Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Kindergarten 2009-2010

I think that's a great plan. I think it's a hard concept to explain to the teachers (I was told never to use the word "bored.") Hopefully it will help if the school gets something official from medical professionals explaining his behavior.

Sciencemama - It sounds like your DD has a great teacher and environment. I hope the year continues to go well.

Although I didn't expect my kid to be excited about kindergarten, it was hard to talk to some of my mom friends about how their kids liked kindergarten and hear "Oh, he can't stop talking about it and can't wait to go back." I would love to be able to say that someday.

Not trying to analyze too much...but you know this is my field and what I do. Maybe the dog was sad on a school day because he was going to miss your DS. DS didn't have a frown on : )

We paid for a private Woodcock Johnson achievement test for DD5 and gave the principal the results last spring. The principal offered to grade skip but we asked to try subject acceleration first because of DD5's asynchronous behavior. DD5 goes to 1st grade in the morning for reading & math. She's with her K class in the afternoon for lunch, recess & specials (art, PE, music, computer, science, library). So far this seems to be going well and the aggravation we've saved has offset the expense of testing. With DD7 we waited for the school to do the testing and that was an exercise in frustration.

Well, the dog actually had a smiley face. DS had a frowny face. I'll ask him why the dog was smiling! Oh, and he had another frowny face on some workbook page where he was supposed to draw a picture of how he felt.

LOL, well there goes my theory right out the window. Maybe the dog is mad at DS and looking forward to some alone time : ) It's strange...sometimes the faces mean something and sometimes they don't. Sometimes that is how they feel during that activity...not implying that is how they feel about school. DS5 has never drawn a sad face...but I know he has been sad before. Everyone is always SUPER happy...even when he has to make something he doesn't want to. So you really just don't know.

I knew there were issues when my then DS5 drew a picture of the school building on fire! Didn't have to analyze that one too much to figure out how he was feeling....

selective mutism is a severe social anxiety disorder causing a person who normally can speak in places of comfort (like at home), reflexively shut down their speech in places of discomfort (like at school or in front of strangers). This goes beyond ordinary shyness/slow to warm up behavior. While most traditionally shy children might spend up to a month in a school setting being very quiet, they eventually relax and start talking.

The selectively mute child simply can not. They want to, but they can't bring themselves to speak. It persists beyond the first month, and without proper assistance, it can persist into adulthood.

It is basically a function of an improperly resolved primitive reflex - the fight/flight or freeze response. Most babies Moro Reflex and a little known Fear Paralysis Reflex gets integrated into the background. For those with selective mutism, it does not. The child feels "all eyes" are on them, and there is a high sense of "if I do something they will laugh at me" feeling. My daughter wanted to speak at times, but told me that "the words were there but wouldn't come out".

Oftentimes, selectively mute children have higher than average intellect. I believe in part because they are so "switched on" to the world, nothing gets past, and because of asynchronous development - the cognitive abilities far surpass the emotional ones. There is usually a co-existing sensory processing issue as well - again, too switched on to the sensations coming in, increases anxiety.

In case anyone would want to read about her journey, it's here

Our Daughter's Selective Mutism Journey - the summary

I blogged about it in order to help others. I think it has helped some parents cope and understand things a little better.

Her social anxiety is pretty much gone after all we've done. Now she just has generalized anxiety - mostly about bad dreams and monsters.

That's got to be so hard. I'm going look at your blog in a minute. Does she talk a little in school?

Well this year is still getting worse.

The last two days he got notes home from the teacher. He's running and skipping in the classroom and constantly talking to himself. Today the teacher took most of his recess away and said he was better after that. He's now telling me that he doesn't like school anymore I was so optimistic about this year and as the days go by I get more and more negative. I feel like I'll never find a good fit for him.