Wow, Crisc, all of these thoughts are invaluable. I especially agree that it would be good to have the data from the school beforehand.
Another question: Is it ok to talk about standard deviations: Example a child 3SD above the normal IQ being similar to having the same special needs of a child 3SD below the normal?
Is is okay? Sure. It's a valid and persuasive argument. But think about realistically and theoretically. Her wording in her letter implies that she does not believe DS to be in that category. Consequently, that fact will not help her understand DS's situation, at this time.
I'm guessing she may have some "data" that doesn't put him in the PG group. DD6's teacher actually showed me the assessments they give the kids to determine if they need above grade level material in class. She probably should not have done this, however, she is so sweet and her intentions were to calm my fear that my child wasn't being challenged appropriately. I was actually shocked(in a bad way) so THAT didn't work. She truly believed in her heart that these assessments were the end all be all. ((huuuuge sigh))
Which reminds me, the teachers around here seem to be under the impression that the child has to consistently perform with 100% accuracy in order to be competent and ready to move on, prematurely that is. That's a big problem because it reward perfectionism and sets these kids up for problems down the road. So I asked: "At the end of the year when the kids get promoted to the next grade, they are all at 100% accuracy in all all subjects; across the board?"-again, wise to be quiet after that *question*
Timing is so important. More important than what you say is when you say it, KWIM?
Take my advice or not, but I really think you outta put this meeting in context. You pissed the teacher off without meaning to. She isn't convinced your kid is all that and to tell you the truth I'm a little concerned with the tone of the last sentence of her e-mail. I know a lot can get confused in an e-mail, but it seems somewhat telling of what to expect in the meeting.
Think about it this way, you aren't allotted one meeting per year with the teacher. You have an unusual situation with DS and he deserves to have more than one meeting to have it addressed. It deserves more than a little thought and serious consideration.
I'm just tossing out the idea that you may want to look at this meeting as information gathering on your part. No big decisions have to be made one way or another.
So that's my LONG winded way of saying: Be aware of what transpired before the meeting, how much time you have for the meeting and know what you want as a result of the meeting before you go in.
