Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Is he gifted?

I'm new to this forum and I would like to know you all's opinion. I am going through the process to have my son tested. Ever since he was an infant he seemed to be really observant and fully aware of his surroundings. He was really good at problem solving by the time he was 1. He never wanted anyone to teach him how to do things, he would watch everyone then want to teach himself. He even developed his own sign language to tell me when he was hungry, sleepy, or wanted his pacifier.

He displayed an advanced musical ability since he was a baby. He is now 4 and in Pre-k. His teachers think he has a sensory issue and ASD and that's because he is always "making music" and has no interest in the kids in his class. His emotions seem like those of an older child. His comprehension and memory are amazing. He learned all of his colors, letters, numbers, shapes, etc. by the time he was 3. He has an interesting sense of humor and interested in how things work for example, how the washer and dryer works. He is always concerned about how others feel, almost overly emotional and gets over stimulated when in large groups.

He interacts very well with the adults and older kids. He is in speech therapy and because he throws horrible tantrums when he is told what to do or that he has to stop doing something, the teachers want him to have behavioral therapy.

I'm so overwhelmed at this point and after doing research believe he is gifted and not all of these other things the teachers say he might be.

I know my son is well beyond his age with music. I have never seen a child his age have an ability like he does with my own eyes.

Does anyone else think he may be gifted or just have ASD and a bad attitude?

Please help.

so glad you are here, bsmom! Sounds like you are living with a child much like my son, who is now 13.

It sounds like you will need the advice of a good professional. Many of his behaviors do seem 'typical' for a gifted child, but having tantrums when told what to do or to not do is a problem. I do think that it is important to find how 'if and how much' he is gifted in the course of solving the tantrum thing.

Question: Do these tantrums happen only at school or also at home and when he is with older children?

Question: how many hours does he spend in Pre-K?

Question: Does the family need him to be there, or are you sending him simply so that he will be 'ready' for Kindy? There is a funny idea circulating that children 'must' do preschool so that they won't be at a disadvantage later in K. If this your main reason for having him in school, you might need to 'check your premises.' Can you get the school to allow him to spend all or part of his day with the older kids?

Question: Which books have you read? I would especially reccomend - http://www.energyparenting.com/products/item15.cfm which is one approach to parenting that has worked for me with my gifted/ intense and possible ADHD kid
and
-http://www.giftedbooks.com/productdetails.asp?id=48
which will help you know how important it is to have your son's testing done by a recognized expert in the field of unusually gifted kids.

I 'go ni-ni now' and look forward to more reading and typing tomorrow.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Thanks for the reading material.

Actually, he seems to know when and where he can throw his tantrums. He is well behaved at certain family members homes and with older kids. Then when with his great-grandparents, he is a demanding spoiled brat (by himself). At school they tell me he has a problem transitioning to other activities and that's when his behavior is a problem.

He is a VERY strong willed kid. He knows what he wants and when he wants it. He doesn't like when people tell him when to do it. Things have to be right or he gets frustrated and upset. He hardly ever takes naps. I also think maybe he needs more to learn, so I'm teaching him to recognize numbers up to 100, how to tell time, and spell small words. He is really interested and learning fast.

He is in pre-k 3 hours a day 4 days a week. He didn't act out in preschool last year but this year his behavior is getting gradually worse. Therefore I enrolled him into a karate class last week.

He is in pre-k because "the family" was concerned he had a speech delay. He talked a lot but no one could understand a lot of what he was saying. He was tested and the school district suggested speech therapy in a school setting.

I'm looking into getting him music lessons. He enjoys the drums, piano/keyboard, guitar, and singing. He recognizes keys and pitch changes and can match your voice if you sing with him. He creates complex patterns with his drum beats and loves all genres of music. He has excellent rhythm, and is asking for a real drum set and a new keyboard. He's already grown out of the kid drums and bored with his small keyboards. We recently bought guitar hero and he plays the drums to the music and is really good at keeping up the beat. He even makes up songs and sings while playing the keyboard or drums. He recognizes the different sounds created when hitting different surfaces and objects.

I contacted a gifted kids organization where I'm located and have a list of Psychologists that test and work with gifted children. I know he is musically gifted, if you hear him you will know as well. But his social and emotional skills are getting hard to deal with, especially when some think he is just autistic or just has sensory issues and not a gift.

If you can get speech therapy in a different setting, I would dump the preK and do the karate and music. Especially if there are no older kids to put him with - Imagine asking a 10 year old to spend 12 hours a week with 1st graders and telling him that he has to try and blend in as best he can, and not expect the teacher to treat him any differently based on his real age. Chilling, right?

I think you'll like those books!
Smiles
Grinity

Hi BSMom - He sounds exactly like my DS at that age. We finally got pre-school to understand that if you wanted him to move onto something else then he needed advanced warning and that if they put a timetable up they had better stick to it or if not make sure DS understood in advance and why there was a change, they soon got it after the first few tantrums - especially when they worked out that he knew what was on the timetable (reading already!)

This carried on into the first year of school even when we explained to his teacher it took the first tantrum for them to believe us.


If the kids were playing with the trains they had to go the way Tigger wanted - if he was going round the track clockwise so were they!! If he decided in his imagination the buses would be lined up one way and the trucks another then heaven forbid if anyone should change the setup. He has chilled out on this but can still get annoyed if play does not follow his pre-determined set of rules - even if the other kids don't get it. Which is why he is better with very compliant, generally younger or much older kids that let him go his way, but we still struggle to get him to let others lead play, especially on the computer as he gets frustrated that they are not quick enough or simply don't get it - and to be frank we watch him and we don't get it so I suspect the ND kids he plays with don't stand a chance really.




Tigger gave up by the time he was 2. By 2.5 I was exhausted and at my wits end - so off he went to Montessori pre-school who did a great job of understanding him and I should never have moved from there.

Tigger was also very sensitive - still is, he has motor skill problems and still has speech articulation difficulties, although not serious enough to warrant funded speech therapy but we have a program for him that he is supposed to work on at school as part of his IEP but... oh and he did learn to sign really early on to get round his speech problems which was a huge source of frustration for him too. He had a massive vocabulary but no-one could understand him. It would have been easier if he had less words as simple sentences would have been easier to understand.

Lots of similarities apart from the music - although he loves to sing and hum along to things he seems to always be a beat behind, same with dancing - I think lots of ear infections and 2 lots of grommets may have some bearing on this.

I can say it does get better but we were always confronted with his problems - his abilities were never pointed out to us (we just thought he was normal - only child, no experience of kids) so when he got to school they suggested testing because of his strange behaviour... they suggested Autism. So he was tested and it was suggested that he was 'merely gifted' and should be advanced to a suitably high level and all would come good - and amazingly enough it did.

So imho testing is the way to go then at least you really know what you are dealing with and try to get his carers to adapt to him not the other way round.

Sorry that ended up longer than planned - Good luck and welcome.

.

This is also true for my son. He is an only child and wasn't really around other children for the first 2 years, just adults and teenagers. Everyone could always tell he wasn't like other kids.

And of course a couple of weeks ago his teachers told me they believe he has autism spectrum disorder and a sensory issue. She did however mention that giftedness is on that spectrum as well. Hmmm

He also has an IEP but didn't have any reason for his lack of pronunciation other than he was just trying to talk too fast. His speech has improved a great deal, however his behavior is getting worse. I get worried sometimes when I pick him up because of what they will say he did.

I'm off today to talk to his teachers again because they want to add behavioral therapy to his IEP.

I am going to get him tested on my own, because I don't trust that the public school district he is in will suggest or support the idea of him being gifted.

Yes you went through what i'm going through.