Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Grade skip in homeschooling, your reasons?

My DS is starting in K-1 in the fall right after turning 5 and will officially be a first grader at the semester. He's working at a second/almost third grade level. Although we will be doing Independent Study based homeschooling we want the skip and that's something a lot of people just don't understand. If you homeschool you can do whatever level of work the child is at, grade level doesn't really matter for curriculum.

Our reasoning is that we have found that when people ask giving a grade is easier than giving his age. When someone sees him reading and asks his age we just say he's in K (he's being homeschooled K already, long story). That gets an "Oh! well that's pretty impressive for K." If we say he's 4, we get shock. In our universe he is normal. We're doing our best to shield him for as long as possible from adult responses that would make him think differently. That's really our main reason for the grade skip since the curriculum isn't an issue.

Does this make sense to any of you? Do any of you do similar things for your kids?

It seems like after a certain point that is going to invite more scrutiny and questions rather than discourage it because the next logical question is "how old are you, you look young for x grade..."

Our approach has always been to assess what they are asking. Most often when people are asking about grades that is really a stand in for asking age so we just answer that question. Or, at times our son simply says "I'm homeschooled and we don't really do grades."

DS7 is all over the board as far as grade levels go. When people actually need to know, I say he's working at about a 5th grade level because that's about the average level of his work. But, we have ranges from grade level (handwriting) up through high school (reading).

With fellow homeschoolers we say "well, it depends on the subject" and then laugh and give his age. Usually that's not a problem with homeschoolers, most just ask the kids ages (I also have 2 younger ones who aren't doing formal school yet).

For people like the cashier at the grocery store, we answer, "Well, we're homeschoolers, but he would be in x grade if he were in school."

I generally avoid mentioning grades when academic levels aren't the real question... I'll say that "we don't really do grades because we homeschool" and then either tell them his age, or figure out what grade that matches up to, or whatever seems appropriate.

But when people are asking about academics, we do have him skipped up (one or two grades depending on what cutoffs you use). We didn't make a decision about it, though, until there was some benefit to doing so -- in our case, being allowed to start competing in the science fair and testing through CTD/NUMATS (had to be 3rd grade for both). Also around that point, when he was barely-seven, it became clear that claiming he was a 2nd grader got more negative attention than claiming he was a in 3rd and grade-skipped. I had someone actually snort when I answered with his age-grade (2nd).... no one was believing it anyway, and that was without much detail on what he was doing at home.

In our case at least, as much crap as I get for having skipped him (and I get plenty...), it would be worse overall to claim his age-grade. Not just the snorting, but this year, for instance, he was at the top of his division for the science fair (even though by age he should have been at the bottom) and still stuck out like a sore thumb, right up through the state competition. I'm hopeful that next year in the next division he'll have a little more company and not so obvious a mismatch. But my point is, there are downsides to skipping, even in a homeschool, and you have to have some benefits to at least balance them out.

Hope this helps!

I usually just reply with age or "he would be in 2nd grade, but we homeschool". I get the feeling that's the answer people really want. He is working 2-7 grade levels ahead depending on the area, so there wouldn't necessarily be a good alternative response. He is small for age, so even saying he was a year or 2 ahead would get into a discussion about his size. I'd rather talk about his academic skills than his size!

It's really interesting to read the responses. One of the other reasons we want the skip is just in case we ever do move him to a conventional public school we want him at least a little closer to his actual level without having to fight for it.

I've actually found that giving a grade rather than an age gets less of a reaction for us. DS is big for his age so there is never any question that he isn't in K. I really do go out of my way to avoid giving his age. I guess we've just had more overtly shocked responses to his age combined with what he can do than we have to a grade level combined with what he can do. I don't like DS getting the feeling that he's doing something wrong by doing what he does at the age he is.

I've heard the entire "we homeschool and he is working at a ___ grade level" and I know with other homeschoolers that works, but a lot of people I've dealt with I am certain would have responded with "But what grade is he actually in?" I know it must just be me, but I really try to avoid those conversations because they always make me feel awkward.

I think I'd deal with the issue of grade if and when you decide to put him into a conventional school. At that point you can tell them whatever you want. Maybe you'd want to give an above-grade level test the spring before he goes to the new school, but that and a list of what your child has been studying is about as much as you'd need, I think.

Unless it's a case like that of Erica's DS, where he wants to compete with intellectual peers in some forum, it seems mostly unnecessary to worry about grade. You know?

I have been known to answer "what grade?" questions when they won't accept age as an answer with "He's working on decimals, so whatever grade that is" sorts of answers. Only with close friends, though. I mostly figure there's no real reason for random people to know too much about our business!

Where I live what grade you've called the child while homeschooling is entirely irrelevant to how they will be placed in school. They will be placed in the grade where they fit chronologically unless you have test scores and a portfolio to support a grade skip. Having called the child a particular grade bears no weight in that decision.

It has worked well for our homescholing family to simply deemphasize grade distinctions entirely. We didn't want our child to be invested in those distinctions because he didn't fit them neatly and talking about them only served to emphasize how atypical he is. And, we wanted maximum flexibility to decide what we'd do later (we ended up doing a four year grade skip which feels comfortable with a teenager but would have felt really awkward with a five year old!) I am not uncomfortable saying the child's age because factually that is his age. If people observe wow he seems advanced for his age, I simply confidently agree with the truth of that observation. To me that sends a message to the child that we are comfortable with his development.

For what it is worth, if you are confident and comfortable and don't feel a need to explain, people (including your child) tend to pick up on that. The idea that grades are different in homeschooling is one that people can understand - trust me we've had this conversation about a billion times with random strangers and it has been fine.

Actually he is enrolled in a public school for next year, but it is an Independent Study program rather than conventional school so it equates to a version of homeschooling. However from what I believe the grades transfer equivalently.

I WISH I had people respond, "Wow he's advanced for his age." I'd be much more comfortable giving his age if that was the case. What I have gotten, for the most part, is dropped jaws and "A 4 year old that does ____ !!!!!"

One thing we talked about with our child is that strangers generally mean well when they say stuff like this. People will NOTICE difference. But noticing is not the same as criticizing and they don't realize that you've heard it many times before. I find this applies to kids who are tall, have pretty eyes, etc. People are just making conversation and it is best not to worry too much about that. And, I'd keep in mind this is very much a temporary thing as far as the degree of scrutiny. It tends to fade as they get older.