Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Hothousing- did you, didn't you, will you?

Guilty as charged ! Probably also INCREDIBLE BRAGGER, since I made sure all new 7th grade teachers new exactly what Ghost is capable of and are challenging him appropriately. I can imagine the comments in the teacher's lounge the day after P/T conferences.

I also try to talk to other parents and ask them what they think about certain "problems" at the school, but most, or should I say all of them, DON'T CARE

A couple of weeks ago I got a phone call from a mom that I spoke to one month into the school year, about LA teacher that was reading to 7th graders for most of the class time, everyday. She did not see the problem at that time! Her son was happy (sure, he had nothing to do in that class), and that was important.
But two weeks ago she realized that something was wrong. She was asking me what I was able to acomplish. Well, I told her, but I was so mad at her for not being there with me , at the front of the line, two months ago. I was the only soul fighting for change! Typical teacher suck-up parent !

Ugh, apathy! Hate it!

Though one of the reasons we're out of the school is that I'm not at all good with advocacy. I'm too pushy, too. But in my case, it backfires. Not good.

Still, I'd take pushy parent over apathetic parent any day of the week!

Please let me clarify my last post, as I may have offended some school volunteers here, which was not my intent. I volunteer at least once per month at our school and I used to volunteer quite a bit more when the kids were in the lower grades. Ania, I would be so grateful for a parent like you who spearheads a program, such as instituting and helping with ALEKS to provide extra challenge for the kids who need it. You all are not the type of parents I was referring to.

The fine line, as for hot-house parent versus supportive parent, exists also between the suck-up parent and the helpful parent.

I think you can see the effects of hothousing in kids who are hothoused. I know several college professors who have kids crying and desperate in their offices: "my dad will kill me if I don't get into medical school/get straight A's/make the basketball team etc" Some have attempted suicide when they see they are failing. For many of these kids, the expectations are not especially realistic or what the kid actually wants for him/herself (but, as I said earlier, are the parents using their children to gain status or validation). Having high expectations for you child is one thing, but pushing to them past what is realistic and not listening to who your child is, that's the real problem.

I actually wonder if some parents are thought to be hothousing simply because these GT kids are so high. Maybe its easier to think that its the parents pushing than the fact that the child is actually highly gifted? Know what I mean?

Hi Tammy,
I suspect that in some districts that hothousers are a dime a dozen and way more common than HG+ kids. It seems quite natural to me that educators in those districts would leap to the conclusion that a high achieving child had been hothoused. But we know better, and I think in many cases we can show them that our kids are "hothousing" themselves!

When I wrote "typical teacher suck-up parent" I meant the other mom! Not me!

I'm sure you are correct Tammy. My son was quite "invisible" to many of the School Folks at his old school. I even made up a story in my mind that his giftedness was like a pair of huge invisable wings, that some teachers couldn't see. All they could detect was the way those invisible wings knocked things over and made DS wobble when he walked. Obviously there was almost no place to actually fly during the school day. Even his parents were mostly concerned that he hold his wings politely in and not knock over the other children. The wings would take care of themselves until the wonderful day when he could use them, right?

Well - things didn't turn out that way, and we got quite an education.


We definitly need a word for 'gifted blindness' that is quite normal in this culture, perhaps that for another thread?

Smiles,
Trinity

You all need to stop posting such provocative, funny, relatable posts or I will never get offline and do anything productive.

:0

^^ Same sentiment here. I should be cleaning my laundry room, instead I am online. If only my kids new...LOL...I think they are suspecting...