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What is your son's personality? Is he normally shy except around people he is very familiar with?

My son, now 16, very rarely participates in class discussions etc,never has and it is always mentioned on his reports as an area in which he could improve (even with the teachers with which he has a wonderful rapor).Somehow I don't think that is going to happen! He has never liked to "stand out" and will therefore not willingly draw attention to himself.

You mention that they don't think he is participating the they thought he would. Are you also surprised by this apparent lack of participation?

Do you think that your son isn't participating because he's bored and has just tuned the lesson out? Is he shy? I can't believe that they wouldn't let you guys even try EPGY in the classroom. But it is good news that he's getting good books sent home!

I'm sorry, SPG. If there's anything I can do to help, it's yours.

Keep us updated, Jamie B.

So sorry SPG. Poor little guy.

Sorry SPG. That's so frustrating, hopefully things will improve as they get to go know him better. I totally agree Jamie B about tuning out lessons. It is hard to participate in conversations in the classroom that are so simplistic. My son had that problem as well. Although he would raise his hand and say dumb things. He clearly knew everything they were talking about...but had to make jokes out of things to at least keep himself interested. Thankfully he has gotten better about it and they have gotten better about letting him opt out of discussions and things that are clearly not needed for him.

Usually, our DS wants to be the center of attention. If there's something he wants to say, he says it. He is usually pretty outgoing. But he did not participate much in preschool either. Sometimes I think it's basically just a big difference in interests of the kids.


I was very surprised. He usually likes to show what he knows. Although, I think he might also not want to stand out. So that might be an issue.

Thanks everyone for your support!

Jamie B - I also wish you good luck in your decision about homeschooling. In an ideal world, I think that would be a serious option for us. I agree with Kriston that if you add up all the time one kid in a class of 25 spends learning, it's quite small. Most of the time is spent moving from one activity to another, one classroom to another, lining up, playing outside, snack, lunch, etc. And if you're giving one-on-one attention to a student, the amount of time necessary is much shorter than trying to teach 25 kids at different levels of ability.

I'm starting to remember how DS hated being asked things he already knew when he was younger. He would give silly answers instead. Maybe a bit of this is coming back.

I'm glad your DS's teachers are letting him opt-out of some things.

Why does this have to be so hard!?

For us, I kept getting phone calls and emails that DS7 then 6 was blurting out the correct answers all the time. They wanted him to show restraint and respect for other kids before they would advance him. He was viewed as impulsive. Soooo frustrating to be on either end of this! I really feel for you SPG and Jamie B.

St. Pauli - I'm so sorry to hear it's not going so well. So much of that sounds familiar.

I hope doing EPGY at home will generate some more evidence that he needs some acceleration quickly. I'm glad he doesn't fight on the way in though! Keep us posted and vent if you have to.