Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school MY DD is just "TOO MUCH"

You are definitely not alone!!

I've found that when we come across a math concept in her workbook that is still over her head, she is suddenly tired and wants to go to bed (she loves doing math workbooks at night). I never thought of it as a "strategy" to wear her out though. I think this is an example of what Grinity is talking about though.

ETA: Here is the math workbook - higher thinking, problem solving math book imo:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Ma...m=3&usri=math+for+the+gifted+student

Twinkletoes, you just about described my DD-almost-4 -- total high energy, very loud, a whirling dervish! I don't have much time to write on here right now, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone!!! (And I also have a DD20mo -- so we both have two girls about the same age!)


Amber

I actually like the idea of wearing her out with mental challenge, but she has no interest in doing anything remotely "academic" like workbooks or flashcards (not that you were suggesting it, she just gets the vibe that she is being put on the spot and asked to do something and so she refuses). I sometimes simply think she should try new things like puzzles (they seem to quiet her) instead of the same old same old, but she only does what she wants to do when she wants to do it. Maybe this will change as she gets older.

My dd will do 10 pages in one workbook then want to do 16 pages in another workbook...in one sitting. BUT if someone asks her something "academic", she won't answer or she'll make up something silly.

Our nephew is/was like your daughter. The age around 4 was the most difficult to him. His father has a quite strict way with him and it helped. Always when he was getting to be "too much" he took him alone to another room and discussed his behavior, how he should try to calm down and also tried to explain to him how other ppl need more space. Then they came back and he was bit calmer for a while (then he was "too much" again and they went to another room again...). Traditional punishments did not work well with him as he is very emotionally sensitive. He is 8 now and still the same boy full of energy, idea's and joy but he is not "too much" anymore. In other occasion I would not like to mention this but he has always been our favorite of DHs sisters kids. I would get sometimes tired of him loving me so much and so enthusiastically but at the end of the day his energy was/is so positive it made others happy too. He seems to be very popular amongst his classmates, he seems like a born leader. He is the kid who invents the funniest games and everybody wants to be his friend. He still needs to go out to run 2x day at least for 1h each time. They live in very cold climate and still are able to make it happen. I understand you don't like cold as I don't either but some kids (mine included) really need lot of outside time.

I wanted to tell you this as I'm sure there are parents and kids who appreciate your DDs energy and are actually drawn to her because of it. It should get better when she grows up. In the mean time could you have her do some sports everyday. I'm not sure if it would help her but maybe try a schedule where you write down together with her when is time for what.

Mr W (23 mo ) is very intense. He tried to carry his baby ways over to his more mature understanding of events to influence them. This can lead to screaming, maniacal fits.

This is not acceptable.

When he was about a year old, he had a major meltdown in the car and I pulled over to talk to him. He seemed to get it.

Nowadays, the best tactic we have is to get down to his level, ask him to use his words, tell us what he needs. Sometimes we cannot accommodate him and we explain why and offer him an alternative. It works most of the time. We also tell him that it makes us sad when he acts that way. Because he has so much empathy, this works, too.

Mr W is very charming and very charismatic. When he is happy and fun, he is the life of the party.

Oli, thanks so much for that note. It actually brought tears to my eyes. Many people do seem to get a kick out of her. She speaks in an animated voice, is enthusiastic and funny and entertaining. I am sure it might rub some people the wrong way, but it was really great to read your post. Thanks.

DD7 is MG+ and DS8 is HG possibly PG so far as I can tell. Both seem to have some level of sensory integration disorder. DS's behavior always seemed more troublesome because he seems to completely miss social cues and therefore getting him to learn that when someone says "Stop doing that." they don't mean "Stop doing that five minutes from now". DD has a much more social nature and she is really doing very well socially now.
It wasn't until third grade that DS's behavior became something that really effected him socially. I think as a kindergarten, and second (skipped first) grader the boys were all a bit rambunctious and prone to jumping wrestling etc. Now in fourth grade the parameters of acceptable (cool) behavior have narrowed so between his intensity and his lack of awareness regarding social cues he is judged pretty harshly.
I was really unprepared for my two to be so intense as my older two were "pieces of cake". But I have learned that it is important to do two things - 1. make sure they feel accepted for who they are at home and 2. they need a really firm set of limits and boundaries clearly laid out to help them see and react to those around them.
I sometimes feel like they are just so energized by their level of thinking and are eating up every experience with all of their senses and thoughts and that this is where the intensity comes from. I can't say that like some on here that workbooks etc. helped. Physical exercise with a large sensory component - like swimming - did help. Running and playing with other kids most often ramped them up to ridiculous heights.
Why are our kids like this? If I had a good answer - even an educated guess I would share it. Does your daughter's energy/intensity level have a cycle at all? I noticed that DS will seem to be calming down for five days or a week and then it will return with a vengeance. What I see at home also translates to school so it isn't changed by the setting. Last year his teacher and I often found ourselves asking each other on the same day - "What is going ON this week???"
Keep sharing and find a way to get a break! Teenage babysitters are great because they are old enough to handle most situations and are young enough and non-judgemental enough to actually have fun and play hard enough to keep these kids going!