Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school gifted 4 year old with severe baby talk

hi all
i have been struggling with my daughter since she was two years old. We just confirmed that she is highly gifted (WPPSI FSIQ 147). While its a relief in some ways that there is a resaon for her overall intensity, I can't find any info on the thing we are struggling with the most: baby talk that goes on for sometimes hours a day. Sometimes i think she CAN'T stop. It almost never occurs at school (but they have heard it). It started at age 2 when she already had very mature regular speech. The sad thing is that if she is doing it for attention, its working against her as it is so hard to be around her and give her the attention she needs when she is doing it. We try giving her lots of "special time" but does not seem to have any impact at all. Anyone dealt with this.. I am hoping a move to a gifted school for kindergarden will help.. any idea if it could actually make it worse???

irene

Our youngest daughter did this also, still does at six on rare occasion.

I kind of think it was done to fit in and also when she feels insecure.

I would just calmly and without any judgement ask her to stop talking like a baby. I'm pretty sure she will eventually grow out of it.

Neato

It is very typical for kids to have a phase a baby talk and baby play around age three or four. Often it coincides with the birth of a younger sibling, but our child is an only and he went through the phase too.

My suggestion would be to set a time to 100% indulge it and really get into it. Have her sit on your lap, wrap her in a blanket and rock like a baby, pretend to burp her, etc. Play it up to an extreme of gushing about your baby. You may transition this into talking about when she was a baby and your memories of that happy time. As irritating as this is, trust me there will be years when you look back and wish she was on your lap rocking and pretending to be a baby. Our experience is the more we 100% got into it and thoroughly indulged this need the less he had it. I would try that for a couple of weeks and I bet you'll see it start to fade away.

today i am going to create a behavior chart (as much as i hate them!!) and will have her work towards getting some "baby time". it really makes sense - she may just be able to come out of it if she knows she will still get it at some later point. She has control issues too.I remember feeling this way myself when i was a kid. I'll keep you guys posted. I dont' think i can take another day of "ma ma ma NUGGY NUGGY" (mom i want chicken nuggets).

irene

My 2 1/2 yr old has started to do a little of this in the last few weeks and I noticed in the last few days it is more intense. DD is a very imaginative child and always talking for her animals and having them have conversations with changing voices for each one so i was not shocked when she started becoming the animal for periods of time. She will crawl around on the floor like a puppy and bark or some other non-domestic animal. But now we have some of what you described with the baby talk. If feels like she is making up her on language because she will string together some weird syllables and about a minute later she repeats it exact. It is a little frustrating to witness since she has a massive vocabulary and I feel like we are slipping into a strange phase. And then I read this thread and a light bulb goes off in my head ... we could possibly be headed down this path. Time will tell but thanks for posting the topic.

My dd was doing that and it really got "old" fast, so we picked out accents for her to listen to and we all tried to talk like that too. English, Irish, Long Island, Bostonian, etc. She is almost 8yo now and can mimic most of them proficiently! DD is now working on cartoon and environmental noises. This too can get annoying but most often it is hilarious!!! (and the baby talk has been a thing of the past!)

DS5 didn't have a baby talk phase, but he did go through an irritating whiny voice phase. We went with the old "we can't understand you when you talk like that" and ignored him until he spoke in a nonwhiny voice.

I'd skip the chart because to make it a reward says that baby talk is a highly valued activity. And, making her act grown up in order to earn the baby time may reinforce the ambivalence she's already feeling about being big. If what she's looking for is that feeling of complete indulgence babies get, if make her earn it or only give in begrudgingly she may not really get that feelings she's looking for. In other words, I think it could backfire and increase the behavior. So, instead I'd treat baby talk as a play activity you will fully indulge as a separate activity from normal conversation. "Oh yes, I'd like to play baby with you just as soon as we are finished with lunch, but right now I need to hear your regular voice so I can understand you."

If it is more that she's whining, I would role play the difference between a whiny voice and a regular voice. Practice together and have fun doing exaggerated versions. Then in the moment with the nuggets you are in your rights to ask her to "try again in a regular voice."

if i go with that approach (the one from passtheotatoes, thanks!), do you think i should discuss with her at the get-go that i've changed my feelings about her baby talk. She definitely knows at this point that i want her to not do it (not that it makes her stop)..She is very very perceptive.. this is where her "giftedness" seems to show the most. She still talks about when she was 2 years old and what the teachers would "say about the kids" when they were supposed to be napping at day care. more than academic smarts.Also i don't think i mentioned that she also had a period of 1 year where she "shut down" her smarts at school. This is showing much improvement now, but i think its related to the baby talk.

thanks all

irene

I really like passthepotatoes' advice.

The role playing part is still letting her know that you would prefer that she speak more often in her *regular* voice.

Curious about the shutting down intelligence and baby talk, my DD showed a very similar pattern in K. We resolved it by having her work at home(this year) at demonstrated academic level for part of the day and sending her to school for a few hours to do lunch, gym, specials, recess, etc.
Interesting, now that I think about it, the baby talk died down tremendously around that time. Hmmmm.....

Sometimes it's hard to remember how little they are because of how smart they are. Somethings, you just shouldn't *reason* with them, IMO. Better to just take control of the situation and manage it like PTP suggests.

As disturbing as the babytalk is, it's very likely that she will grow out of it and it's just a phase.

Neato