Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums what about preschool?

Our daughter recently turned 2 and I have begun the "preschool thinking" again. She has been on a "list" at a local private school since she was 9 months old, but the program is 5 days a week. I am just not sure if she will be ready to go to school 5 days a week yet. I can send her 2 or 3 days if I like, but we would be paying for 5 and I know that won't go over well with my husband! She also has not been accepted yet. Her play date interview is not until the new year, so we will not know until march.

With all of that in mind, I have started looking at other preschools for her. I must admit it is a little bit stressful. I want the very best for her, but at the same time I find myself hoping is truely ready and something inside of me tells me that she won't be ready. She is quite anti-social for lack of a better word. She does not enjoy playing with any other kids, except her cousin of the same age. She would much rather play with older kids (like 7 year olds), or play with me. She is a very clingy little girl and I don't picture me leaving her at preschool very easily.

Will she change a lot between now and next fall? Will she be ready for preschool? Do I apply her for a couple of more preschools just in case and then just wait and see if she is ready when the time comes? I imagine I would have to give a deposit in about June to hold her spot for the year (maybe even earlier), so I would have to have made up my mind by then. I would just like to know now!

What was your situation? Any advice for me?

Thank you!!!

I have a DD 26 month old and are in a similiar situation. I think you can explain the anti-social with G+. If she prefers older children and adults it is not abnormal for her intelligent level. A while back I talked to an expert and this is before discovering the gifted route and without discussing gifted she informed me that socialization will be our hardest challenge for toddlerhood and throughout life. We were not as smart as you to get the kiddo on the waitlist until she was almost 2, so we are still waiting, but in the mean time we have her in dance class which she loves. Maybe you could find a program that meets once or twice a week for at least an hour where the parents are not in the room and see how she does. The interesting thing about our DD is she loves dance, loves her teacher informing me that Miss Sarah is the best teacher I have ever had... okay that is her only teacher, but as for the other little girls in the class doesn't really pay that much attention to them. She is getting better but still not that interested in the other girls.

So maybe by doing some other short program you could get a sense of how she would be in the 5 day program and if it is worth the deposit. It also could be a way to baby step her. And maybe you put her in a 2 or 3 day program for a few months and transition her into the 5 day option.

But in my opinion socialization is still important which ever route you take. Good luck!

Here is my 2 cents, for what it's worth:
I have enjoyed having my children in preschool part time so we could do a lot of other things for enrichment on the other days. It was the combination of socialization at school with giving them whatever else they needed.

I'm assuming that your child's birthday was after Sep. 1, and where we live, your child would still be considered to be 2 next fall. Most of the preschool programs here are very inflexible about birthdates, but some will group into small age groups - older 2's, younger 2's etc. For an "older" child, that can help some. We ran into this problem with my early fall child. The combination of her birthdate and being gifted made her out of sync with every preschool she has been at until now (we're on our 3rd). Last year was horrible - most of the kids were a lot younger than her, and she started dumbing herself down to fit in with the other kids, etc., many more problems.

This year she is in a school where her classmates either turned 5 over the summer and delayed Kindergarten or are turning 5 this fall. But what has really helped is having a teacher that is really skilled at challenging the kids at whatever level they are at. Her teacher seems to really "get" her and loves to challenge her. DD asks why she can't go to school more than she does.

thank you for the input. I am not sure at all what to do. For the past few nights I have been sitting at the computer and researching preschools. Each night I come up with a different plan. I suppose it is so hard to decide right now because I don't know who she (daughter) is going to be, come the fall. I want her to have fun and play, and stay young and innocent. At the same time I also want her to learn because she loves learning. I don't want to put her in a program that will teach her letters, numbers and colours...I am sure she would wonder why she was there. As you can tell I am just going on circles.

What do you all think about Montessori Preschool?

