks to see if it continues. Uh-oh.

He has a little more trouble in the afternoons when the teacher is doing small group lessons because she is not available for one-on-one istruction. He keeps asking her for help, even though he knows how to do the work. He's never been accused of being independent. Maybe this will be good for him.

I think one problem is that they have to write EVERYTHING in their notebook, and they do a lot of copy work. It's not all for writing practice; I guess the philosophy is that when they copy information into their book they'll learn it. Ds is so focused on writing letters correctly and neatly(because this is very difficult for him) that he's not paying attention to what he's writing. I don't know if he's learning it or not. He probably is, but the writing is a major challenge. Maybe it's good for him to get all this writing practice. I just don't know.

I know nothing is perfect, but I'm starting to get a little worried. Again, I'm encouraged by the fact that he doesn't seem to show any major stress, but today he didn't want to go to school (first time so far). He also complains about kids making fun of him sometimes or saying mean things. I guess this is normal kid stuff, right? I just can't stand it! Ds would never make fun of anyone. Ds can be very self-conscious, so I know if he's made fun of, he'll obsess over whatever it is that they made fun of. He's so used to just being accepted the way he is, quirks and all. At the small private school (with the older kids) they're all quirky and unique and accepting. Ds says the kids at Montessoir are mostly nice, but not all the time.

He says he likes the Montessori school but he'd like to go back to the small private school I mentioned before as our other alternative. I'm really considering it, and one reason is that it goes through 12th grade. The Montessori school goes to 6th grade, and I think that's a tough time to be making a transition to a middle school. We had a field trip on Friday, and two of the parents were talking about their 5th graders transitioning to middle school and having a hard time deciding where to send them.

It's only been a week, so I'm still keeping our options open and keeping an open mind. I'm going to an open house for the private school on Thursday night. Maybe that will sway me. : ) Thanks for listening. Just wanted to give an update and see if anyone has any other advice or thoughts to offer.

Thanks for the update - I was wondering how things were going.

I would definitely talk to the teacher about DS feeling bad that the kids are making fun of him. I think that the teacher will want to know, and expect you to mention it.

When are they going to pressure you to commit to next year? Yuck!

I would stall on that if at all possible. If he is learning new information and skills then he will be happy enough - if he isn't then he won't.

L&ML
Grinity

Ok, I'll talk to the teacher about the mean kids. I just hate to be "that Mom." I think they are going to want us to commit to next year sometime in February. The other school would like a $400 "down-payment" by mid Feb to hold a spot . That sounds reasonable to me since they are truly going on faith that the interested parents are going to follow through. I will have to be honest with them so they know I am keeping options open. We just haven't had enough time to make an informed decision. I'm hoping today was just an off day, and not the beginning of a familiar pattern, but if it continues I know where we'll be next year.

I also agree with some of the others comments about the small private school over the Montessori...we wish that we had that option....DS7 was in a Montessori program from age 2-5 and we really, really had hoped that Montessori would be right for him since it just seemed so perfect for him...when he was 2-3 years old he was with the same teacher who was really, really good with him and didn't stick with the "by the books" Montessori approach and it worked out very well..when he moved into the next grouped classroom it went downhill. The teacher was a stickler for the by the books routine and she wouldn't budge one bit. He had to do everything in order - even if he already knew a concept. If he didn't do it exactly the Montessori way she made him keep doing it until he completed the Montessori way. I have heard this several times from other people who have tried Montessori as well. If they are sticklers for their exact routine, I would be a little concerned if you have an out of the box thinker. We ended up pulling our our son because it just turned into a disaster...we now homeschool because we have yet to find that out of the box school...so I would keep an eye out to see how flexible they are because many Montessori based schools are not very flexible when it comes to swaying from exact steps.

We too are finding the same thing in our Montessori school as belle mentioned. Our DD is currently in a 1st-3rd level class, as a supplement to a 3rd grade placement in a homeschooling virtual academy. We love the fact that she gets to be in a classroom setting with grade level peers, however, we find that she is spending lots of time just going through the step by step progression of subjects, even though she already knows the material and concepts. We do not stress too much about it since she only attends 2 days a week, and she is not complaining about it. However, it has made it clear to us that a full time placement in the Montessori class would not be a good fit for her. She just moves through information way too fast for their comfort, and already knows things (granted, she hasn't been formally taught many of the concepts) and is ready to keep moving and building on them.

The Montessori teacher we have is very sweet and caring and really wants the best for our DD, I just think her Montessori training is so engrained in her that she cannot fathom moving DD along quicker or skipping steps.

Well, day two of the second week, and ds didn't want to go to school again this morning. He's already complaining. I'm praying he's just reacting to a bad day yesterday, but I'm afraid this looks all too familiar. Regardless, he's going to have to stick it out for the next 4 1/2 months, as now I have to work to help pay for the school. I am definitely going to the meeting Thursday at the other school. The Montessori school assured me that ds could work at his own rate and that he didn't have to do every step in every process, but from his complaints it sounds like that's exactly what is happening. The teacher said, "he might not accomplish everything he would like to each and every day, but by the end of the year, he will have completed 80 lessons." Oh, that's just great! He just needs to see, hear, or touch something once and he doesn't ever forget it. All this writing in the notebook is killing him. Well, I guess if we do switch to the other school next year, at least he'll have 5 months of intense writing practice under his belt! I do think that I'll have a lot more input and influence at the other school. I know they'll be very accommodating and flexible. Ultimately, that's probably what we need.

Another thing that's always in the back of my mind is my parents and husband's concern that ds has been moved around too much and that he needs the consistency of one school...he needs to learn to stick with something even if it's not perfect...he has to fit into society, blah-blah-blah. It's like they think he should just suck it up like everyone else does and settle for a mediocre education that doesn't work for him. Lucky for ds, he has me to advocate for him, and ultimately I make the decisions. They may not be popular decisions, but I have to do what's right for my son. At least HE will appreciate it one day.

I was just reading the "reasons to keep your child home" section of the Montessori handbook. It says:

A child should stay home if he/she acts unusually tired, pale, lacking appetite, confused, irritable, difficult to awaken or just not "themselves". Bwahahahahah!!!

Tired? Difficult to awaken? Not themselves? I might as well pull him out now!