Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Recommended Resources More school decisions...ALREADY!!!

So, ds6 begins Montessori school tomorrow. It seems like a great fit for him, and we are feeling very positive. Ds is a little apprehensive as he's gotten used to homeschooling and being with Mom all day, but he'll be fine.

Here's the catch: we're looking at the next 5 months as a trial to see if this school will be a good fit for our son long-term. He's not had a positive school experience yet, barring the school he attends for enrichment (to supplement HS), so we are very cautious. The school just informed us that we will have to make a decision about next year by February!!! We haven't even started yet! It costs a LOT of money to send him there, and we are more than willing if it's the right fit, but we really want more than a month to make a decision about this.

We do have another option. I'm very interested to hear what you all think. Ds6 (first grade) has been attending a small private school two afternoons a week for enrichment classes (science (a hands on class as well as project learning tree), art, music, and dance/theater). He absolutely LOVES going there.

The school teachers and administration are very interested in having ds attend full time. That could mean one of two things: one-on-one instruction from a gifted teacher (she's currently there as a resource for the older students, but she provides one-on-one instruction in certain subjects for them as well) 3 days/week with 2 days of online learning in the mornings followed by 5 day/week afternoon enrichment. Ds would likely be the youngest student, with others being middle school or above (doesn't bother him a bit!)...OR:

If 4 other 1st-3rd grade students enroll at this same small private school, they'll have a full time class with a dedicated teacher. We had a roundtable meeting/discussion with the director and the parents. It sounds like we are all looking for the same thing-nontraditional classroom with a teacher familiar with gifted issues and time for the children to explore their own interests. The school is all for it and happy to provide this type of environment and education. It sounds like all the parents are in as long as we all commit to enrolling. The school uses a variety of curriculae and resources for instruction; they want to keep the class to under 10 students, but it'll probably be around 5. They want us to decide on this option by the beginning of March so that they'll have the proper staffing-they want to hire one more teacher.

So, what do you think? We're going to try to get an extension on next year's enrollment for Montessori, so we don't have to make a decision yet. But, if we do end up having to make a decision soon what would you do? The Montessori school has tons of materials and larger facilities. The other school is very progressive with a very small close knit group of kids. The older students already love ds, and if he had his choice he'd go there instead of Montessori. My main concern has been the absence of other children closer to his age. In a way, I see this as an opportunity that many people don't get. I hate to pass it up, but I'm also a little apprehensive because it is SO non-traditional.

Thanks for your help with this!

Hi Jen,
Sounds like you have a couple of good options! I know this is going to be a tough decision. But, I had one question: what does each of the choices look like long-term? I'm thinking in terms of stability, in case the situation is a good fit. Is the Montessori program K-6 program and then you would need to find something else? Does the small private school go all the way through high school? I've personally changed my kids' schooling situations many times, but I like the idea of stability when you can find it, so I was just curious if this could impact your decision.

He will be in the Montessori 1st-3rd classroom, right? Obviously they are not full if they accept him now. Chances are very good that they won't be full next year either.

Of course, they would like you to make the decision now, pay part of the tuition, etc, but if you postpone your decision till August they will probably be very happy to take him back regardless. As long as they are not full I don't see a reason to make the decision now. The same is likely to be said about the other private school.

Don't let push you into making a decision until you are ready.

Thank you guys. Yes, the Montessori school goes through 6th grade, and then we'd have to find something else. That concerns me because it's not an ideal age to have to start over and try to fit into someplace new. The other school does go through 12th grade. It's just a very nontraditional environment and there is lots of independent learning, especially at the high school level. Some of the students do the online virtual public school, but they supplement with projects and have time to explore their personal interests. They all are quite advanced, and some are taking college level classes online.

I agree that we'd probably still get in the Montessori school next year even if we didn't make a decision now; that's a good point. The other school isn't pushing us to make a decision-they just need time to hire another teacher, so they need to know how many of us are committed to a new program for next year.

