Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy School Frustration!

She looked so...confident in herself when she said it! This may be the worst part of it all --- that so many educators are so unaware of their own cluelessness.

Val

I forgot to mention "subject mastery," which can be a code phrase for "they have to master all the information in one grade-level curriculum before they can advance." Another clue to this one is a statement indicating the need to "fill in the gaps" or a policy of avoiding "gaps in learning."

These policies sound seductive at first but they ignore the fact that gaps can be good challenges for gifted kids and that complete mastery is therefore not always necessary in order to move ahead.

Val

Bless your heart, trout!

I can relate.

I won't begin to recount all the hoops we've had to jump through in order to get close to a good program for next year -- and that is after wasting 4 public school years with not a bit of differentiated at-level work. And this is with consistent, repeated 99.9% scores in IQ and ACH, total and some broad areas / indices as well. After the WJ-III 180 ACH Total at almost 6 years, I thought we were finally getting somewhere, but then had to switch schools, and we started all over again.

The delay tactics are common.

To follow up on Hoagie's Ridiculous Things ... last year, 2'nd grade, the issue was that my son had some gaps in his learning: he "lacked dictionary concepts." Yep, that's right. So after about 5 minutes at home, dissecting the various parts of a dictionary entry, I figured we were good to go -- go to middle school that is :-) Unfortunately, they thought differently. More hoops. More delays.

I have a long history advocating (pretty successfully) for my son's special need (he is a 2E kid), so I am somewhat inured to the stress of the fight. Nothing a school district or bureaucratic agency could throw at me would surprise me at this point.

And I'm sure this is the same as at a private school as well, though I have no experience there.

Please be encouraged that you can and will meet your daughter's need. It may not come easily, but it is entirely possible ... though perhaps not in the way you think it will play out. After all, she is very young. You have a long path in front of you :-)

I always have found that if I give a lot of forethought (and prepare a list) of what my son needs in a program, and what that program should look like (and prepare a detailed description), I am a better advocate for him. In other words, I go into every meeting with a clear mind as to what I want for him. A vision of what I want for him. If I can communicate that vision clearly, and with enthusiasm, we ultimately prevail.

My best wishes to you!

WAIT! No one told me of the dangers of silent e!

Yes, please add that to the hoagies page. That's near the top.

Trout ...... I'm in tears reading your post. Seriously. That. is. just. unbelievable. When did this become being about the adults and not the kids?

What a coincidence. Neither have we!

What an amazing story!!

BS!!!

I played soccer with HS kids when I was 12 and accelerated during lunch. We had pickup games every day. It was a blast and I held my own.

These same principals like to brag about their sports programs when the kids should be studying for class after school not playing sports. They deliberately praise them for wasting their time.

Val
I hear what you are saying. We fell for the marketing material from the state school that did nothing when they realised, and told us, that at the age of 5 our son was the only child they had ever come across who could perform deductive reasoning. We waited 4 wasted painful damagaing years for something to happen. It didn't - things just got worse.

Look at the blurb, meet the head teacher and the teachers and other parents to see what they feel.

For us, this is pretty much last chance saloon. They have, however recognised and are addressing the fact that rather than being average at maths he is within the top 10% - something vehemently fought against at his state school. Acceleration - they laughed at us.

In principle, I am absolutely against private fee-paying education since I know there are many children who are 'working class' who are way ahead of the rich kids. we are not rich by any stretch, and much as it goes against everything i have believed in, but i have one son and he has one chance and I have to give him that.

He just produced a model/sculpture yesterday of such feeling and maturity called 'The Widower'. It is a man holding a baby with a little boy reaching up to him. It displays emotion and pathos. At the new private school it may be displayed in the Summer Art Exhibition - maybe he will get the mentoring and help he needs to develop. At his state school they just couldn't be bothered. I wish fom the bottom of my heart that that wasn't the case - but it was.

God help us all in this struggle to get what our kids need and deserve!

Wow. Thank you for all the empathy, the wisdom and the kind words. I was so depressed after our last conversation with the school (the day before I posted) but after reading all the amazing responses in this thread I am feeling confidant about DD's future and just much, much better. While I am horrified how common our experience is, I am also finding great comfort in the fact that we are not alone in this quagmire.

On a positive note, I just bought the book, "The Well-Trained Mind" and I am getting genuinely excited about this homeschooling idea as I read it. Thank you again everyone for your amazing posts, reading all these comments really helped us get some perspective and just feel like there is a shelter against the madness. Thank you!

yikes, I really do know how to spell principal. Anyhow, I really hated the sports comment as well. I don't know if DS is going to be a sports star as he hasn't been so inclined...but he has always been a big kid (born 10 lb 1 oz a week early). And he is advanced with his motor skills...so I am not too concerned. That is good to hear your experience. I think if DS were to pick a sport right now it would be soccer...or possibly baseball. He is pretty good...maybe even on par with a child that is one year older (gasp).