Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Parenting an intense child through deep questions.

Here's a deep one:

DS 7 asked us if there was a Santa Clause. I thought I'd be smart and ask him what HE thought.

He replied: I know there has to be a Santa because my mom and dad would never lie to me.


eeerrrrrrr! Now we've done it!

Lol, that's exactly why we've never "done" these stories. However, I have to wonder, was there a wicked gleam in his eye?

First off, I should tell you I'm not a parent, but a teacher, gifted individual and son of a gifted father. That said...while I was more thoughtful than emotional about them, I asked questions like this, and my dad's strategy was always to engage with me and wonder about the question himself, rather than trying to answer it. Maybe we would try to answer it together, maybe we would discuss possibilities, maybe we would come to the conclusion that it couldn't be answered - but just talking about it from the same perspective was a bonding experience. Gifted kids do look to their parents for security, but they grow out of expecting their parents to have all the answers pretty young.

Speaking as a teacher, by the way, I love kids who give me questions that don't have answers. It takes a special kind of person (at any age) to wonder about things like this.

I agree with you. I myself was never "gifted" during my school years but have come to find out through my son who is very gifted that I am "gifted" in my own way. He is very factual/tech. I am very emotional/artistic. My way of seeing things is interesting to him and the debate that comes out of that difference is what has made us so close. He teaches me what I never understood before in Alegbra and Science. I teach him how what he does relates to people and how to look outside of the box. He stopped asking me for the answers to the universe when he was about 4 so I definately understand your experiences with your father. Thanks for sharing!

I just joined a few minutes ago because of this post and thread! My son, now 8, has been asking me "I don't know why I am me" and "I don't why I am here ... what's my purpose?" for a couple of years (maybe since 6). I am so thankful to find others that are experiencing such intensity in a small child. Unlike your little girl, (I think) he has made many statements about wanting to die. We finally made the decision to take him to a psychologist who officially declared him gifted, but at risk for major depression. He is now in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for positive self-talk practice. As for the philosophical questions, I started asking him to repeat his thoughts so that I could write them down because "there is probably no one else out there thinking these very unique ideas" and when we discover the answers - he could possibly share them with the world. He seems take comfort in that approach. Of course, I still don't have the answers. And I probably never will. But... maybe our kids will someday??!!Thanks so much for posting this - I really did think we were the only ones out here with these "different" thoughts!

Oops - meant to post this on another thread - sorry! I'm a newbie!

Nope, I got it right the first time - didn't see page one !! (Obviously, I'm not too gifted, right? LOL!)

I'm glad to hear the post was helpful for you.
We haven't had the wanting to die statements, but she has been asking death questions since she turned 3. I actually do believe she is at risk for depression as she ages. I'm glad to hear that self-talk is helpful.

Tammy

I really don't feel expertised to comment but...

We just can't explain everthing in life. That's ok. Take comfort in your parents are here to help. Everything will not be perfect but we can still make the most of each day and enjoy life.

I revived this thread. Hoping for more input ... for more hope. It is so very difficult to answer these questions when I didn't find answers myself. The emptiness of the answers and the struggle with the vastness.

My DC of ~5 wanted to know if the days will end. I asked for clarification to make sure child was actually asking that. Then told child, yes, there is always a new day. It breaks my heart knowing there will be more deeper serious questions coming.