Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums GT denial?

HI, despite all my concerns DD currently likes her preschool. She would go 7 days a week if we let her. I talked to her teacher and she was very receptive and seemed to take my concerns seriously.

I think she is probably under placed, but under placed and playing two hours a couple times a week for now might be better than accelerated and then starting real school sooner with us not having the option to go back to before school days.I have thought about early K. Today at least I am leaning towards keeping her home as long as I can. As long as we can smooth out the bumps and challenge these thoughts as they emerge I hope she will be ok. She seems to be doing better after we talked to her.
I am still on an on going quest to find the right school setting for her before she gets there which I realize is probably unrealistic.

I am concerned about having her tested after she completely did not cooperate at her eye appointment this week. She refused to tell the guy what the letters were and whined and took off her eye patch. She was disgruntled and uncooperative from the get go. Lucky she did not need glasses yet because I doubt she would wear them any way. After this week I wonder if I should wait until she is older for testing.

I have to be honest, that I have heard stories of kids who did not cooperate. But I think that they are quite rare, particularly if you find a tester who is very familiar with gifted and the levels of gifted. The tests are designed to be fun, and many of the testers are 'good with kids.'

Since she likes her current preschool, and it's only 2 hours a few times a week, and 'talking to her' about reading worked, there doesn't seem to be a rush to test her. I would rush, however to locate the tester you would want to use, and find out how long the waiting list is.

Is your daughter old or young for her grade? What % of the kids at the school are kept back so that will be 'old for grade'? (I would ask this at each school and really expect an answer.)

Would she be going to Kindy next year or the year after? Is the kindy program half day and playbased or full day and 'learning, but not at her readiness level' based? Is partial homeschooling allowed in your state?

Early K seems very helpful in the long run if you are dealing with a system that is rigid, or a kid who is chomping at the bit. Keeping her home as much and as long as possible is very appealing in my book.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

In an effort to save you stress, have you read Hoagies' article on the "Least-Worst" school option? I think it should be required reading for anyone school hunting: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/least-worst.htm

That's not to say that you shouldn't look hard for something ideal. Turn over all the rocks you can to see what options you can find, and you may find something fabulous.

But eventually you'll have found all your options, and chances are better than even (to be optimistic) that none will be perfect for your DD. Even so, you're still going to have to make a choice and put her somewhere. This article is very helpful for choosing among not-perfect options to get the best fit in the real-world.

I think it also helps to keep in mind that very few decisions are truly irreversible when it comes to education. You may have to experiment a bit to find something that works. And often, just when you think you have the system perfectly tuned, your child will change, nothing works anymore, and you need to do something completely different. What works today will probably be woefully inadequate in 6 months. It's a little maddening, but knowing that this is coming helps keep you sane! (More or less...)

BTW, I think you've found a good solution with pre-K now. This is especially accurate, I think:


At least, that was our experience, too. It wasn't until full-day, highly academic 1st grade that DS7 hit the wall. He was similarly underplaced through pre-K and K, but it worked for him anyway thanks to differentiation and play-based, half-day programs. Early entrance is a great option for some, certainly, but if there's no great school solution awaiting them in elementary school, then I think there's also merit in not rushing to get to that poor fit.

Ah, it's so hard!

Thanks great info.

HTH!

Thanks the hoagies pages was really helpful. The first school has been surprisingly helpful lately. I found out they have a GT teacher who takes the kids to do one on one stuff as needed. The K at this school is also reading and doing more math (add. and sub.) than our in district school. They start screening for possible GT in K. The problem is it is hard to convince these schools of what she is doing at home. Even advanced programs seem not very challenging. No one wants to start her early because she literally can not sit still. Today she started doing fractions, got it as soon as I showed her and got every one right, but bounced talked and was spinning in the chair while she did it. At the end of the program we were using, for 1st graders. she said that was easy and ran off to play. I am going to read Ruf's book over the holiday.

How much is "as needed?"

Not to be negative, but we had this same set-up at our public school. It translated to DS7 (then 5.5 to 6.5) seeing the GT teacher once a year! She was simply spread too thin to be of any use. She sent home a packet of stuff for me to do with him, but nothing in the packet was high on his list of stuff to do for his afterschooling time. I had better, more appropriate materials for him.

I'm not saying this is what you're looking at, but I've learned to be skeptical of statements like "as needed." Your notion and the school's notion for what that means may be VERY different!

Thanks everyone,

Sorry about the incoherency of my posts and getting off track, I tend to think out loud.

Ok I have a plan, at least for the moment. I am going to observe all three schools preK and K classes this winter to try and see first hand what we have to work with. Then mabe we will find a least-worst fit before K?

I ordered Ruffs book, but it never came.
I did read Genius Denied, Wow! I never knew other teenagers also read Dostoyevsky. Or that it was unusual to read Dostoyevsky as a kid. All I can say about Genius Denied, is yeah! It makes me think it is not an over reaction to try and figure some of this stuff out for our muffin cakes.

Thanks for lots of good advise and things to think about.

I read a book on IQ testing by David Palmer called Parent's Guide to IQ Testing that was very helpful. It sounded like the IQ test was more reliable at around age 7. I also liked the way they gave examples of highly accomplished people who's IQ's weren't in the profound range, like physicist Richard Feyman. My husband and I are trying to get our school to test our son, now that he is in kindergarten. They agreed to test him for reading level with the school's reading teacher and I am now pushing for math testing but I would like the IQ and achievment tests but the school psychologist claims never to have had anyone ask her for testing for a bright child; only for learning disabilities. I think the school is trying to meet my son's needs without formal IQ testing (there is no formal gifted program) and they keep trying to claim that the individual teacher can meet the needs of the range of abilities in the class. I doubt that with 24 kids in his class and no assistant for the teacher. They are going to pull him out to work with the reading teacher and I continue to do what I can at home but it seems silly since he is in school for 6 hours.

Like you, I have a son that was obviously way above the "norm". I tried to have him early admitted to K and was refused. I homeschooled him for about a year. When it came time for him to enter K, I decided it was pointless based on the work he was doing at home. He still had not been tested, but with him it didn't take a number to know he wasn't regular.

About 5 months into the school year I was approached by the diagnostician at the school while I was there on business with another child (I'm a foster parent) She asked me about my son having heard about him from one of my other children. I explained that I had to homeschool as there didn't seem to be a program available for him. She asked me if I would consider enrolling him if they could design one. I agreed to look at what they put together.

Three months later, he is happily ensconced in a public school that has bent over backwards to meet his needs. They did require that he be tested and he is PG. He goes to 5 different classes over the course of the day ranging from K-5. All of this from a school that absolutely refused to consider early admittance to K.

I guess my point is, don't take anything as set in stone. My state has very limited gifted resources, but it only takes one person to be willing to give your child what she needs. I wouldn't worry about having her tested until you really need to. After all, you already know, don't you. You wouldn't be on this forum otherwise and a number isn't going to change that.

Good Luck!