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    Joined: Jun 2008
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    Originally Posted by minniemarx
    ... with Harpo and art; when he was 3, he'd stroke boxes of crayons and finger pads of paper, sigh deeply, get a bit teary, and walk away. Nothing we said or did helped him to be willing to try something he so clearly wanted to do, until we showed him a whole bunch of art books--he spent ages on a couple books I have about the Abstract Expressionists, and then he just went to town! He's been a drawing machine ever since--feeling freed from the restraints of representational art really opened the floodgates for him.

    ROFL~ Tearing up a bit too! Nicely, nicely put !!!!


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    For the preschool set, I have been wondering about this in terms of perfectionism: that hating to have a shirt get even a little wet, and other similar tantrum triggers.
    My dd2.5 will scream if her hands get sticky usually, but if she's playing with gooey stuff on purpose she's pretty ok with it. I thought the wet shirt thing was an over-excitability, but I wonder how much some unplanned water might upset the perfectionist. She seems to take after DH in this way.

    Is perfectionism part of the concept of over-excitabilities?

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    Chris,

    I don't know if I would classify it under over-excitabilities but more a control factor. If they lose control than the over-excitabilities kicks in. Being a perfectionist: for me it is this need to always be in control. I have to laugh about the art comments especially Kriston's DS b/c I am an artist and it is such an odd happenings with being a perfectionist and not being a 'realist' artist. Even when my art becomes more abstract there still is the control factor of insuring light direction and layering of colors. In fact, I had to go through the processes of painting through history and creating my own paints from encoustic to strange vechicles for fat. My professors were always fascinated with my supplies and my knowledge of it all. But again it comes from my need to control it all. Buying the paint in a tube losses the control but creating my own paints gives me the control.

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    DD3 is very much a perfectionist, thanks to a healthy helping from... well, me (too bad we can't naturally control genetic qualities given to our munchkins). DD hates to do anything if she thinks she will fail including pulling up her pants, putting on her shirt, saying a new word, going potty . .. the list is endless.

    When it comes to more mental concepts, she becomes almost fanatical about learning it, having to repeat it over and over until she gets it. When she was 15 months or so, I had to read this Pooh ABC book over and over and over again until I had to tell her that was enough for a while. Mommy can only read a book so many times before insanity sets in! She used to make us write her name out over and over again every time we colored. Or we have to sing songs over and over so she can learn it.

    When it comes to physical challenges, DD would rather quit before she even starts, which has made potty training a real pain in the you-know-what.

    Maybe DD8mo will take after Daddy when it comes to perfectionism - PLEASE. smile

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    seablue Offline OP
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    Chris, our DD 24 mos. also does not tolerate a wet shirt or sticky fingers, but she says it matter-of-factly. "Oh. My shirt is wet. Change it, Mama." lol

    Here is another question from both DH and me to you experts:

    When we tried to show DD how to stack blocks, she would charge the tower thrashing her hands helter-skelter making all the blocks fly across the room, and laughing. This week she stacked 10 blocks, but it was without practice, since she's been in destrustion mode her whole life.

    She clears everything off the kitchen table or the coffee table, throws all toys out of the crib, unloads all contents of drawers, suitcases, boxes, purses, laundry baskets, cupboards... getting the picture? What is this need to destroy and/or to wipe the slate clean? Just personality? Geesh.


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    Seablue, I have kind of the same destructive attitude with DD3. Whenever I build with blocks, she knocks it down. She used to tear everything out of these baskets I had in her room full of bibs, wash cloths, burp cloths, etc when she was younger. The other day she was outside with DH playing in the snow. He made a tiny snowman, which was adorable. I went to grab a baby carrot for them to use as a nose, but by the time I got to the door, DD had pulled a Godzilla on the poor thing and crushed it. Just when I think she's going to grow up to be an angry serial killer, she picks up her baby doll with the most gentle touch and tucks it into bed. Hello Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. smile

    I think that's just what you get with toddler/pre-schoolers. Moody little suckers.

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    seablue Offline OP
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    Thanks for the response, Hoosier! Is your Godzilla mad when she does this? Our Godzilla is downright gleeful, so we haven't felt she's been moody. But on the flipside of destruction she is totally into babies and mamas (and daddys), too, like your DD.

    It's really like she's helping entropy along for the sake of progress.

    Yesterday we showed her how to stack blocks carefully and she found it fascinating and did it handily. "A whole new world," apparently. Maybe our Godzillas will grow up to be renovators rather than architects of new buildings.

    Sorry about your miniature snowman! lol


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    No, DD3 isn't mad when she knocks stuff down -- she does most of her destruction with a smile. And she's careful with her baby sister. Somehow I think she knows the fine line between what she CAN knock down or destroy and what needs to be handled with care. Granted, her attempts to play peek-a-boo with her baby sister usually involve a burp cloth being forced on top of the baby's face in a not-so-gentle manner, but DD3 doesn't mean harm.

    Maybe it's like our love of tearing down dry wall when renovating or smashing up an old concrete patio with a sledge hammer. Except they just knock down blocks and snowmen. smile

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    That's funny! It reminds me of the beach last year - I thought dd2 would enjoy making sand castles and digging but mostly she just wanted me to set up castles for her to stomp on. Delightful!

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