The Montessori school seems to be a good fit for our son, but they do have their own way of doing things and are not likely to alter that too much. They do have some flexibility, but they are committed to a strict Montessori approach. The other school would be more likely to tailor an education plan to my son specifically. The Montessori school seems very stable. The other school has been around for a while, but they haven't started a new elementary program since the current high school kids were that age. They've just worked with this small group of kids all the way through. I don't doubt their ability to provide a very good education. They're just not as structured and do not have specific systems in place. Each child's education is different, which I suppose is ideal for a gifted child. I guess I'm just so used to the traditional education model. While I know that's not a good fit for ds, it's hard to let go of that way of thinking. Montessori is a stretch as it is. All in all, it's good to have options. I just want to make the right decision. Thanks again for your replies.

Ummmmmmmmmmm tell me again why you would not choose the small private school?

Yes, I'm with Breakaway. If your child isn't a "traditional" kid, then a traditional school setting may be a bad idea for him.

Aside from the small class sizes--which can be a social con as well as an educational pro--what's the downside to the small private school? It really seems like they're going to go all out for your son!

The private school sounds ideal. I don't know if this is a concern but is the tuition between the two very different?

We are in a public Montessori right now so it's not run like a strict Montessori but it doesn't seem to be the right fit for my son...even though I was sure it would be. Your school might be a really good fit though.

Is your reason for not sending him there because he won't be around kids his own age?

The cost is cheaper at the small private school. Montessori is costing us an arm and leg. Neither is inexpensive, but we'd definitely save money with the smaller school.

I agree that the private school sounds ideal. It just feels right when he is there, and he loves it. Of course, he's always having fun taking theater, science, and art! What's not to love? It would be a bit different when he has to do all of his subjects there. The older kids treat him like he's just a normal part of the group. They think he's cute because he talks like a little adult, but they don't treat him like he's a little kid. He loves that. But, yes, I do worry that he doesn't have more kids his own age there. If they are able to start the elementary class for next year, he'll have more kids his age, so that "problem" will be solved.

Jamie, that's interesting to hear that your Montessori school isn't a great fit. It sure seems like it would be perfect, doesn't it? I am so worried that this is going to turn out to be another bad fit. I realize you just don't know until you try, but ds has had such a bad school experience so far that I'd hate for him to be even more discouraged.

Kriston, I do worry about the class/school size. If they aren't able to start up the elementary class, who will he become friends with? I know he considers the older students his friends, but who will he play with outside of school? Ds is convinced that the 10th grade boy he looks up to will want to come over and play Wii at our house! He's a great kid, but I'm sure he has friends his own age (not 6) LOL It's just so different from my school experience. Not that it was a bed of roses for me academically, but I treasured those friendships I made back then. I probably worry too much. I just want whats best for him.

Again, it's good to have options. I am going to try to ride this out as long as possible before making a final decision. I think if I'm on the fence when the time comes, I'm going with the small private school. If ds falls in love with Montessori and thrives over the next couple of months, I think that will answer my question as well. It's always good to hear other opinions. Thanks a bunch for your input!

Are there other places for friendships to form for him? DS8's best buddy is a neighbor boy, and he has friends from pre-K, soccer, Lego League, and other extracurriculars. Again, nontraditional, but he's happy with it. (We also have a school-for-homeschoolers that has a lot in common with what you're describing in the private school, only bigger, so that has helped socially. But all his best friends are from places other than his stint at public school. And all these friendships have lasted.)

You might just have to be more like a homeschooler in the way you handle his social life. If you meet someone at the park who seems like a potential friend, give out your phone number or e-mail. It's not always easy, and it's very much like dating in that you have to be prepared to ask and be rejected. But it does ultimately work out if you keep asking.

Of course, it's also possible to say that you'll join the small school IF (and only if) they have an elementary class. That's perfectly fair!

I agree with Kriston. You have already made the decision to homeschool once. This comes with the same issues regarding friendships that the private school may have - more as there are no other children of any age. Also - maybe there are other parents who are waiting to join the small private school like you - if more elementary students join.
But as you say - maybe DS will fall in love with the Montessori.
Personally I am jealous as it sounds like you have three options - homeschool, montessori or private school. That makes you pretty rich in choices in my book! In the end you will make the right choice. And sometimes the right choice this year is not the right choice next year.
Let us know how DS likes the Montessori school!

Breakaway