Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Kindergarten 2009-2010

I think it's more of a fear of problems. He never really talks about playing with the other kids but he doesn't talk about much of anything. One day he told me that the kids were all hitting him but later told me that he was just making up a story so I hope that's all that it is. I've heard other kids call him weird but never to his face and he's never mentioned anything about it. I think that even if he heard them say it he'd laugh it off.

Anyone you can ask?

I have a couple of parent friends I trade info with. One just called to ask me about a potential class bully, actually...

I don't really know any of the other parents but if he says anything of the sort again I'm going to go in and talk to the teacher.

Good call, I think. It would be nice to get some info under the radar if you could strike up a conversation with someone somehow. But failing that, it sounds like something to keep an eye on.

I hope it's just random kid silliness.

Another ray of hope, albeit a rather confused one because I couldn't get all the details straight from DS5 today...

Before DS5 got on the bus today, he was lamenting the fact that school was so easy. He said he wanted harder math. I encouraged him to self-advocate and even talked about why that was best. I said, "If *I* tell her to make your math harder, she might think I'm pushing you."

"You mean she might think you're forcing me to do math?"

"Yes. Is that what's happening?"

"No. I like to do math. It's coming from me."

Then we talked about what he could say to his teacher and when and where to say it. I don't want him to interrupt a group lesson or anything! And we talked about not making the other kids feel bad because he'd like a greater challenge. It was a pretty good 2-minute talk!

When he got home from school, he said it was a good day. He got to do some harder arithmetic. He said that he did talk to his teacher. That same day, perhaps in response to his request(?), the class--apparently the whole class and not just him, so no differentiation--were asked some addition and subtraction, though he didn't give me much in the way of details about this, and the teacher asked what 9x9 was. I got more details about this part because he was kind of excited about it. According to DS5, he was the only one who knew the answer. Another boy took what sounds like a wild guess (14 was his answer) and was wrong. Then DS5 was called on and he knew. It sounded like they were the only two who raised their hands.

If this had been more of a 1-on-1 thing, I'd be taking it as GREAT news. But since she asked the whole class, I'm not sure what it means. Was it in response to DS5's request or just a coincidence? Was she trying to see how unusual DS5 is? Was it just a random question she thought no one would be able to answer and he surprised her? Was it something else entirely and because I'm getting half the story from DS5, I'm totally missing the point?

I'm betting on the latter for now...

At least it seems like he's okay with self-advocacy and that she may well be responsive to it. That would be a good thing!

Kriston - I think it sounds like very good news! Especially the part about your son self-advocating and telling you he had a good day. But what I'm thinking the teacher was doing was differentiating in a pretty decent way. I have been told that teachers who are good at differentiating can do it without anyone else noticing it's happening. I think this is probably easier to do with reading/language arts than math, but I would take it as a sign that she noticed and is starting to do something about it. Hopefully, she will take it further and give your son more appropriate math in more substance. Or if she doesn't do this on her own, you can always chat with her about what your DS told you: "DS told me that you had given some multiplication in class, and he was really excited about it. I guess he's further along in math than I realized. Do you have any ideas about what to do for him?"

Oh - and I'm totally going to steal your well-thought out plan of discussing why, how and when to self-advocate.

I wonder if the teacher did it to see where he is, like you were saying. Maybe she didn't believe that he can do what he claims and that was her way of testing him out?

I got better info today. He has to be in the mood to talk about school or I get very little out of him. Once he is, though, I do get a pretty full account.

Apparently he asked her for harder math as soon as he walked into class. She gave him--and only him--the math problems at recess. I guess other kids were standing with them, and they answered, too, but the problems were really just for DS5.

He said he didn't get all of the addition right--multi-digit addition--but he did get all the multiplication right. (Including stuff like 60x60.)

So I guess the situation is actually better than I understood yesterday. Yay!

Hope the self-advocacy spiel works for both of us, SPG! So far so good from our end...

Do you think I should e-mail her to let her know how excited he was and how nice it is that she's so responsive to his needs? They're off from school today for election day, so I have time to survey you all.

GOOD!! I'd email her. That way she'll know that he talked about it and enjoyed it.

Well I guess today is a bad day.

I just got a call from the school counselor. DS had a sub today and got written up. I'm not exactly clear on how things work but when they get written up there's one type that just involves the school and another type where they get the state involved. The sub did the one where the state is involved and as they were walking to the office he threw a fit.

The counselor said that she can't suspend him today because the principal isn't there so she's going to try and stick him in another grade for the afternoon just to see if he can behave for the rest of the day. She doesn't know what happened because she wasn't in the classroom but the form says that he was disrespectful and wasn't listening. She though it had something to do with him not wanting to walk in line.

I'm thinking about going pick him up. When I talked to him he was whimpering and kept telling me that he just wants to come home. He hasn't had any meltdowns like this so far this year (last year he did) which makes me wonder what exactly went on in that classroom.