Well, we are joining the ranks of the disappointed group here. We met with the school staff re: possibly having DS5 do online EPGY accelerated math while the other kids are learning letters or basic math. It turns out that DS5 has not been showing them his abilities in school (or else they're not seeing it). Their hearts are in the right place, but their reasons for DS not being ready to do the accelerated program don't match up with the program itself. Lots of stuff about social well-being, and all-around development (including large-motor skills). We mentioned that we were talking 20-30 minutes, but that didn't help. I think the big thing is that for some reason DS is not participating or talking in class the way they thought he would. So if they're not seeing it, I guess I can see why they would be hesitant to give him anything different, but we've got to figure out why he's not showing them what he knows.
Another big disappointment is that the teacher, who I really like a lot, does not seem to get that DS does not and will not know the answers to everything that she asks him, especially when she is asking some very advanced things. She told us she was surprised he didn't know the answer to a 3rd grade type math question. We told her we wouldn't expect him to know that - he has never had any formal math training, but that he loves math and wants/is ready for a regular formal math curriculum (he's probably at 2nd grade level in most math). I suggested they do some end-of-year assessments to see where his abilities lie. Random questions that seem destined for him to fail do not seem appropriate.
There are some good things though. The teacher has gotten DS to write and spell, which he refused to do for us at home. He's gone from nothing to pretty decent. And he's reading aloud to us with more confidence. And they're sending home appropriate reading materials. And there's a neat little problem-solving pullout.
The worst part is that they don't see him as having well developed expressive speech. This was the big shocker because DS's large vocab and highly advanced language skills are what people notice about him. In fact, we didn't even talk about that with the school because we thought it was so obvious. They are not seeing the same kid we are. (This might be related to DS's lack of certain sounds plus perfectionism. He might be embarrassed to say certain words if he can't say them correctly. Happily, DS just qualified for speech therapy, so I hope that helps, and it's not that he's just checked out already.)
So we've decided to get EPGY at home, and report to the school how he's progressing. Maybe if they see some of the reports from that program on his abilities, they will believe that he's ready. Another reason I wanted him to be able to do this at school is that DS does not like school much, expect gym, computer, and library, and I thought he'd really like to do some math (he asks for math problems at home all the time). I said at the meeting that I guess it's pretty common for k'ers to not want to go to school (I know I didn't), but from the looks on their faces, I'm guessing it's not really all that common. They said I told them he was happier, and I said, yes he is - I no longer have to drag him to the car, he walks willingly.
Sorry so long. I am disappointed, but hopeful because I think the teachers/principal all want the best for our DS, and they are a really great bunch of people. Since I like them all, it makes the disappointment harder to swallow, I guess.
I hope that the teacher can get less stressed so that everybody has a good day!
But if you don't have a good fit, don't let homeschooling scare you. It sounds like something that might work with your situation IF (big if!) you want to try it. Having your parents around to help here and there could be a big help to you.