Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Uh oh....

Ds6 went to the Montessori school (where he's to attend full-time beginning Jan. 5). He's always liked it before, but today was his first full day there (just a mini-visit). He was happy to see me when I got there to pick him up this afternoon and on the verge of tears. Evidently he'd been asking for me and was teary-eyed all afternoon. He's been for a couple of visits before, but he was always happy. In fact, last time he didn't want to leave. Today, he complained that the day dragged on and on. Please God let this not be a mistake. I know it was just one day, but we need something that's going to work. The teacher had no complaints at all, but ds said he didn't like it anymore. Now that we've laid down thousands of dollars, he's going to have to suck it up and give it a shot. I want him to tell me how he feels, but I also don't want him to get the impression that if he's not completely enthralled every minute of every day, that he can just give up. Just venting...it sort of took the wind out of my sails because it has seemed so good. Oh well, hopefully it's just a fluke and next time will be better. Maybe this rainy weather just affected his mood. He said he was sleepy all day, but he used to say that when he was bored at his old school!

maybe he was missing you?

too simplistic an answer, I know, but maybe the reality of not being with you and being in school all day (any school) is sinking in now more than before...

How responsive do you think the teachers will be about meeting his learning needs? Why do you think they might not have been as responsive as they could have been today?

One day does not a bad fit make. <reassuring smile>

Ouch. When is he going next time?

It may have to do with him not having any friends there, yet. Perhaps perhaps he realized that's it for the next few months and he started thinking about all the other things he would miss.

Don't let that get to you unless it repeats.

Is there a way you could arrange a short play date with a current student? Maybe the teacher can help with a compatable suggestion. I would suggest somewhere that is a easy situation like your home if sharing is not hard or somewhere that he feels comfortable like the library.

A book called, "The kissing hand" helped my kids with learn how to miss a Mom. Sometimes giving a child something of yours to have with them can help.

HOw about a picture of you on a keyring attached to his school bag to look at during school. If he is missing you at school can he make a picture and tell you about his feelings.

I use to make a paper heart for my son for many months during preschool and then I'd kiss it and leave a lip stick mark. Eventually, he told me he did not need it anymore.

I hope it is better next time. good luck. Let us know how it goes.

Hi,
My son did kinda the same thing. He loved preschool for the first week or so, but then the second week he started having separation issues. I think he really thought preschool was fun, but it just never occurred to him that this going-to-school thing was a long-term deal. A few days of fun, great. Weeks of going to school, not quite what he was bargaining for!

In the end, it just took some time. I did speak with the teacher to see if she could quickly engage my DS in some fun activity right after we walked in the door, and that distraction did help. Also, my DS just got in the routine and learned that preschool was less of a playdate and not exactly optional.

That being said, I agree that maybe you should talk to the teacher about what you see going on and see if you both could brainstorm some ideas for keeping him stimulated throughout the day. This might be especially important now, and in the beginning of January, when he's not likely to know all the fun things he can do. I bet if the teacher could take time to notice when your DS has "downtime" and his energy might be flagging, then she could maybe help direct him to another activity or some friends so that time passes more quickly. Maybe this type of proactive approach would help.

One other thing: when my DD was in a Montessori program there was a chart on the wall that showed how each child was progressing through their list of skills. DD, being the type who liked a challenge, was always trying to progress through the steps, while other kids were just content to "work" without regard for progress. If your DS's class has such a chart, maybe they could add his name to the list, which would then give him goals to work toward each day, which might keep him progressing at a level that is fun and appropriate for him.

HTH!