Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy AAAGGGHHH

I agree completely. Sometimes I feel the like only parent as well...but I work with kids with behaviors all day so I know that is not the case. When we went in for DS5's open house the other day there was a chart on the wall that said "super stars" Under it it listed each kids name and stars next to their name if they had not changed any color cards each day that week on their behavior chart system. I looked up at the chart and there were 3 slashes next to my kids name. (Now it was only the second week of school and DS5 skipped K and has never even been in a full day school setting). I was hoping none of the parents would ask about the chart...but of course one did. They said "what do the slashes mean on that chart?" Of course there were a few slashes here and there...but my DS had all slashes. He still has yet to get a star even though his behavior has improved. Even though the kids are older than him, he treats them younger. I think he thinks that they are on some level because he knows that they are just learning to read and do simple addition. When he is with older peers he is much less goofy and he can actually talk with them about academic stuff. He isn't sure what to say in conversations with kids his age and even a year old. I really think if he were with older kids, or even mentally stimulated in some way that the behavior wouldn't be an issue at all. It never has been in other settings.

In reading this thread, I wonder about the assumption that GT kids can be emotionally delayed as compared to their intellectual age.

If I was stuck into a typing pool, I'd act out, too.

I wonder if their outbursts are related to advanced emotional development in that they can perceive the injustice and want to remedy it?

Oh, we have so been there done that - so you are not alone - my son was quickly labeled as a "trouble" maker and they made the choice to NOT see his amazing strengths - instead they focused on his behavior which proceeded to continue a downward spiral because they need nothing to keep his high intellect challenged...we ended up pulling and going back to homeschooling. So HUGS being sent your way because I understand completely!

Oh Crain,
My DS13 went through the 'labled kid' thing as a 1st, and 2nd grader. He had a great year in 3rd. In 4th he learned to read a book inside his desk during the entire school day. In 5th he changed school, and then skipped when that wasn't enough.

Some boys (and I imagine a girl or two, somewhere) have a little thing called pride, they just seem born with it, and being asked to do 'baby work' day in and day out is repugnant to their sense of themselves. They are too young to understand that 99% of the time this work is appropriate and not meant as an insult. Sounds like you may have this sort of situation on your hands. So glad that the testing has started, and if it is high, they you will know something. If the testing doesn't reveal his strengths, get work that is appropriate to the next few grades up and try teaching it to him on your own afterschool, and see if he likes it or struggles with it. Sometimes the only to demonstrate a childs strengths is with 'end of the year' tests.
But let's not worry about that yet.

I don't think that the Pirate ship alone was the problem, I think he really probably is quite PO'd (put out) at being asked to just sit still all day, while the other kids struggle to learn easy stuff.

Sounds like it is time to change his location, to a different school, classroom, or grade, or homeschooling, full or partial.

Best Wishes,
Grinity