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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,898
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,898 |
In the usual way of "post your problem to the internet and it will go away", those boys were on the bus again today but took no notice of us. Long may that continue! Thanks to everyone for your input.
Email: my username, followed by 2, at google's mail
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207 |
Well, play it out if you said something. What would happen? Do you fear that it will escalate to physical violence? Or are you just afraid that they won't care that you said something to them? No, I'm afraid that they *will* care, in that they'll be pleased that what they're trying to do - upset us both - has succeeded. I think that as a result they'd do it more and for longer. That was my experience when I or anyone else tried to stand up for me, and I'm afraid that both here and on another forum where I asked for advice, everyone who's ever had this happen to them has said Ignore. Various people have said "say something" on principle, but nobody (yet!) has said "it happened to me, or to my child, and someone said something and it stopped". I find that there is a particular 'look' worth learning how to make, as if something small and squirmy just crawled out of your neighbor's sandwich. I'm thinking head cocked, eyes squinty, mouth disgusted. Instead of saying 'something' - perhaps a well placed 'look' might do the trick.
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207 |
In the usual way of "post your problem to the internet and it will go away", those boys were on the bus again today but took no notice of us. Long may that continue! Thanks to everyone for your input. Wow! Glad to hear it! Awesome!
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207 |
Well, when I was a child, I regularly stood up for people being bullied, and the bullying stopped. Now, I was a child at the time, and of course you aren't. That certainly changes the dynamic. But in response to your question, yes, I can say for sure that "This happened, I said something, and it stopped." *Many* times!
By the time I was 7 or 8, I'd say, pretty much everyone in the school knew that I would put a stop to any bullying that I saw, and I didn't care what the bullies thought of me or said about me. I was never in a fight of any sort either. People just stopped because I told them that what they were doing was mean and I wouldn't allow it to continue. I used the threat of telling the teacher, but I very rarely had to actually do it. Go Kriston! Yippee! Just hearing that you were standing up where you were comforts me in retrospect. Smiles, Grinity
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,145 |
I find that there is a particular 'look' worth learning how to make, as if something small and squirmy just crawled out of your neighbor's sandwich. I'm thinking head cocked, eyes squinty, mouth disgusted. Instead of saying 'something' - perhaps a well placed 'look' might do the trick. Yes! This is just the sort of thing! Good one, Grinity! You remind me that I do usually give "the look" first, and I only resort to saying something if it doesn't work. But usually the look is all it takes.
Kriston
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,167
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Joined: Oct 2008
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I get boys in here all the time that think they're tough and delight in making the other kids uncomfortable. Problem is, it doesn't work here. My kids are all immune. They have their own stories and could care less.
With most boys this age, I've found that if they can't intimidate you, they give up. If it was me I'd comment on their lack of manners and how big they must feel picking on a little kid. Make them feel like idiots. But like Kriston, i'm not known for keeping my mouth shut!
Shari
Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13
Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!
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