Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Considering having son repeat 5th grade

Thanks Chris. I asked my son about the IQ test taken at his school...it took 'a couple hours' and was done in one day. From my understanding, test results are the determining factor as to whether or not he makes it into GT. I feel completely unknowledgeable about all of this as I just try to 'go with the flow' and provide my kids with whatever they need to succeed in school. I tend not to make special requests (specific teacher, etc). So, I'm just learning about this. We are just thinking if it would be best for him to be with same-aged peers, which means he would have to repeat the 5th grade, we should do it now. I just see him struggling later in life with sports and puberty/social issues, which are our main concerns. Thanks again. I appreciate feedback!

Thanks Cricket. I feel rediculous, but I don't know the name of the IQ test he took and don't know much about them. He said it was one-on-one, him and the lady asking him questions...he scored 111.

The cut off is Sept. 1 here. He would be the correct age for the 5th grade, as this is the grade he should be in (he completed 1/2 year in K and entered 1st halfway through the year, having skipped the last half of K per teacher/principle request). Most of the kids entering the 5th grade this fall are 10. However, there are some who are already 11. Often, people tend to hold their kids back for sports, so they are older than others in their grade.

Sports are important to our family, creating a well-rounded kid and keeping them involved in extracurricular activities. Because my son is younger than most of his peers/classmates who also will be playing sports, we are concerned this will be even more difficult for him in middle and high school. He currently plays with kids his own age (kids going into 5th as my son should be), and he does fine. Other concerns are kids in his grade hitting puberty before him, his maturity level and dealing with issues like girls, puberty, etc., driving - everything will happen to/for him later than everyone else in his grade if we leave him going into the 6th grade and not repeating 5th. We regret moving him up a grade. Suggestions?

Has anyone else dealt with this issue - having a son moved up a grade who loved sports and struggled in high school? I was young for my class, but I honestly feel girls are different than boys in this area...it wasn't hard for me. I just want him to have fun and not be so hard on himself as he is now...I wonder if we put extra pressure on him by moving him up so long ago.

We are, honestly, in a different spot in that my kid who skipped a grade is a girl and that makes some degree of difference as you have noted. She also skipped 5th grade, so the decision was made later in the process for her with more info on peer stuff, etc. I hope that someone with boys who've skipped chimes in here!

I guess my only advice would be that you should feel free to ask as many questions of the school, teachers, etc., as you need to until you feel you have a better idea of what your son needs. Making this move is a big decision and they recommended the skip - now they should be able to help you understand better which way to go at this point.
Good luck!

Thanks again for your input!

Another thought: what was their reasoning in the first place for having him skip? Do you/they now think that they were wrong -- did they misjudge how able he was? Did they do any ability testing in K to make that determination?

No...nothing was done in K! We have actually moved school districts since then. We were told at the time that he was getting himself in trouble because he was so bored. His teacher and principle met with my husband and I about it, and basically gave us no option. My friend who taught his preschool class the previous two years took him to the gradeschool to have his reading level tested...at the age of 5 he read at a 2nd to 3rd grade level.

Thank you so much Dottie for sharing! After spending a weekend with kids on my son's baseball team for an allstar tournament that are his age (and going into 5th grade where we're considering having him repeat)...my husband and I really watched and listened to their interactions. We found our son is much more mature in many ways...he is the tallest kid on the team and about the 5th oldest (out of 12 kids). So, we are thinking we need to leave him where he is. We have talked with him about all of his options, and he was okay with repeating 5th to be with his same-aged peers, but didn't want to do it at a different school...we feel it would be so much more difficult to do it at the same school he was just at...not only due to kids but teachers as well. It is a smaller gradeschool. We have let him know we will support him in whatever choice he makes. he's such an easy going kid, he'll do whatever we ask of him, especially if he feels we feel it's best, but we have let him know it is completely his choice. He is kind of torn, but is thinking about it. Thanks again!

My son will be entering 4th grade in September. He skipped first grade at the request of the school. Emotionally I find him all over the map. He can discuss and make very mature decisions when we sit down and discuss things but socially he really struggled this year. With peers he tends to get over excited and be overly goofy and physically annoying...in their space, knocking off hats etc. I don't know if this is because they don't respond at his intellectual level and he doesn't know how to relate then or if there is more going on. He has many characteristics of ADHD (primarily hyperactive) but only sometimes...it cycles somewhat. I considered keeping him in third again next year but he is reading at a twelfth grade level and doing middle school math. He loves sports and luckily he is pretty good for his age/size so I hope this doesn't become and issue. I am mainly concerned socially as middle school can be a really rough ride for any kid. Does anyone else have a gifted kid who is struggling socially? I don't know how to help him!

Your description of your son, with the overly goofy and physically annoying....that sounds like my son. My son is diagnosed Aspeger's, but he has very mild visible signs of it. One thing he does have is a very poor sense of other people's personal space and what is uncomfortable for them. I am not saying he does have it, but that is usually an indication to look further.

There is a lot of social training and therapy that can help a child learn and work around some of the issues that Aspeger's children have relating to others.