This is from an article I gave to my daughter's preschool teachers and told them how grateful I am that they take this approach. It's a Montessori style preschool. As part of exploring without constraints they give DD4.5 books that are at her level. They've ruined me for other schools!
The full article is here:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/08/27/gifted.kids/index.html

If you *do* decide to go with preschool ...

I'm a big fan of Montessori for preschool. It's much more hands on than a lot of places, and learning is encouraged -- but there is some direction, and children are taught a lot of self-help and independence skills. My ds6 attended an 5 day a week, full-time early childhood Montessori program (that's ages 3-6, including a K year), from 4y4m to 5y2m.

DS then 4, as an only child, didn't have a lot of experience doing things for himself -- I just always put on his shoes, since it was faster and I had time. I just made his lunches, since he couldn't reach the counters. Montessori gave him exposure to doing things for himself. He grew leaps and bounds in his personal abilities and confidence.

He also grew leaps while he was there academically. His math increased exponentially as he explored their manipulatives; he went from barely interested in adding to adding double-digits in his head, skip counting by random numbers (by 3s, 5s or 8s, for example), and completely understanding money and simple decimals and fractions. Not all of that was due to Montessori instruction itself; but he had an aptitude, and being exposed to the manipulatives was like a light switch in his head. They didn't do a ton for his reading, but he was self-driven there, and literacy teaching at Montessori is easy to differentiate.

If Montessori isn't an option, I'd go for play-based; ds actually went to a play-based nursery for the year before he started Montessori. It was fine; we just felt he was being understimulated there, and we were right -- he was a happier kid at Montessori.

inky,

Thanks for the article. It sums up what my beliefs are for teaching my child. I 100% believe in learning through play and we have used this philosophy allowing our DD (26 months) to guide her learning. The other night during twilight she looked up in the horizon and stated that she sees water. It took us a minute to realize that she was refering to the clouds. So I took her for a walk around the neighborhood so she could get a better view of the clouds. During the walk we discussed the clouds and the end of the sunset and why it looked like water and though clouds form from water they are of a different form. She then turned her attention to the moon which she is infatuated with and we discussed cycles of the moon and why it was not a complete circle. We just follow her lead and she retains this information for later discussions. So a few days later during the daytime she is in the car looking at the clouds and brings up the factss discussed that night.

Sounds like a really beautiful child-parent moment.

We sent our DS8 to preschool when he was 4. The environment at the school he attended was pretty rigid, and he had a hard time. He was reading by then, and his teachers didn't know how to react to that. When I innocently told them he could read (mostly expecting them to help him), all I got was blank looks.

My advice, especially if you think your daughter may not be fully ready, is to look for a school with a nurturing outlook rather than an academic outlook. My impression of the academics-focused preschools and kindergartens is that they're more rigid and also less likely to be flexible to the needs and abilities of giftred kids. It's kind of the opposite of what you expect based on the marketing material, but (at least where I live) the nurturing places tend to be better about recognizing giftedness and gifted needs.

Hve you thought about in-home day care? If you can find a good day care provider, the experience can be wonderful. Our day care provider does a preschool program that involves lots of cutting and pasting and painting. She also gives the kids a lot of practice at writing letters and numbers.

Val

I read several boards. Another board I read is geared towards people who homeschool or afterschool. A thread yesterday was about 'does your child like homeschooling, and why?' The overwhelming reason kids like homeschool is to spend more time with mom.
If you don't need to go to work, don't need a regular break from your child, then think about what a preschool can provide your child that you can't. Tumbling, gymnastic, swimming, etc, lessons give a child exposure to age peers, and teach a child to take direction from another adult in charge. Story hour at the library is free, and gets them used to sitting and listening. Time with mom at 2 can't be replaced.
Most 2 year olds don't play well together, and frankly, when else will she be expected to play with a 2 year old? Not until she has a younger sibling or she's a parent will she have to play with a 2 year old. 2 year olds need to learn to be kind, share, be compassionate, etc, these things are best learned from an adult who loves them.