Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments How to find a school? help

IMHO - smaller is better when it comes to schools - especially in the lower grades.. Smaller class size makes a huge difference for everyone involved. I'd want to know the teacher to student ratio at any school considered.
For us sports are not that important. I realized early on that DS7 is more of an individual sport kid (skiing, biking, rock climbing). He now swims competitively year round and has made several good friends through that program. I found that certain sports attract different peer groups. Not to generalize but some sports, like swimming, seem to attract more educated families. And although our school is not a big sports school - DS has learned how to play soccer, field hockey and football in gym class already this year.
As far as location of school - our school is a 20 minute drive. We can't afford to bus so I spend 2 hours a day in the car. I keep school supplies handy so DS can do his homework and I love the extra time with him to just talk. I was dreading the drive but it actually turned into something we both enjoy. Plus I hear everything about his day.
I think peer group is so important in selecting a school. At PS DS was made fun of for liking Star Wars and science, and for not having video games. (We are old-school parents.) At our new school he role plays Star Wars at recess with his classmates and he's not the only child that doesn't have an Xbox. He just fits in there.
As for Blue Ribbon status - this is simply an award from the government that is tied to the NCLB act. Basically it means that the school's lowest performing students passed some standardized test a few years in a row. It has no effect on gifted programs. And on differentiated instruction - good concept. DI is the latest academic buzzword. If someone mentions DI ask them specifically how it's implemented in the classroom on a daily basis.
On schools - you may want to check out schools that use the Sudbury method. DS goes to a Friends School and we absolutley love it. Some Waldorf Schools may be worth a look too.
Best of luck!

The director of my son's school, which we love, tells everyone "We're not better, we're smaller." The student to teacher ratio at DS's school is 10:1, so the teachers are able to give each child a truly individualized education. It's like having a tutor, but in a group environment, and it's working wonderfully for us so far.

That's a very good point the ratio is very important. I will factor that in. I think I'm going to make a format for school interviews.

What exactly do you mean by this?

Being a good freind has not always been so easy for DS. Kids seem to like him but he feels a little outside the group. He has said kids will not get what he is talking about if he uses some words. He likes being around people. He can be a little shy sometimes. He gets his feelings hurt easily. He does best with organized sports where everything is fair. Playground time can be hard as it is crowed and disorganized. He has made a best friend this year who is smart. He does seem to hang with a few smart athletic type boys which is nice.

I try to guides decision by what would be best for him socially. I would comprimize some on the academics for a better social fit. If a school is closer to home and has athletics then that is a better social situtation. If he can stay with age group and get challenged that would be best. If he had to learn isolated from peers to get challenge that's not good socially.

I think my son sounds similar to yours in some ways.

My son was adamant he did not want to be grade accelerated because he enjoyed playing sport with his age mates. He is passionate about sport both as a participant and spectator. I think a part of it is the maths/statistics aspect of it.



My son also had a difficult time with this for a few of years. He expected lunchtime soccer etc to be played with professional rules. Unfortunately all the interventions instigated made no difference, it was something he eventually grew/matured out of.

So how did we find a good fit? Although we are in Australia perhaps you have schools of a similar structure near you. We are in a small rural town. The closest large town is 20 minutes away with numerous private and public schools with varying structure, so there was no shortage of choice. However we were very fortunate that the local school is a central school, public K12. The size of the school is about the same size as the nearby private boarding schools, Approximately 400 students across all grades. I believe size does play a part in allowing fexibility. My son was able to be subject accelerated with very little disruption. Initially when he started school he was extended in the classroom e.g when he started K he was reading at grade 5 level so he was given work appropriate for that age. Once he reached grade 3 all KLA's (key learning areas - english, maths and science) are timetabled concurrently up to grade 8 so the kids are grouped according to ability allowing him to work a number of years ahead. The school was able to continue this concurrent timetabling for him through to grade 12. I know there would have been no way the larger schools could have accommodated this. It was the concurrent timetabling that allowed my son to stay in his age grade as he wished and continue to be challenged.

You say that being a good friend has not always been easy for your son. By that do you mean he has had difficulty making friends?
My son is introverted and shy and from my perspective I see him as being on his own a lot of the time, even though he has his "sporting mates" he only occassionally mixes with them outside of school. I have worried about this in the past and continue to do so at times, but I wonder if it is my take on things as he is happy in his own company, at home anyway. Even though I know my son is content at school academically and athletically I know he has never found an intellectual peer there, at least not amongst the students.

It is such a delicate balance, compromise. How much will he really fit in socially given his giftedness and how happy will he be if he is not challenged?

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

matmum - "You say that being a good friend has not always been easy for your son. By that do you mean he has had difficulty making friends?"

I don't think he has a hard time making friends. I think he has a hard time being satisfied with the interactions. He does best in organized activites and one on one with well behaved children. He says he bugs kids but I'm not sure what he does.

Kids seem to like him. They are drawn to his ideas. Ex.s: He got kids together to write a story at recess. He made his own trading card and got kids to join in and do these too. There are lots of examples like this.

But in his head he feels a bit outside. He says kids don't get some stuff and don't stick with some activies like him. He is glad finally after 2 yrs at his school somebody in his class play chess. He feels lots of kids are mean. His feelings get hurt often. His feelings are bigger than normally expected. (We are working on this)He can be intense, very driven and forget about the others person's feelings.

On the playground he wants to join in the football game and is welcomed. It usually turns into dissappointment and he then leaves himself out. There are so many kids he doesn't know the teams. He doesn't get much ball time. The cheating bothers him too. Sometimes he just wanders by himself. He has tried bringing his won football but it still gets to be too much.

The neighbor kids come to get him to play and he asks what are they going to do and he decides if it's right for him or not. He does not like there roughness sometimes.

Kids seek him as the expert sometimes too. Ex. how to take care of pramantis found in yard. We have a book about backyard nature.

Sometimes he takes several weeks breaks from playing with the neighbors.

I'll add that the big hurdle is between zero friends and one *real* friend. It sounds like your son does well socially, but isn't finding the deep connection with someone that he desires. That's a common problem for GT kids. Finding one person who "gets" you makes all the difference, and having lots of acquaintances doesn't fill the same need.

I confess, that's one reason why I'm skeptical of sports as a big social help. Other than giving a GT child exposure to more people--which as Dottie rightly notes offers more chances to find other GT kids--I don't think sports tend to be wildly useful opportunities for making good friendships. They're great for other things: giving GT kids a chance to work at something, teamwork, "stick-to-it-iveness," etc. And certainly there are some good friendships that were forged in sports, but I don't think of sports as terribly fertile ground for those *deep* friendships that GT kids crave.

I'd be looking for one or two kids who really get your son and he them. Even if you don't see the other families all the time, if your son has the experience of clicking with someone, it will really help him, I suspect.

FWIW...

That's great.

Thanks for all the insight.

He has made a buddy this year who is close intellectually. (I think?) They are going to do an independent study together on this other child's suggestion - Microbiology. It's amazing, how does 9 yrs old boy think of that?

I feel like relationships keep getting better. I'm not too worried for him. I do think he will always feel a bit different. I think he just has to grow into his personality more and appreciate his indivuality. Being so capable is a good thing. I think if we can balance his educational challenge and he can continue to do the sports he will gain more confidence. Both are important to him. He's a little out of balance wanting to be little boy with such high intelligence. His maturity will catch up with lots of encouragement.