Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Hothousing vs. Gifted (learning letters/sounds)

I think others were worried about the potential for judging others. So often parents of GT kids are thought to be hothousing, even when that's not what's happening.

I think no one meant offense, samson11. I'm sorry you feel jumped on. I think this may just be a nerve for the collective audience you're writing to. You know?

I definitely don't think you're the only person who is unsure about the differences and similarities between hothousing and child-led accelerated learning. It's a common topic for discussion here. I suspect the problem is in the specifics that you mentioned--this one woman's case--that bothered people.

But maybe I'm off-base...

Wait, what? You mean I sold those DVDs when I could've gotten refunds?

In all seriousness though, hothousing is an act and being gifted is a trait, so in reality, can you even compare the two?

And maybe the mother of this child chooses only educational toys because she is not aware of the positive affects of playing with those that are not marketed as such. The part that might be the issue in R's post is the intentions behind the mother's reasons, which is again back to master of none's comments.

And finally, DSalmost6 would choose a Monster Truck over a globe, as his favorite gift, but to me that doesn't make him any less gifted than one who chooses a globe (and I'm just using this as the example since it was given) who has identical test scores, same age, etc. Loving to learn and being gifted aren't the same thing.

sorry to jump on ya' R - I was confused.

In my book, calling someone a helicopter type parent just isn't ever anything but an insult.

Anyway, your question makes more sense in context of your playgroup.

When I try to figure this out scientifically, I look at the research done on IQs of twins raised seperatly. My understanding of the research is that it's strong, but not perfect, and shows that Adoptive moms with higher IQs than their adopted kids can raise the IQ a few points, compared to the 'other twin' but that over time the IQ's of the twins converge, and the effect is lost. I interpret that to mean that the child brings their own likes and interests into the environment and shape the environment.

Now that I understand the question, I agree that it is an intersting one.

Love and More Love and opps, sorry!
Grinity

I'm sorry that you felt attacked. I've felt like I've had to defend my parenting the whole 5 years that my DS has been alive I've been accused of pushing (because how else could he know what he does) as I'm sure a lot of parents here have been. This just strikes a nerve with me

If the child really is gifted that will come out at some point. The guy that tested my son said that they are reluctant to test kids under 5 because of just what you've said. Parents think their child is gifted because they know this or that when it's only because they've been exposed to it.

Again sorry!

I think a lot of people here have been judged by others on the basis of what their children can do. I know I have. I have had a school district treat me like a pushy mom and then get very uncomfortable when their assessment tests proved that what I had been saying was right. The idea of judging another mom on her toy choices sort of falls under that umbrella.

However that wasn't what you were talking about. Your question is actually a very valid one. How CAN you tell between children that are being pushed and children that are gifted? For example if you run a group/school/whatever that only allows in gifted children knowing this would matter a lot especially if testing wasn't an option (age, funds, etc...).

I have worked with a lot of kids in my life and what I've noticed is that it's a matter of quality, not quantity. You can show any kid the alphabet often enough and they will eventually get it. You can show many/most gifted kids the alphabet a couple of times and they will have it down. Ditto for numbers, math, topics of interest, etc... The gifted kid will not only pick up the alphabet, but then point out the letters around the house or start to sound out words. When they are little there is almost an insatiable hunger to soak in more information.

Play tends to be different as well. Imaginative play often starts earlier and level of detail is much higher. There is often a great obsession with one or two topics at a time. They also seem to NEED more stimulation than other kids.

Example: Almost all kids can and will learn to read. Most kids start to sound out words and read low level readers through K-1. My son had a few sight words at 3, but then taught himself to read in one month shortly after he turned 4 and is now reading around 2nd/3rd grade level at 5 yrs old.

Unless you spend time with the children without the parents around it can be hard to tell gifted from trained. Anecdotal stories from the parent showing learning initiative on the part of the child (like the one above) are a hint. If you can observe the child playing with others of the same age who you know are on the normal development track, you can look for use of concepts more advanced than those of the playmate, more intricacy in the games, more imagination, more leaps of logic, etc... Also look for expressions of empathy and compassion beyond their age.

Hope that helps a little.

One of the earliest signs I saw with my particular HG+ child was an incredible persistence when he was interested in something. He learned his letters early--he had most of them down by 14 or 15 months--but not because he'd seen them once or twice. He had wooden alphabet puzzles that he OBSESSED over! He'd play with them every waking moment if I let him. I'd try to put them away and get him to play with something else--anything else!--but he'd throw a fit if he couldn't use his puzzles. He HAD to learn how to put the puzzles together AND what the letters were. I think the complexity of the problem the puzzles posed to him were why he loved them so much. It was all he wanted to do, and he would not be dissuaded.

Most toddlers that age are far more distractible than that.

He did something similar with learning to spin those stackable plastic "donuts" made by Fisher Price. We adults would spin them on the floor for fun, and DS8 apparently decided wanted to learn how. For days, for hours at a time, he would practice his technique until he was far better at spinning the rings than anyone else. I'm not sure he was a year old at the time. There was no way he had the eye-hand coordination to learn this "skill," but he was so focused on it that he managed it, and he figured out a better new technique that none of the adults in his life used.

So DS8 didn't exactly learn things faster at his young age--speed has never been his strong suit! But he zeroed in on things that were really much too hard for a kid his age and he worked on them until he learned them, no matter how hard the adults in his life tried to keep him from them.

He's probably not the stereotypical HG+ kid, though... (If there is such a thing! LOL!)

(And before anyone asks, he's not on the autism spectrum. He was just smart enough to get that there were things he didn't yet know, and focused enough to chase after them until he learned them.)

Just another take...

Hence the almost all comments!

Oh and I've definitely noticed the determination and focus compared to ND kids also.

Oh, yes, Wyldkat. My post wasn't intended as a criticism of yours. Just a reflection on my own child.

Now that he's older, he does pick up on things after only a couple of exposures. But when he was younger, that's not how I would have described him. I'd have talked about his persistence and his laser-like focus.

It's ok, I didn't take it as a criticism. There really is no way to classify our kids at even close to 100%! I was sort of trying to say that in my post with all the almosts, but never got around to actually saying it.

This was my DD. She found some little board books for letters and became obsessed with them at age 6 mths. Hours of 'What's this?' and 'What's that?' as she would bring the book over for us to go through. I really had no idea that she was learning the alphabet but by 9 mths she made it clear that she knew all her letters and a few months later she knew all the sounds each letter makes. There is just an intensity with the HG+ kids. Their attention spans are amazing. We would sit in awe over DD's ability to be absorbed in something and wouldn't move from that task for 20 to 30 minutes. And this was when she was still a baby. As she got older her attention span just got longer and with her imagination she can spends hours entertaining herself.

I don't think I could say she showed what your son did with the spinning of the rings because we have a perfectionist and she expects to just be able to do it the first time which I think has been part of our problem when it came to potty training. It was not until recently when I talked to her about practicing and how with practice she will find it comes easier that we turned the corner. And when she finally gave in to that idea she was potty trained in less than a week. But what a struggle it has been to get her to even try.

I also want to say that I think what has been described has more to do with kids that are in the higher range of gifted and if a child does not show this intensity it doesn't mean they are not gifted or even HG+ because it isn't easy to lump them all in one category. I remember reading some posts in reference to Ruf's book and how a lot of parents with HG+ kids did not see the signs during infancy that Ruf talks about which is yet more proof that every child is an individual.