Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Help! Am I making a big pre-school mistake?

The "mama gut" is a wonderful piece of equipment and accurate 99.9% of the time.

Yeah...this is great!

That is terrific news about the new school! My son sounds a lot like yours. As a result of some famil moves, he attended two different preschools, Kindy in one place and then we moved again. What became clear was that he is selective about who he engages with. The second preschool wasn't much fun for him. It was hightly structured and... rather sterile. Well run, though. Some kids really loved it, but it didn't work for him, and there weren't many kids he could relate to. He met some other boys in kindergarten who while not academically similar, enjoyed his sense of humor and had simialr imaginations. Suddenly he started having a grand time with the kids - but he still wandered away to play by himself when he needed some quiet. All was well, socially, at least.

I hope your sons' new school does the same thing for your DS, and he finds children and teachers to connect with.

Well, it's been one week, and I think all is well. DS has shown some resistance to going to school ("I don't want to go," "Why do I have to go to school"), but I think that's normal for a child who doesn't like change. We haven't had any claims of extreme dislike, as we did with the previous school. When pressed if there's anything he doesn't like about the school, on Monday, he said, "there's nothing I don't like." Wednesday, I asked him what the best part of his day was, and he said "snack." When I asked him what the worst part of his day was, he said, "there is no worst part." Thursday morning he said he didn't like having to do things "gently," but that is his worst complaint so far. The teachers say that he is speaking with all of the children there, and so far, the environment is very nurturing. Time will tell if this is the "right" place, but so far, we are so happy! Thank you all for your insight!

Mama, I am so happy that things seem to be working out and that you are all happy so far. It is only normal to have a little resistance to change (I have two DS's who don't like change!), but very good news that there is no strong dislike of anything. Yay!

Trust your instincts. Your child may just need a little help socially. Help him out. Teach him out to make friends. Tell him its ok if some kids do not like him and that it is hard work to make friends.

DS4 is reading at the second\third grade level and no other kid in his class at his level of reading or math but it does not bother him when it comes to making friends. Friendship is more about caring and sharing and playing together nicely. For intellectaul stimulation we are there for him. We do not know what lies in the future but so far he seems more interested in what other kids can teach him like a new soccer trick or a new game or some interesting stories about their family, their birthdays etc. Just so you know he goes to a montessori school.

I just saw your post and am also in GA. My DS is 4.5. We have not found a proper fit, even in a Montessori. If your son is also a fast learner, you may want to ask the Montessori if they can keep up with it and continue to give him lesson after lesson. The one we tried was not able to; and they didn't have the man-power to keep him busy. You may take this post as from one who was desperate to find a good school fit for socialization only. He ended up with mostly non-age peers (younger) and the only time they socialized was at "recess," since they are to be quiet while working. Some Montessori's have GA-Pre-K programs as well, as ours did; but our teacher acted like a Mom and was wishy-washy with her discipline. My DS is strong-willed and needs to know his boundaries. They couldn't do it. My child is now traumatized and extremely upset with me because we were disciplining him when the fit was not good. They kept telling me that they just couldn't keep him busy enough...and we offered to give them materials when he finished his "lessons." He became extremely frustrated with everything. He also wasn't allowed to touch anything that he hadn't had a lesson on; and he didn't want to re-do the simple things they started him out with (like the other kids did). It was pretty much "been there, done that" with him. He did all they gave him and then tried to get out of the room to look for something else to do. Although my DS is strong-willed; he is generally compliant at home. I don't want to sound negative and hope that you found a great fit for him!!!; but as you can ask the regulars on here, see how he feels at around 6 weeks when the newness wears off. I wish you the best of luck and well-wishes. I am in Cherokee County if you are looking for a playdate.;) Shoot me a private message if you wish.

This was my story, to a T. The "wishing I wasn't born" etc. when it came to preschool and how much she despised it. Turned out it was a BAD fit for her and she was WAY under challenged. We pulled her out and put her in a more academically fit preschool (though I can't say it was enough for her, it was an improvement from where she was.) Things went well for the rest of the half of that school year and went well into the first half of the second year, then went sour again. We had a LONG hurdle to overcome again (enlisted in the help of a counselor, which was a WASTE of time, because everything they suggested I was already trying.) We stopped that and went at it ourselves again and progressed. Now, in elementary school, things are great!!!!! Preschool was just.... not enough but we stayed with our own age group, though she could easily accelerate, we are working within the current class to offer what she needs and so far so good. She's now in 2nd grade..... THIS TOO, SHALL PASS!

Well, my son still likes his new school! The teachers state that he is interacting well with the other children. They are also addressing his motor skills (which lag far behind his academic skills) and have made suggestions to us on how we can help him. While I don't know yet how long this will last, it is sooooo vastly different from his previous school. Mom0405 - that sounds great! I live in Gwinnett, we'll have to find a place somewhere in between. Bh - I'm sorry you had to go through this too! It's not fun, but like Kriston says, you have to go with your Mama gut!

Yippee! Great News!