Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Hindsight......random thoughts

Oh yes!

For quite a while I was convinced that the parenting books/websites were the biggest lie I have ever read!
Either that, or my DD had some alien blood in her LOL.

I still remember when she was two that I posted in other parenting board whether it was really true that 2 year old children cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy because mine did. I was surprised by the few answers I got....

As well, I wondered for a few months if the baby of a friend had some cerebral damage, until I noticed that all the other babies look more like baby's friend than mine. That baby is now a child who is perfectly fine, probably is even an intelligent child!

Anyway, it would have helped to have some more clue with DD5.5.

I try to learn from my mistakes and not to to do them with DS2.6

I just wanted to add that I did not mean that in a 'mean' way. The baby was slightly premature and I really thought there was a problem.

Why would you be ashamed of him?

LOL - alien blood. I thought surely I must be totally overstating what DS was doing when I looked at the books. Even when I was pregnant and had to count fetal movements - the doctor assured me I was doing it wrong, that there usually wasn't THAT much movement....

Dottie ... I have the tall and gifted child. I have started calling her my amazon girl because she is just as tall as the 4 year olds in the neighborhood. One mom was shocked to find out she is only 2 1/2 and assumed she would be starting kindergarten this fall. Even knowing that DD is gifted I jump to the conclusion that she is shocked by her height not anything else. LOL But reading your post I have to laugh because it was clear that Katelyn's speech was advanced beyond a four year old but I never thought that was what would bring the mother into disbelief. I know I know ... denial!

And as far as the comments about something wrong with other kids ... I still do it. There is a four yr old that lives across the street and I can't understand half of what she says. I am sure she needs therapy but I also don't have anything to gauge that against. I keep telling myself it isn't fair to compare other kids to DD.

What a road you've been on.

Yes! It brings me to tears often because had I really known, or had I understood the complexities, the first 4.5 years would've gone MUCH differently for DS5.

HHmmm interesting conversation....I too got the comments about my 2nd son and always thought they were talking about his height but he too was a precocious talker. I just always assumed they were talking about his height. I'd get the question "Why aren't you in school?" and he say, "I go to pre-school."

LOL, I have a tall DS4...and although I knew something was up early on..I was always so happy he was bigger because at least when he does exceptionally advanced things people thought he was older. They were pretty amazed then they saw what they thought was a 3 year old reading signs in the stores...but if they knew he had just turned 2 that would have been even more awkard. I used to pray that people wouldn't ask his age because I didn't want to lie to them, and I wasn't ashamed of him...just the situations and awkwardness. Anyhow, now that I am considering skipping K, I am glad he is a tall kid. It works well for us.

So sorry you are going through all this. I have to say that most parents don't know what they are doing. Yes, some know more than others how to handle things...but good parents will try to learn and try to change things when they aren't working. It sounds like you are doing exactly that. I teach parenting classes, I have researched working with and parenting gifted children, I have looked here for support...And I STILL don't think I have everything quite right yet. No one is the perfect parent. It's normal to look back and see what we could do different. Hindsight is 20/20, what matters now is to look ahead and do all you can. It's not like it's too late, they are still young. I learn more every day.

Sometimes I kick myself for not going with my initial instincts (like my ridiculous idea that DS4 didn't need a pre-k with academics since he was so far above pre-k academics...I felt I should just put him in a play-based pre-k. That was an awful experience and they kicked him out after a month. That had to be very hard and confusing for him and if I hadn't done that and gone straight to the Montessori things would have been better. BUT, he survived and I survived and although it seemed like the worse thing ever at the time...he doesn't seem scarred from the event and is thriving in his new program. Parenting is all about making mistakes and hopefully learning from them. Please don't feel like people on here are more qualified to parent your child. You are the parent you are looking for resources and help...that already puts you above so many parents that think they have all the answers and don't.