Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Just Need some Support

Hi,

I'm completely new here so I'm not sure where this goes. I just really need somewhere to express my feelings about what's going on with DD.

She's really young still (only 6 months) so I feel kind of strange posting on most gifted forums because everywhere I've read said that you can't tell at this age. But the thing is, is that she's really freaking me out and I just don't feel like I can talk to any of my other mom friends about this. Whenever I do, I get the impression that they feel bad that their kid isn't doing the same. Some have even started making up nicknames for my daughter. I've had a number of moms express worry when their ND child isn't doing the same things as DD and that's not my intention at all. Which means I don't talk about what she's doing, and that stresses me out even more!

She's been running ahead on all her milestones but what really set off some bells was our 4 month well baby visit. Our pediatrician freaked out about how well our daughter was sitting up on her own, standing, etc. She said DD was the most advanced baby she's ever seen (and we go to a very busy practice in a very larger city). She kept asking about milestones that she'd hit and she'd done all of them up to 6 months and even some a lot farther past that.

Now moving ahead to 6 months she's all over the place. She can pull herself up to standing, crawl, roll everywhere, pick stuff up with the pincer grasp, drops things on the ground and watches them, even colors a bit, points to objects (like when we ask where the trees are). We've been teaching her baby signing too. We started at 4.5 months and she would almost immediately react to some of them and now at 6 months she can sign 5-6 words and responds to more.

She's also extremely social. She'll watch other kids like a hawk (especially older ones) and she tries to interact with them and will "talk" to them (she doesn't speak yet but does her baby talk). She does say "up", though, when she wants to be picked up in the air.

I guess, I'm writing this because I feel so overwhelmed. I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep up with her and I'm freaking out about schooling. I tested into the gifted program at my school in 1st grade and was bored out of my mind most of the time until HS where they offered numerous AP classes. language courses and I became obsessive about some of my extracurricular activities. I still skipped most of HS and past at the top of my class. DH was the same except his HS was horrible and he almost failed out. Went on to be the top student in college/grad school. I fear that she'll have the same problems with school and that we won't be able to afford anything better early on (dh and I are both starting our careers and there's just no way we can afford private school at this point or anytime soon).

Plus, as much as I love her she is so demanding. She goes nuts when she can't do thing (she was desperately trying to crawl since she was about 3 months old). Now she's moved on to standing up and trying to walk (gets extremely agitated when she can't do it). She cries if I stop reading to her and I basically have to hid all books out of her line of vision if we need to move on to something else. She's readjusted her nap schedule so she is awake almost the entire time I'm home from work except when I go to sleep for the night.

I could go on and on but I've already written a novel. I just don't know where to go to talk about this since it seems that it's completely taboo to talk about an advanced baby.

You've come to the right place for answers, a shoulder to lean on and support. Post away as I'm sure you will find what you are looking for here. I recommend you pick up Dr.Ruf's Book "Losing our Minds" as well as visit the Hoagies' website. www.Hoagies.com Welcome. (PS Your DD sounds "normal" for a PG baby).

HG/PG kids are highly demanding. Sponges desperately seeking to soak up as much as they can, and early-on, that comes almost entirely from you. What responsibility! Exhausting! Here's the only advice I can offer (from my dim memories of the crazy days of having babies):

1. Try routines - 5 books mid-day or afternoon before "quiet time", 5 at bed-time, Puzzle-time, walk, lunch, quiet time, etc.
2. DH insisted on afternoon "quiet time" that the kids didn't have to sleep but had to be quiet in their bed--oftentimes they'd look through books on their own, but this time really was a saving grace for me.
3. Go for walks (it sounds like work, but it was therapeutic for me and there's so much to see to stimulate the kids)
4. Educational videos also gave me a reprieve (my oldest son was obsessed by dinosaurs at age 1 so we had all the Land Before Time videos. Now my youngest enjoys Planet Earth & Blue Planet & National Geographic)
5. If you get some time to yourself, you're better able to enjoy and nurture the gifts of your child. I'd take them to museums even very young, or do counting games, library programs, etc.
6. My 3rd son spent a lot of time playing math & reading games on the computer as young as 2.

I want to say it gets easier, but really it only got easier for me when I had another baby who could help entertain/play/interact.

Thank you very much for the kind words! We'll definitely check out that book. We're trying to find resources right now to be better prepared as DD grows, so we appreciate the suggestion.

Yes! She can be very exhausting! Sometimes I'm amazed that we've survived.

The first 3 months were the worst because she cried almost constantly and then all of a sudden she just stopped once she started to play more. Things are better now but because she's working on cruising/walking we have to be extremely careful because she's trying to pull up on everything and she gets so frustrated if she can't do something.

Thank you for the suggestions, I think the one with the books is especially good. It might help her to settle down a bit if she knows what's coming in regards to books.

Haha, she'll probably just have to wait a bit in the sibling department. She's worn us out so much that it might be awhile!

Hi can empathize NewMom. My DS, now 8, was the most demanding baby. If he was awake and not eating, he was crying. I even videotaped it! Walks and books and new places and faces definitely helped. Also he really loved music and I would play everything from Broadway tunes to hard rock and dance with him. Remember to take time out for yourself as well! Once he could crawl and then walk he was happier, still demanding but happier.

Hi NewMom.

First, welcome to the board. From what you described you will have your hands full and will need the support. And you're right...talking to your friends about DD can cause some major hurt feelings and I have come to realize that it really isn't worth it. I now have my close gifted moms who I have meet on some boards that I confide in about the day to day issues and successes and as for my other friends... well, I am still friends but I don't really talk about my DD with them.

Second, I really do feel your pain on all the book reading. My DD was obsessed with books and since she never napped it was a full time job. I would like to say that with mobility the obsession lessens but I didn't see that one happen. I really think it is the way they build their vocabulary and their understanding of their world. DD learned all her ABCs by 9 mths because she was obsessed with some ABC books. She will be turning 3 yrs next month and I would like to say that books are not such a problem anymore, but I would be lying. Books are no longer a 24 hour obsession, but still a major part of her life. DD now fills part of her time with the computer which I fear is becoming the new obsession. And DD too, was able to use the computer by herself by age 2 which freed me up.

So don't hesitate to write about your DD ... we have all been there and have fond memories of the days. (Ok ... fond since we survived them.) And definitely find the time to read Ruf's book that was suggested to you. She really gets into infancy and you will see how much of what freaks you out is discussed in that book. But, of course, get ready to freak out about what else is brought up in the book. It is only natural to freak out ... part of the process.

Actually after your suggestion yesterday I brought out an old recorder of mine when she was really bored and fussy. The second I started playing it she loved it! She spent most of the time grabbing it from me and trying to figure out how I was making all those sounds.

Thank you! We just ordered her book off of amazon and in the meantime I found some sections of it on google reader and I think it would be a good read.

Ah, the computer obsession, she already has that! Both DH and I work a lot on our laptops and she's figured out if you hit buttons on the keyboard that it changes the screen. We tried buying her a toy one that talks but she's realized the real thing is MUCH better! She's lunge over our laps to get to our laptops. I'll be happy when she can safely play on it and I don't have to worry about it being dropped on the floor afterwards.

Part of it is our fault because we talk to the grandparents often on skype and she is absolutely fascinated with that.

Yeah, sounds like she will be walking probably in the next month or two. My Ds was a very physical child as well. He learned to sit up and pull up to standing in the same day!

I don't have a lot of advice. I will tell you his very favorite things were his shape sorter and his foam bath letters and numbers. Also Baby Einstein was a favorite. Especially the shape one and the orchestra one.