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Well D, I know you have a test to write, sorry to keep at you but I just had to express one more thought

"Despite this, the same psych tested DS9 and DD10, and seemed convinced that DD10 would go further in life, given her complete package of strengths and weaknesses."

And I thought I was making a bold statement. No disrespect to DD10, and I'm sure she will go far in life, no doubt. But, how do you make a comparable prediction like that about 9 and 10 year olds?
With that said, on paper I was the scholastic weakling in my family from k-12. I was probably voted most likely to escape from prison one day........:)
In terms of "career success", I actually went further faster than anyone else in the family while I was working IRL.
All of your three kids seem awesome and will go on the do amazing things and have great lives,,,I mean, with a mom like you how could they not??
I think the most important thing is you know each one of your children and have made sure they each have an appropriate placement in terms of education. You're clearly paying attention to what goes on with them and that's just amazing parenting.

Will stay off subject now!!

Incog

Dottie - thank you for the guide on posting the pretties - I've been dying to know how to do it! What about the cute faces? Do they have an easy way too??

Incog - did you have to work the hardest in your family to obtain your successes? Did things come easier to everyone else? I have noticed that sometimes in those that everything comes easy to early in life, they don't have as much of a work ethic and aren't as successful later on in life as those with maybe not as much natural ability, but with a better work ethic. kwim?? I also think that when things come too easily it can make people not want to have to work at things because they aren't used to failing and if things don't come easily right at first, they don't want to try because they are afraid they might fail and this holds them back in life. Whereas for those who have to work hard at an earlier age aren't afraid of failing and therefore, try more things and maybe wind up more successful. Not in all cases of course, but sometimes.

As I read back over this I realize it is somewhat rambling but I don't know how to say it any better. Reading about your "most likely to escape from prison" (which I admit made me laugh) made me think about this. :-)

Well, I was just kidding about the most likely to escape from prison comment, and I was going for a cheap laugh!
However, I perpetrated more than my fair share of mischief, especially in Jr. High.
I'll try to answer your question, but I don't think any of these situations are straight forward or easily boxed in for any kids, let alone the gifted ones.
I think work ethic AND personality have a lot to do with anyone's success, but I'm not sure my work ethic is significantly more solid than anyone else's in my family.
It would probably be fair to say that I am the most strong willed. Maybe that's the key, who knows. I have a great work ethic when I decide I want to do something, KWIM?
That said, I think imposter syndrome, perfectionism and fear of failure are big concerns with gifted kids growing up, especially girls. But I also think the people posting on this board are extrememly attuned to what's going on with their kids, so any issues that may come up can be resolved.
Also, I'm not sure school came easier to my sibs,per se, but I'm pretty sure being able to tolerate boredom and frustration came more easily to them and that might have been the key. Again, that has more to do with personality. I will say if any child is easily bored, has low frustration tolerance, has ability to outsmart the teacher and knows it; well, that could be problematic in any school setting.
So, let's see if I can sum this up. If I had to attribute my lack of k-12 school success in relation to my intellectual ability to one thing it would be: Low frustration tolerance. However, if this had been recognized when I was young, I'm sure it could have become a non-issue with the right amount of help.
Success in college would probably be attributed to finally having something interesting to do.
Success in career as an adult: who knows? Maybe a combination or working smart and hard? A good friend of mine in business once told me that success was the ability to withstand repeated failure without losing your enthusiasm to be successful. I would agree with this. Actually, while I dropped out of the workforce to have kids, he kept on and is currently extremely, enormously successful. Did I answer your question? Or just rambling?

Incog

Very interesting reflection, Incog.

What you're saying here is precisely why raising resiliant kids is so important to me. It's also one of the reasons I worry so much about kids having everything come easily in school. If you never fail, it becomes hard to face failure and try again, hard to know what acceptable/necessary risk looks like, hard to make even a small mistake without feeling like you've lost your identity. That's not healthy.

I'm strong-willed, but I don't think I'm a very resiliant person. That is one of my greatest flaws, I think. I want my kids to "bounce back" better than I do.

As I said, interesting...

Incog - I knew you were kidding about the prison thing!!! And you did answer my question - thanks. Dottie, I'll try to restrain myself from going crazy with the commands so I don't end up in prison myself - LOL!!! I totally agree that people on this board are going to take care of problems with their kids. I wasn't even thinking about that - you know I think the people here are amazing and I am in awe of all of you!!!

Incog, your comment actually made me think about the people that have come and gone in my life and what they have made of themselves. I recently had my 20 year reunion and it was very interesting to see how some of the people you would have expected to change the world wound up doing basically nothing while others that weren't necessarily considered to be ones "most likely to succeed", really far out-shown lots of other people with their chosen careers - doctors and lawyers, etc. But success is determined in far different ways. Most people wouldn't consider me to be successful as I don't have a high powered job but I am doing what I love working part time and spending lots of time with my kids. So to me, I am successful. I know everyone defines success in different ways and that can't be put in a box either. Maybe success is being happy and content with where you are and what you're doing???

Kriston said I totally agree with this. I think experiencing failure doesn't have to be in an academic setting. It can be in sports or just losing a chess game to your parent. Kids can learn how to make those mistakes and then move on without it crushing their self esteem so that they are afraid to ever make a mistake.

Anyway, I definitely agree that people can't be boxed in and that personality does probably play a large part in how much you are willing to risk in order to try to succeed. I enjoy these kinds of musings and I appreciate that the people on this board with go there with me! I don't have anyone much in my non-internet life that I can talk about these kinds of things with! :-)