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Well, confused, you aren't confused in this area. I believe that the difference between what we can imagine and what we get is a gifted related variation on perfectionism, that I can "Dissonance." Part of what feed it is that so few of us have had enought experience with resonable references. I know I'm not the only one here who compared themselves to characters in books, which is natural for us, because the only person who was remotely "like me" was to be found in my reading.

What we are trying to do with our children is "get them hooked on the rush of achieving after hard work." That's from Dr. Robin Scader over at UConn, are really wonderful resource. We deserved to have had someone guiding us in that direction as well. It is a rush, and a shame to go through life without. It isn't the only goal in life. Having balance is another biggie. Most folks get one, but not the other, although I don't think it has to be that way.

Trinity

Bump - I just love this thread.

Who could have imagined where this thread would go?
Very amusing and entertaining. BTW, I certainly haven't been creeped by anyone here.
Grinity, have a great AWK and Merry Christmas, you'll be missed while you are gone!
To everyone else, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukaah(sp?), Happy Kwanza and have an excellent winter holiday!!!!!!

your very culturally open-minded pal,
Incog

OMG, this was supposed to be posted under the "INVISIBLE" thread, I haven't started dipping into the Christmas punch yet, I promise

Ugh! I've spent the whole day addressing cards, baking cinnamon bread, helping the kids paint aprons and hats and tote bags for gifts, wrapping hats and tote bags and scarves and shirts, packing boxes, packing suitcases...I'm EXHAUSTED!

Dottie, Incog, pass me a glass, would you please?! I need it!

Shoot, I'm really having PMS so for that reason alone could I have some too?

Grinity I'm glad you bumped this, I missed it somehow before. I am definitely guilty of this. I feel like I know what the ideal response/behavior should be in most instances and when that isn't what happens it makes me feel bad/sad/less than what I think I should be or what I think the situation should be. I have spend a lot of time feeling like I could have done/said something better to make the outcome more as I thought it should be. I've gotten better about it as I've gotten older though but I still tend to second guess myself, especially in my conversations with people. I'm never sure I am coming across as I mean to.

To quote Grinity "I know I'm not the only one here who compared themselves to characters in books, which is natural for us, because the only person who was remotely "like me" was to be found in my reading."

I'd love to know who you compared yourself to! I don't know if the characters in the books I compared myself to were like me or if they were just like who I wanted to be. I loved "Anne of Green Gables" and her wild imagination and Meg with her intelligence and courage from "A Winkle in Time" (still don't know how to underline) as well as tons of others. I was more the shy, bookish girl who lived adventurously through the books I read. (((smiles))) You've brought back some great memories! :-)

This is so fun to find people like me!

Yes, I lived though books--and I fully threw myself into whatever I read. When I was in college, every Christmas break I hid in my room and read all the Chronicles of Narnia, in chronological order of course! To me, I was actually in Narnia, and it always startled me when my mom would knock on the door to call me back into this world for dinner. I don't really remember having one person to whom I compared myself. I remember immersing myself in and experience every book I read. Maybe that's why I enjoy historical books so much--I always feel transported back in time and feel like I have experienced living there at that time.

Once I felt interested in doing missions work in other countries, I read a number of biographies of people who had done that. There were two women who had gone to Africa who really caught my attention, but I remember wanting to be like the woman who was married, and NOT like the one who was single!

My dd has been getting lost in fantasy books this year. I read most of them with her, and it is fun. She likes them because she loves to imagine herself with amazing powers like being able to fly. I'm having a hard time getting her to read a variety of books, though--she doesn't feel like she can exercise her imagination with historical or historical fiction or other types of books. I think she'd like to be a super-hero!

Hum -
Anne Frank, Dagny Taggart from 'Atlas Shrugged' (at age 13!) Ozma of Oz, who BTW grew up as a boy named Tip, Rhyme and Reason from 'The Phantom Tollboth,' Aunt Beast in 'Wrinkle in Time.' also Hesse's Siddartha and the narrator in 'The Prophet.' And Captain Kirk.

Can you guess that I might have judged myself a bit harshly?

Grinity

Wow, Grinity - Rhyme and Reason and Aunt Beast, huh? I'm not familiar with some of the other characters but those are very nurturing characters who bring great wisdom and growth to the other characters in their books. Kind of like you do here!!! :-)

Kathi, my DS would only read Goosebumps for about a year and it worried me that he wasn't broadening his horizons. After he tired of them though, he has turned to all kinds of things! Currently he is loving mysteries (my personal favorite) and all other sorts of things. I'm sure your daughter will branch out eventually but it has to be fun to be a superhero for a little while!! LOL!