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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207 |
You are getting there Dottie, you just need a few diffent 'elevator speechs' for the various situations that come up. Practice, Practice, Practice!
I don't know where we got the idea that every social interaction is supposed to be generated fresh on the spot - I think about it more like the 'other guy' mufflers on the old Midas compercial - they have a few basic models and then take the attitude of "We'll MAKE it fit!"
Smiles, Grinity
Last edited by Grinity; 12/20/07 04:28 AM. Reason: typo -we'll started as well.
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145
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I have the same sort of problem with our situation, Dottie. People wonder why DS6--who looks 8--is with me during the day, or they ask him where he goes to school...and we haven't done a very good job of coming up with an "elevator speech" to explain the situation. Obviously we say "homeschooling," but I haven't come up with anything succinct for the questions that follow.
Good advice, Grinity! I'll work on it, too!
Kriston
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,134
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Dottie - I wish I knew the answer! I really struggle with this. So many people come up to me and ask how 1st grade is going and I stammer every time because I don't know where to take it. 40% of the kids at our school are tagged GT and I haven't found a parent there I talk about this openly with. I volunteer in the classroom once a week and DS really is "out there". Which at the beginning of the year, I had no idea where we were at.
There is not much enrichment at our school, but a parent of a girl in my son's class has volunteered to lead a jr. great books group with kid's reading at or above 2nd grade level. So there are 5 kids that do this every 2 weeks in his class. This little group is kept very quiet. As well as the "challenge math group" the teacher operates. And even the challenge 3rd grade spelling words. You'll never hear about them unless they come home with your child. I'm sure there are parents in the classroom who will never know about any of this. She sends home a newsletter every week full of the stuff done by the main curriculum. Obviously, by design. Interesting.
Anyway - I too am also very grateful for the existence of this board! I also wish the world would get over it. But since I'm still so new to this world, I still feel like I'm getting over it!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,231
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FWIW, I don't share info with anyone except two other mom's who have HG/PG children and this board. We live in a community where people move here specifically for the gifted programs. People are extremely competitive about how smart their child is. Many people think their child is the smartest child they have ever seen. If they meet a child that challeges that idea............well, let me just say I've had a few parents approach me and want their child to be friends with DD7. After spending a little time around her, they slowly back away. She is a lovely child, sweet, no behavior problems. She just spooks people sometimes. My two BFF's with pg kids go to different schools within the district, so it's nice. I'm just not competitive, sometimes I wish DD's were not so different KWIM? I don't talk to other parents about what the girls are doing because I find it counterproductive in terms of the girls socializing. If you've never been to Kenya, you couldn't describe the terrain or subtleties of the local culture, right? Just last week my BFF mom at school started asking me pointed questions about a highly secret ability grouping going on for six in the grade. Then she started asking me to name kids. I lied and told her I didn't know anything about it. After she left, I felt like I'll never have a friend around here.
Oh well, Incog
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 312
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My problem is on the other end of the spectrum. My DD acts so "normal" that I had to convince my DD's father that she is indeed EG.
Even after he had the IQ results he still insisted that Sarah was "certainly bright but not gifted". We ended up in court (DD's father and I are divorced) where a judge had to rule that DD was "Extremely gifted" and declared my DD "A special needs child" under some sort of California Family Code. My Ex felt that DD being in a school for the gifted was "elitist". A court had to tell him that it was not a choice to be attending that school, that it was a need. He doesn't get her at all, specially when she has her "normal" age appropriate tantrums!!
On the other hand, my DD can go unnoticed in social situations. She does tend to make friends on the older side but because she is very tall for her age (99% in height) it is not obvious that she is younger. When she is with her friends, she loves to talk about Hannah Montana and High School Musical just like any other girls her age. She does favor boys rather than girls as close friends (she likes sports).
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,231
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I love people like you!!! You are a true system buster, gifted people around the world thank you!!! I wish my parents had stood up to for me the way you did for your daughter. You are a mom rock star. Incog
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 516
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Incog - the people at my kid's school are extremely competitive too. I just don't play that game either. At least you have 2 good friend's with kids in similar situations so you do have someone to talk to. But I'm sure it is hard not being in the same boat as most of the other parents at school and feeling like you can't discuss it with anyone.
Dottie - I am the "average MG parent" too and sometimes the talk on this board amazes me and makes me question whether I really belong here or not. But I do enjoy talking with people who have some of the same experiences as I do.
bianc - wow! Good for you standing up for your child! You are amazing!
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 312
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EandCmom: I am not amazing, I am just lucky to have an amazing child, but thanks.
Incogneato: As Dr. Laura would say "we have two chances in life, one as a child and one as a parent". You ARE standing up for your child, therefore taking that second opportunity as a parent of a special child.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,231
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Thank you, bianc. eandcmom: You absolutely belong here. Dottie, thanks, but don't feel too bad. I am convicted in my belief that I should stand up for my child, even at personal cost. At the end, when I look back, I won't be remembering any of the moms who get weird. You all know what I'll be thinking of cause you all will be having the same happy memories. I know what I'm doing and I'm happy I'm doing it . Besides, no one could feel isolated with such awesome I-BFF's! Incog
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,134
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That's how our district feels - highly competitive to many parents. Our school has a huge highly involved parent base. The GT magnet that we're trying to get into, a lot of the parents are hyper competitive, even if their kid is performing at grade level and over 1/2 the kids down there are. And that is just so not me. But the teachers and admin down there really "get" GT kids. And they probably get their parents too. It's the hyper competitive ones that give the rest of us a bad name.
My kid is also a kid that totally blends. He occassionally slips into geeky mode and throws out a random dissertation, but generally he blends. He is socially quite happy with school. He has groups of kids working on snow forts and role playing the spiderwick chronicles at recess. If only it were just gym and recess! I'm still trying to work on DH's denial. I wish he could volunteer in the classroom a few times. That really slaps you in the face with it.
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